My pain is forever.
The Unknown
01 Nov, 2014 01:34 AM
Jake. That's his name. Jake. He was my first kiss and I thought he would never hurt me. I'm not going to say our love last forever because I knew that wasn't going to happen. I did think he wasn't going to hurt me. He told me and I quote "I'll always be right here for you."
A few weeks later, he broke up with me in a note. He left it on my door like a pathetic person. I was crushed. I acted so strong but when I got home I cried myself to bed. After that, he dated a few other girls and I dated some other guys but I was never really over him. He was my first love after all. Come to now. He's been in and out of my life. He comes around ever time he wants sex and I sadly give it to him which means he was my first time.
I know I sound like a stupid girl but I'm not. I know I should just leave him alone and get over it but It's hard because I see him everyday and he was my first time, first love, and first kiss. He says all these amazing things before we get together then he'll be a dick and disappear on me then months later come back.
I miss everything about him his touch, his smell, his laugh, and his smile.
I am a hopelessly romantic person and I have these dreams that one day he'll see what's right in front of him but I know he won't. He even told people I was his biggest mistake.
I've dated the best people I ever could and they really loved me but I just can't get over him as much as I want to.I'm just his booty-call and I sick of it but he's like a drug to me.
I want to break this habit though. All he's ever done is build me up and then break me done. He leaves me heartbroken and he can walk alway without a scratch. It's like he feels no pain. He feels nothing for anyone but himself. I just want him so bad yet I don't. I want real love and he will never give it to me.
He will never actually tell me "I love you and I want to be with you again." I know him as well as I know myself.I need the real thing. Love. He will never love anyone but himself. He's called girls hot. When I see him around my heart aches but then I see he never even loved me.
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Comments
Post a Comment16 Nov, 2014 05:47 AM
oh..yes its true that when it comes to ur first love u wil
feel the pain...because i experience it already so i know how it feels..but life must go on..search in everywhere until u fine ur real happines..dont be crazy..
21 Nov, 2014 09:12 PM
It's truly sad,what do we do? Jst
take heart,be brave and try to move on! He might come back when he sees u happy again .
26 Nov, 2014 04:54 AM
It is very sad story it touched my heart u sould make your self brave and bold love is bloody fuck....
.
26 Nov, 2014 07:07 PM
First love alwayzz givs pain...I've experienced d same nd it happns mostly to evryone...BT keep urself strong nd thinkk DAT therezz alwayzz a better option awaiting u ahead in lyf who will luv u wid all his heart...so SMILE....
28 Nov, 2014 07:12 PM
I can understand yr, bcz it's the matter of first love, ,,,,, nd everybody knows it's our weakness, ,, our first love. ...bcz it's always gives a lot of pain, ,, don't be sad my dear, , be strong yr. ..It may be, ,,, someone waiting for you, who is more nd more loves u, ,
24 Dec, 2014 08:50 AM
Just know not all Jakes are like that ;) but no seriously I had kind of the same situation, I gave Allie everything, I sacrificed my time, and my schooling and my friend relationships to try and make us work and she treated me like dirt, she was my first kiss, and my first love, and we dated for about a year and a half, she wouldn't touch me, she refused to hold my hand, hug me, etc. I only shared one kiss and the kiss wasn't even real I found out, She turned out to be a manipulative little bitch (sorry excuse the language) she only kissed me because she wanted to make her stupid single friends jealous. Ya can you tell that this was Jr. High yet? Ya 9th grade year! worst year ever. she made my life a living hell. and all I would do was compliment her, and tell her how much I loved her and how I would always be there for her and she would return that text or that sentence with (on a good day) "ok" on a bad day however it would be "you pathetic sack of shit! blah blah blah stuff like that. I never understood why she would yell at me like that, but I couldn't leave her because I thought I really did love her, and she was my first love and It was a mess. but just know if you ever need anyone to talk to, I am here, I understand what you have gone through. I know I am a stranger but i am honestly trying to help if you need/want it.
06 Apr, 2015 01:02 PM
I know how it feels... someone just built me up and broke me down ... i can never ever in my life will deserve happiness... a true happiness. i did whatever others want me to do. but they never thought of me as i thought for them... i would sacrifice a lot for others and they would only give sympathy in return... people just know how to broke others in pieces (according to peoples i met only) peoples always say to me especially my freiends that they will always be going to be my sides but this are all talks .. when i needed them they never showed up to me... i cried alone have no one shoulder to cry... the day when someone really broke my heart (it was my fault to trust him ) that day only i came to realise how cruel this world can be... u can give but never expect anything in return... never live for others...there is only one person for whom we should live..our self...
i just needed someone who actually cares for me ..nothing more than that..was that a bigggg wish? peoples pushed me in dark where i am alone i have no one with me... but u can talk to me if u want to cause i know how it feels to get betrayed by others u trusted most...
27 Jan, 2016 06:14 AM
It's truly a sad one dear but I believe you can still make it standing tall if you believe in yourself, pick up the little pieces that's left of you and move on. Take some time out and speak to yourself (a retreat). retreat). Ask yourself what you really want and who you want to be with. After this cross-examination (if properly done) I'm sure you'll make a headway to getting it right this time. Remember, don't let anyone who doesn't deserve you cage your happiness. I believe you can be better and happy again. Good luck!
10 Oct, 2016 03:44 AM
To be honest his a m***** d*** he doesn't see what a good girl he has loving him you deserve better I bet u heard this a hundred times but this time don't think with your heart think with your brain your a strong beautiful person one day I promise you he will regret everything God made u for a person and his not the one for you his out there and I bet your close to your soul mate