Broken
Grace
10 Apr, 2015 01:21 AM
There once was a very lonely girl lost in her dark dark thoughts.
She spent her time thinking of ways to kill herself, and how she was not worth the space she took up.
She used to be happy, she had great friends and didn't care what ANYONE thought of her. For years she was bullied, but did she give a crap? No. She was herself and she was happy with that. Until they left her. They left her for new people, more popular people. This hurt the girl, she thought they were her best friends, she thought they would live out their lives together. But they only saw her as a tool. One night she was laying in her bed playing on her crappy old Ipod when she received a text from one of her old friends. "Do they want me back? Do they want to be friends again?" She thought to herself. She opened up the text but what awaited her was FAR from them wanting her back. "Hey freak, hows you dream of becoming a singer turning out? You realize thats such a popular dream I doubt YOU would ever make it. I mean you really suck. Like a lot" The text read. Anger filled her, she remembered her friend had told her something awhile ago. "It's going well actually. Now hows your dog? Oh wait...she's dead" The girl typed. She immediately regretted it though, she didn't want to stoop to their level.
"I can't believe you would say that! I loved her!"
"yeah well I loved you guys!"
"ew, are you a lesbian. Oh my god you're totally a lesbian!"
"I'm going to cut"
"Go ahead. DO IT"
The girl grabbed some scissors and tried it. But they didn't break her skin.
"Lol turns out safety scissors aren't sharp enough" She said in hopes of getting them back.
"If you're gonna do it, do it right"
"I'm going to kill myself" The girl said to see if they would care.
She wrapped her hands around her neck and squeezed but she couldn't do it.
"Dang! No matter how hard I squeeze I can't do it."
"Lol you sound like an emo kid." They tease.
The girl lost every hope of getting them back that night.
3 Year Later.
The girl is now in 8th grade and is in her math class.
She ruffles through some papers trying to make it look like she forgot her homework when she really didn't do it. A boy walks up to her. "Didn't do your homework?" He asks, bright blue eyes staring straight at her. She tries to come up with a response but is at a loss of words. "No" She says giving up at thinking of a clever come back. He gives her a stern face, "Good job" He says and raises his hand up to high five her. She smiles. "Whoo!" She says and high fives him.
A couple days later she is sitting in front of him in her math class and he takes a piece of her hair and twirls it. Her heart flutters and right then she knew, she had a crush on him. He was weird, funny, attractive, kind, and excepted her.
Over the next couple months she fell more and more in love with him. He was her light in the darkness that was her life. She hadn't cut or attempted suicide in three months. He made her laugh when her day was taking a turn for the worst. She loved him. She loved him with all of her heart. But she was a coward, she couldn't tell him. She had been rejected by so many guys before, her heart couldn't take another one.
One day in her science class she was on a Google doc talking to his friend when finally he popped the question, "Do you like Zack?" She thought about this, should she tell him? I typed her answer "Yeah..yeah I do" He looks up from his laptop and smiles at her. Zack walks over and sees his friends laptop, he reads the chat and gives the girl this look that broke her heart, a look of disgust. He runs over to his other jerky friend and whispers it to him in his ear. His jerk of friend turns to the girl and gives her a smirk. "Emily who do you like?" He says in a mocking tone. Her jaw slacks and when they turn away she drops to the floor and hides behind her rolling backpack so they can't see her cry.
That night she attempted suicide again, but failed.
1 year later.
Emily lost all hope in the world. She had no friends, her home life was awful, and the only light she had in her life flickered out.
Since the incident she had attempted suicide more than 5 times. The bullying got worse and the boy she fell in love with hadn't talked to her at all since that horrible day.
While playing soccer Emily fell and tore her ACL and Meniscus she had surgery and was put on crutches. She was having trouble moving around and the worse part was that nobody cared. One day as she was walking down some stairs she tripped, and the boy caught her in his arms. "Thank you" She said awkwardly. He gives a half smile then sets her down. Her heart thumped. She still loved him, and she still does. My friends this is my story. Every word happened to me. (All names were changed for privacy) Thank you for reading.
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Comments
Post a Comment18 Apr, 2015 03:36 PM
Ah I'm sorry. I really am. If I knew you I would love to be your friend. I really would. I can't say I understand your bullying pain but I do understand your boy pain. Its okay to feel that sorrow. It is. Read my story and you'll see but please don't commit suicide. I'm not saying that for my sake but for yours. You don't need to punish yourself. You are beautiful like everyone else. Your friends just turned to the dark side and maybe they'll realize how great you really were. For now stay strong. Life can be great. It just takes time. I'm with you. You have my full support. I can't change anything for you but I can chat with you. Please come talk to me if you need any help or just need someone to talk to.
19 Apr, 2015 10:58 PM
Y don't u move to another fuc king state or something those people r rotten, well everyone is, but hell ur life would be better
20 Apr, 2015 01:47 PM
Thank you, I have not attempted in around a month and have been clean from cutting for two weeks. I want to recover and I felt sharing my story would put me on the right path. I would like to thank you once again for being so kind and caring for others. I don't understand bullies they tear down the nicest people like yourself, don't they understand they are ruining lives? Don't they understand the world will not continue without kind, and caring people? This is something I have wondered for a very long time, something that is on my mind most days.
20 Apr, 2015 07:03 PM
please dnt gv up ur lyf u knwww future may gv u beautiful tngs in ur lyf
21 Apr, 2015 01:14 AM
This is comment i wont to give beacuse that help other people i well not do that beacuse ones a freind broke up they never can get freinds again.
21 Apr, 2015 07:50 AM
Vry vry heart touching story.....i really lyk it...
24 Apr, 2015 12:27 AM
your story is vary touching i hope you recover and good luck
26 Apr, 2015 04:06 AM
Life is not fair, sometimes it's better to forget, yet somtimes you need to take vengeance and enjoy the sweet taste of it
26 Apr, 2015 09:27 AM
every thing is gonna be all right just dont give up
03 May, 2015 11:37 PM
I'm so sorry. I don't know how you feel exactly, but I've had my heart broken before. I would love to be your friend. You'll be okay, though. Just put yourself out there and make new friends, ones that won't hurt you. I hope you find them soon. Stay strong. :)
20 May, 2015 11:51 PM
that is so sad I hope your pain feels better.:)
20 May, 2015 11:54 PM
and I would be your friend too. you seem so nice people don't have the right to treat you like that.