coffee

nancy

for Arnold:

If there is one thing in my life that I would cherish the most..
it's probably the day I met you..You bring me my sweetest smile
and my most painful tears..I got the deepest love for you and it cause me so much
pain knowing I don't have any right to be part of your life..
You just don't know how a single word from you delighted my days,
or how your voice disturb my system..It's worth keeping the memories in my heart.
I guess it just have to end this way..not all love has happy ending no matter how great and pure it is. In a short time I learned that love can't be measured by length of time or moments shared because deep down in my heart I know there will always be
a space for you...

One time I experienced how to be truly happy, even without reason at all..I learned to give without expecting in return..I am happy for your joys, and I am sad with your pains. I dwell between right and wrong and caught up in between. It's so hard when you learn to love someone but there's someone you are expected to loved as a whole. When I can't even decide to choose how can a heart provide for two persons
who means so much to you...They say it's hard to build a long term relationship but I guess it's more harder to break it..

Many times I question myself " how come it happens..?". Guilt makes it more heavier to carry, but that strange feeling is stronger than your will..even the first time I know I'm heeding
the wrong way, I even do my best to resist it. But fate make it's own manipulations and it gets harder each day. Hope begins to grow..my own will slowly melt down my resolve..when the fight
is between mind and heart how will I know the exact thing to do? Confusion consume my heart
and fear occupies my mind..

This new feeling is overwhelming, it's too strong to handle..I know how much I love to be with you, If only the situation will permit me to. I never thought committing a sin like this, is exciting..
It's like breaking free..it feels like flying and falling depths and risking too much in return.
You're just few steps away but you're unreachable..I got hurt badly but I just can't make myself give up yet, i known the prize I have to pay when I give up. It sums up the happiness
in my whole life...holding on..clinging more is like a suicide in a cliff but I want to remember the
moment I came near and burn with that same fire that makes my heart warm. I love you..and i love you more each day...how can I make myself to forget you? how can I forget something that means
life itself..But good things never really last.. I need to face it..You are meant to live life far from mine and you love someone else..truth hurts..I permit myself to act stupid, to believe on something that so far far from reality..

I hope you know how much I love you..I can't say it with words but I said it with my eyes a million times. even beyond time this love will stand strong..I hope you happiness and long lasting joy.
Thank you for everything.. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!