Love < Lost < Lust

Dani

She never was wanted. "I am never wanted nor am I picked first... I just wanted to fit in and be like one of them!" She cries in the corner of her bedroom. Red ooze seeps onto her pajama sleeves but not even that pain could be felt. The pain in her heart was just too much for her small sickly frame could support. She wanted to die and no one could hear her last scream. They left her.

April 19, 2013 Young Daniella Roselyn, "Dani.", had the life. Her parents and family supported her in every way they could possible. They spoiled her relentless with gifts and love. God was even in her life. What was wrong? She met people but always held a shield. Who can blame her? She was molested 3 times. Boys were her worst fear instead of it being her dream. Then she met him.

"He", noticed how caring her heart was. Also of how scared physical contact feared her petite body. She trusted him though, she somehow knew he was different than the rest. And he was. He was 23. She being 17, it was her Junior year in high school. Too old? Or maybe the maturity grabbed her heart. Who knows, it's not my story. She worked with him in a nursery during the weekends and Wednesdays. He made her laugh and vice versa. She was secretly funny, he thought. He started to admire her kind and caring nature towards others. Wasn't too long before, yes, she was in his mind. How could I ask her out? She's still a minor but one more year...then I can. "Daddy daddy! Come here." His 4 year old daughter pulled at his pant cloth. He never made the right choices and this one costed him a life. The mom died with complications. "Daddy??..." She pleaded, he snapped out've it. "Coming sweet heart." He was raising her alone.

He looked at her often. Stalker...she thought as she picked up the toys. He is not looking at me. What is there to look at anyways? She looked down and pulled her sleeves up. He can't know about that, the scars smiling at him.

It wasn't before long they began texting each other. You know, about the kids of course. She didn't own a car but he did. She was okay with walking to places, it helped her father out who was at home drunk as usual. "Sometimes you got to take responsibility." She once told him and with awe he replied, "Wow, that's amazingly tragic." She laughed. He was always so dramatic. "It's okay, I've always been a little grown up." He agreed. "Yes, I see that...hey listen...I like you, a lot. Is that weird?" She couldn't believe her eyes. No one has said that and really meant it before. She hated guys...still with her guard she hesitated. "Really?..." But soon, she did like him because he was different. They talked and talked...every day. Night and day. He told her the sweetest things.

"I love you Rose. I want you to be mine. Your so sweet and passionate, I hate it! Haha jk." She blushed. He wanted her hand but her age restricted her from doing so. "What is it dad?!" She came downstairs and a belt met her face. WHAP! Red streaks lined her small body. She was only 98 pounds for being 17. "YAHHHHH!!" She covered her hands with her face. Bloody...

Crying she called him. "Hello Rose?..what's wrong?" She ran outside to the park near her house and began breaking down. "I don't get it...why must men hurt me?! My own father doesn't give a damn about my life but what? Do I deserve this?...I do don't I. I'm such an idiot." She sobbed. He couldn't take it anymore. He ran to his truck and stepped on it. His little princess was with his mom at the time.

"Dani!" He called out to her. She came to him with a tear stained face. Embarrassed, she hid her face and tried to wipe off any visible blood stain. "I'm fine." "Uh huh, let me see." He pulled her gently..."Ah Rose...". He pulled her into him and wrapped his arms. She silently sobbed into his chest. "No one deserves it." I'll always be there Dani, always.

They were in love and they knew it. He knew it but..." Hey if you find someone more suitable it's okay." They told each other. He was older after all. He feared for others opinion, she was bullied already.
Man...I love her but...his cell phone beeped.

She got ready for the nursery. A smile stamped her face, she never was this happy nor has she been for a LONG time. It didn't matter if no one else loved her physically, she had him and Jesus. She was set with him. "His girl is such a sweetheart too." She told him one time too. She babysat her often when he had to work at his house. She liked to look around and pull out his shirts. Cleaning and making occasional meals when he came home. "Yay! She like a mommy." His daughter once said at one time. She blushed and shockingly looked at him. He smiled too. He knew that as well...BEEP BEEP BEEP.

She loomed down at her phone. "Goodbye Dani, I have to leave the nursery. And yes, I have met someone else...don't take it personally but I think this one might be it. She works as a model and has a car. I'm sorry Rose..." She stared blankly at the text. A heat started to burn in the back of her eyes. What?...how? Why?...she threw it. The screen had a nasty crack that was audible from a mile away as it slammed into the wall. "DANI! What the hell?!" She climbed out of the window before he could land the first punch.

She ran with all her might but it was hard doing so with all the tears from her eyes. Why? Was I too much to handle?! I know I'm not the prettiest flower or the brightest color but please, tell me why?! She tripped and fell. But she just softened the earth with her tears. This is what I get for trying to have a little infinity...she coughed. Blood spewed in flecks. Not again.

Heart condition?! When did she get that? He managed to get word that she had a heart condition that sometimes is unstable. She was rushed to the hospital.

Coming home she didn't speak one word to anyone. All she wanted to do was die. Why couldn't she die at the hospital?! Running to her room she collapsed on her bed...she pulled out her phone and dialed his number. Ring...ring...no answer. She did it again. No answer. Okay, text...no answer. No answer, no answer. NO ANSWER!! Tears ran down her face. It's hopeless...a picture of a beautiful woman came up on her newsfeed. With him...he's better without me.

I'm such a burden...to anyone! I hate men I hate this!!! She cried and hit her pillow. She loved his girl like it was her own. The way her curls reflected in the sunlight and the way she lot up any room. That's the kid she wanted...she can't have any anyways so there yah go!! She laughed a laugh of desperation and struggled to catch her breath. I hate him...he never loved me. He just used me...a pair of razors was hidden well in her draws. Ha, no one cares anyways...she grabbed it. Cheers...she picked them up highly and made her first incision.

Doctors do this all the time...why isn't that bad...two cuts...three. Blood. So pretty, the red. It's my favorite type of red...more Dani MORE! MORE!! AHAHAHAha! Tears came from her eyes. Im hysterically beautiful. The only type of beautiful I'll ever be.

She never was wanted. "I am never wanted nor am I picked first... I just wanted to fit in and be like one of them!" She cries in the corner of her bedroom. Red ooze seeps onto her pajama sleeves but not even that pain could be felt. The pain in her heart was just too much for her small sickly frame could support. She wanted to die and no one could hear her last scream. They left her.

She left. He never knew...until that day August 25, 2013. He ran to her side and collected the small girl in his arms. Why did I leave her? It's all my fault...she was still hanging on by a thread. She looked into his eyes. "Your the best/worst thing that has happened to me." With a faint smile...she was slowly recuperated. But the pain still lingers and the blood still stained. And the scars still smile.