Why me...?
Destiny
12 May, 2015 05:46 AM
I know no one will probably read what I have to say because its a lot.. But, I just had to get this out of me I can't take it in anymore. Alright here it goes.
It happened on February 11, 2014. We were shy we didn't talk much I know but we would look up and smile at each other no matter how wrong our day went. We were in love. I could tell by the way we looked at each other.
To this day I still feel bad that I did it that I didn't tell or show or be honest with you why I did it I guess I was just to afraid to see how you would react. You told me you were afraid of losing me and I was afraid of losing you. Later on in our relationship we had started to drift away I got depressed and didn't know what to do how to tell you. So I just took faith in a blade that would end all my worries and sadness I never wanted to tell you! I never wanted to hurt you! But, it wasn't my fault you saw I tried my best to hide it from you.
He saw my arm and started to cry it was bleeding still and the cuts were barley healing. I'm sorry I was depressed I had cut. I still remember when you finished crying you had wiped your tears away and kissed my scars it felt good that you had cared.
But, where had that gone now I stopped for you. Then, you left me and said I can't be with some like you. Someone who self harmed.... That made me feel worse I cried and did it more this time deeper than before I wanted to die because what you had said behind my back. Your friends told me what you really thought of me that hurt me more I could feel my heart sink into my chest and I could hear it thumping in my ears and I just felt cold and empty after all that I had heard.
So I had felt terrible I don't know what came over me but I couldn't eat or sleep I couldn't breath my heart belated so fast I thought it would explode I went to the hospital I was there for a while. Did you care? Did you know I was there? I think not .
I had finally received and went back to school. Where this boy came up to me and said he loved me and asked me out I gladly said yes and couple of weeks later he called me and said I'm sorry but I don't even like you .
It was a dare a bet to get with you just cause your ex said I wouldn't do it. I cried myself to sleep every night cause I felt worthless no one cared or noticed . It hasn't gotten better ever since you left I don't know what to do anymore just lay down and cry myself to sleep every night. I miss you but you don't miss me. All I can do is ask myself Why me.? I didn't mean to harm myself I just felt you didn't care anymore so I wanted to disappear. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm done with love and life I want to kill myself.
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Comments
Post a Comment30 Jun, 2015 12:39 AM
lets be friends we are going under the same shit, don't do anything stupid please? fight for life. fight for love.
30 Jun, 2015 06:01 PM
You know, you are beautiful. I don't even know you but being able to stay strong this long is amazing. You may be thinking negative but you still are strong just being able to stand there and live. Know that people do understand. I do. Maybe not exactly because nobody will truely understand. But I do get the feeling. A lot of people in my life have left me for being different or doing something wrong but for me that's okay because I think about how great the time with them was and I realize I have no regrets. If you didn't already please dont kill yourself. Someone as beautiful as you doesn't deserve to die.
04 Jul, 2015 07:12 PM
I know this story was written a long time ago,but i just couldnt help myself and i need to comment. I wanna say that you're beautiful.you're not worthless. You were born for a reason and you shouldn't leave before making some change in this world. You gotta stay strong and fight for life. Be sure that someone out there loves you and you need to stay alive for them
05 Jul, 2015 09:46 AM
Hello don't mess your life for a stupid guy i know what you going throw i was in your place once and i took a od it was stupid and when you do that your are gving them power over you the best way to get pay back is to be strong and be your self and that will make them feel like shit for what they did to you and they will want you back and move on stop looking for love because god has a plan for you and you will hae true love one day be calm and enjoy your life
11 Jul, 2015 11:52 PM
Look, I know you probably don't come Back here after you write this but there are guys out there who would die just to have you. I been hurt and backstab by many but I always try because you know what there are others that love you maybe he doesn't realize how worth it you are but you know what someone else will and he will regret it so please fight for you and soon or later you'll find that I used to cut too and you know is okay don't feel bad you are strong and an amazing person if you want to talk text me 305-305-5074 I am here for you I want to help you I hope things have gotten better tho but I am still here in case you need help or someone needs help.
14 Jul, 2015 03:22 PM
look im pretty younge and i hope things go well for you! tbh i think i am inlove and seeing all these stories scare me because my love is in a group home with me and he always talks about going back into selling and im scared he will get shot becuz there was a drive by with him in it before and that scares me! but anyways i hope you get whats best for you and i am verry sorry but you shouldnt let this get you too down, god will bring you through alot and your still here so that means your hella strong!
14 Jul, 2015 08:43 PM
im here i want to help please contact me at helpyou38 @yahoo.co.uk
please i dont want you to die. stay strong
22 Jul, 2015 09:49 PM
(fake email id because i want to keep myself hidden) I got a big betrayal from a girl whom i loved the most in this world now she's married and i am alone in this world still trying to forget everything and i am getting success also but the scar never goes away that same thing stings me many a times. Love before marriage is a total waste coz people just use us and throw away when they find themself in danger or risk. Now i am A broken heart trying to heal myself by time and by God belief and just waiting for my job and then a girl to marry who can replace more better than that girl who left me alone even by knowing that il collapse without her but i stood my feets hard and survived and still waiting for my job and then my perfect love which would be given by God to me.
01 Nov, 2015 02:30 PM
Hi,I know you wrote this a long time ago , I just wanted you to know what your going threw....your not alone. You are a very amazing person and those boys don't know what they are missing. When they see you doing good , they will want you back , but you know what you are too amazing for them. They should have never done that to you because your worth it. Dont ever think your not worth the time in this world. All the people who are commenting these things , are telling you that your worth THEIR time. Boys are idiotic sometimes and just don't see how bad they hurt people. But, you...you are strong. Life may not get better right now...but it will later on trust me...please don't leave this world , because we are going to miss you.
11 Dec, 2015 11:05 PM
im here for you i know how it feel i am going though the same things and i hide my scars the best i can and im olny 12
26 Jan, 2016 02:59 PM
i read it it not to much i been cutting four min i all scars all over tbr i think fuck how there did u
18 Feb, 2016 03:20 AM
I now this is old...and if you are still hanging in there...Keep hanging in there...I know how you feel...It sucks...Ive cut because of my "friend" and she thinks nothing of it shes always mad at me...But as long as you stay with people who care about you you can make it through this...There are people out there that I bet would become super depressed if you died...Stay strong and for someone to leave you cause of that is just wrong...If I met someone who did that I would stick with them till the end and I have many friends including me and we stick together...So dont worry there are people out there who care about you alot even if you dont notice there are people..Stay strong <3