Lost Love...

Dee

Summer of 2004, I was 16 years old a sophomore in high school.. My friends called me and told me they would be going down to the beach for a bonfire and asked if i would like to join... Well i didn't have anything to do so i said sure lets go... Little did i know i would meet someone that day that would change my life for ever...

His name was Andrew he was also a sophomore... Might as well state now that he was not my type, haha.. He was white/mexican, bald head, baggy clothes, and a weed smoker (Hey i was fun, but at that time i definitely had not experimented with any drugs), pretty much what people would call a "gangster" except he did not claim a set.. Andrew had shown up with some friends.. One of them was dating one of the friends i showed up with.. And so it began.. It just so happened to be 3 of us and 3 of them.. I was the only one who did not know Andrew from before.. My other 2 friends knew him from middle school and they weren't to fond of him since they claimed back then he was a jerk, Well since they didn't like him, guess who got stuck with him... ME.. Ehh it was no biggie to me i would take one for the team i mean he couldn't be that bad right? So all 6 of us walked the pier, I talked to him about different things, what school he went to, family, sports, he wasn't actually bad at all.. So before i left that night he asked for my number and i gave it to him.. That very next day he called me, we literally spoke on the phone for hours, the good thing was he didn't live too far away so he rode his bike over.. We had so much fun that day, he made me feel different... Time went by and there was never a day he wouldn't tell me how he felt about me and how beautiful i was to him.. We finally made it official and he met my family, I met his and it was perfect.. My family adored him because he was so funny, sweet, and very helpful/handy... Growing up with my mother and grandma it was nice to have a guy around from time to time to help out with whatever was needed... Within months i was so in love with him... But i told him i didn't like the way he looked and dressed.. he just looked so rough and that wasn't for me.. Well that was all it took, he let his hair grow out and he began dressing differently, he definitely did not look like a gangster anymore... He was completely in love with me, When we became juniors in high school he bought a car, and he would pick me up from school every day.. We would literally spend all of our time together.. There was a moment in time when i was a senior that we thought i was pregnant and he was ecstatic he wanted it to happen because he wanted forever with me.. i on the other hand was scared out of my mind, i was definitely NOT ready for a child... His family was so excited about maybe adding to the family, my family on the other hand never found out because i didn't say anything.. Well it was a false alarm, But after that happened something changed, he became very very jealous.. he hated that i went out with my friends on some weekends, he would tell me they were all sluts and that i should just be with him... At the time i was young i wanted to have fun, i was not about to have a man tell me what to do... So we broke up... That break up was really hard for me because we had been together for almost 2 and a half years.. But i needed time for me.. I was not ready to feel like i was tied down.. i wanted to be free and do what i pleased... He begged and begged for us to get back... And i always said no.. I remember clearly one time we had been broken up about 2 months, and he walked over to my house crying, begging me to get back with him.. And i said no, i told him i had met someone new and he would be picking me up shortly so that he should leave... Till this day i can not forget the look on his face when i told him that... He was completely shattered and i was unfazed...

That was in 2006 fast forward to 2010 i was now 22 and really good friends with his mom and it just so happened she got a job where i worked so one night she told me to come over to her house for some drinks i obliged and showed up.. He was there.. I saw him and my heart just sank to the bottom of my stomach, but it wasn't a bad feeling it all it was almost like the butterflies rushed back to me.. I think he felt the same because he smiled and just came over to give me a huge hug... After a few drinks with his mom we went in his room and talked about what we had been up to the last 4 years.. I told him i was in school and working with his mom.. He told me he was also in school and working.. We literally picked up where we had left off.. I ended up staying over that night.. I slept in his arms and it felt so perfect.. I never thought i would feel the way i used to when i was 16 again.. But i am so glad i did.. After that any free moment i had was spent with him, we were young and so in love.. He told me he had not dated anyone since we had broken up in 2006 because i was the love of his life and he always waited for me to come back... (i on the other hand could not say the same, but i was so glad he waited..) We spent a whole year together.. Doing all sorts off different things.. even planning to get married in the future and having kids.. As far as i knew this was it.. He was going to be my last.. Everyone loved that we were together, we had both matured and were way better off that we were when we were 18.. My family was happy and so was his.. But most of all WE were happy, him and i were in complete bliss every time we were together..

In 2011 one year after getting back together we got in a huge fight.. One that till this day i wish never happened.. We got in a fight and i left his house so angry at him.. I told him i never wanted to talk to him again, Although he begged for me to forgive him.. I was prideful and i said no.. I told him i wanted nothing to do with him ever again... And so i stopped talking to him.. For about a month.. I began missing him a lot, and my pride began to run pretty thin, so i gave in and text him.. i told him i was sorry and that i missed him a lot and still loved him.. This was in June 2011, he text back and he told me he had met someone new.. This caught me by surprise.. But i thought for sure i could get him back I mean how does someone you just met compare to someone you have known and loved for years? I was furious, i told him to leave her.. and to try it out with me again... he told me my chance had come and gone, he told me i should have stayed when he begged.. and he asked how it felt to be on the receiving end.. it broke my heart to know that he preferred to be with her than with me.. Now i know how he had felt all of those years back when i told him my new boyfriend was picking me up and that i didn't want to be with him... karma was teaching me a lesson, karma broke my heart.. He broke my heart.. Andrew.. The kid i knew since i was 16 got his vengeance, and not because he wanted to but because i did it to myself... I let my pride get in the way.. when i think about it now if i had only just gone back the day after we could have worked it out.. I dont know if that other person would have still come in the picture, but at least i would have tried to make it work with him, By September 2011 his gf of 3 months was already pregnant with their 1st child.. When i found out i cried and cried myself to sleep for weeks.. There was no hope, he was having a child with her.. It was over for good.. Till this day he is still with her.. They are now married and had another child... I think about him every single day.. I miss him every single day.. And i cant believe he was the one that got away.. Many many nights i have dreams where i see him, But we are never together.. Not even in my dreams do i get to be with him.. And i think its Karma.. for all i ever did to him although he always loved me.. No one knows what the future holds, But i really hope i can at least see him again one day, And tell him how sorry i am for being a fool.. I will always love him, that will never leave me.. And i hope he thinks of me every so often...