Saying sorry to my love Aaron

Mar

I'm sorry Aaron I really am, I'm sorry you never loved me, I'm sorry I was never good enough for you, I'm sorry that you don't want me, I'm sorry for ever believing you, I'm sorry for everything, I can't force someone to love me, I truly am sorry Aaron.

I'm sorry that you never really meant any of your promises, most of your promises you have made, you end up breaking I really want this to work out but i guess that's just not possible, this "love" we have in just one sided.

I really was trying and I guess that's what I get for trying so hard it blows up in my face. I guess I was never a girl you loved just a friend that you talked to everyday. I'm sorry I can't be more, maybe one day, or maybe one day we talk again and I don't feel anything for you.

I really want that, I want to be able to talk to you and not feel anything but I can't, and I know I'm making it a big deal but I was really trying, I was willing to change, and I still am willing to change. But I think the person who needs to change is you ...

You're not the nice guy that you think you are, because you hurt the person who would be there for you through anything and everything, I'm willing to stay with you and to be with you, and to accept you for you, I love you Aaron.

I guess this is what I get for wanting something so badly. It's okay, I guess because I'll move on you're were just a guy who like you said merely took over my heart, and someone who shouldn't have. That's the joy of being human because people move on, for me it might not be tomorrow and day after that or the day after that but eventually people move on and live their own life. You're not the same guy as you say you are, you really need to accept the fact that you're not the nice guy anymore, because nice guys don't don't this. I still want to be your friend but I don't think I can talk to you anymore just as friends, I don't think I can be friends with you. I'm not friends with people who lie, I'm not friends with people who don't mean any promises they give.

Maybe it's because your stepmom beat you, because even though you don't mean to hurt someone you still do, I really hope you and Emiliee work out I wish you luck on whatever that might come in your life. I really loved you Aaron, I really truly meant it when I said it. I'm still going to California next year so I hope we can still see each other but just as friends. It's going to be hard not talking to you everyday and not sharing things with you, I have told you things I have never told anyone, and I'm glad I had someone to talk to, but I guess that's all I was to you just someone to talk to, to pass time. I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry that you never loved me, and again I'm sorry for everything.

So I guess this is a goodbye, a goodbye for now, i want to talk to you once I'm over you, once I have no feelings what so ever left for you, then I can be your friend but for right now I can't do that, I want to thank for making this birthday a pile of shit, I was really looking forward to our skype together because you promised but yet again with the promises you broke it. I would have done anything for you, I stop talking to the guys you told me to stop talking to. I was being 100% loyal to you. I was willing to wait and be 100% loyal to you for a long long time, but I guess that's not enough. I love you Aaron, and I really hope that you find that one person that makes you want to change and be a better person and I guess that wasn't me.

Thank you for showing me that no matter how hard you want things to work with someone that reality smacks you in the face. I really wanted to call you and say it to you instead of text because I wanted you to heard what I sound like right now, what it sounds like to cry for someone who never loved you in the first place, to say that they love you but never mean it.

This is really hard for me to say because I made myself believe that you truly loved me and that we could change for each other.