I wish I did

Samantha Gaudia

My story started when I was at my junior year of my high school and everyday I would seat right at the end of the corner of our classroom and read a book. My family was always gone at night so I was practically always alone well I had a sister but she's always out (Which I didn't mind), I was always the shy and quiet one and had few friends. My life change when I was seated next to a new student in our class, he's name was Jared for me he was good-looking and really kind and after all we spent time with I suddenly fell in love with him.

We kept talking,messing around in the class and always have a movie night together and for a minute I always thought it would stay like this but I was so WORNG. One of my friend who I hangout with (their 5 of us) fell in love with him, she told me that she like him while my four other friend told her that they'll set up them together at first I hesitated but I couldn't say no because I considered her as a friend and told her that I'll do it too.

Some week later I was heading for my locker at late afternoon after my club activities I was about to go and get my stuff when I heard a familiar voice in the hall I hid in the corner and peeked a little bit and I saw Jared and my friend making out. It took a minute where I could hear them say

"So what about going to a movie this Friday" my friend said

"Sure that would be great" was all Jared could say and grab her hand and went on their way as a couple. I stand up from where I sulked and gathered my things and also went on my way too. I felt a huge pain in my heart like needles pining it like a pin cushion I always thought Jared was different from the other guys but all it prove that he was the worse, he didn't even said like "I don't know or "Maybe I'll think about it" but he just said it like I was an invisible ghost

I was in state of deep depression at that time I didn't bother to talk to Jared nor did he and my friend kept saying if I'm ok or not but all I could do was fake a smile and nod. I hated that feeling so much while I watch as my sister comes home happy after a successful date,my friend kept talking about Jared and how he always treats her and my parents who comes home and never bothered to check on their own children. Nothing was more painful than neglect than itself I had no one to talk to and share my feelings it's like everything I was to them were gone. I lost all hope, my trusted and loyal cat who never left my side died a few weeks after the "confession".

Everything felt sad and despair, countless of times I thought of killing myself but I ended up not doing it. I hated everything and everyone who I thought who could understand me. I hated everything all I could think about was how a coward I was for not saying anything on how I felt before.

And all I could do was carve this very words in my skin

"I wish I did"