My Story of Love & Regret

Charlieboy23

Forgive me if my story seems kinda long but it's something that I just have to let out.

This all started when I was in high-school. I was in my first semester of 11th grade when I had seen these two exchange students that came to my school. When I saw them I thought they were a couple because they were always together so I paid no mind to them, but one thing that I couldn't ignore was the fact this girl...she had me hypnotized which was weird because it never had happened to me before. So I started asking around for this exchange student. I went towards my friends and they did the one thing I couldn't, they talked to her (I know I was pathetic). I tried like about 3 or 4 times talking to her but I couldn't I simply couldn't. Everytime I tried I ended up frozen stiff which is utterly stupid because all I wanted was to say "hello". She was and still is, GORGEOUS! Beautiful pale white skin, long black hair and these mesmerizing hazel-green eyes that chilled my spine down to the core.

One day I came up to my friends and ask them what was going on because they had these disappointed-i hate my life- anime look on their faces and I asked them what was wrong and they told me they all got rejected by the new girl. To my surprise they said " she already liked someone" and it was a downer for me because I wanted to give it a shot to see how it could've gone. A few hours later the guy that walks with her ALL THE TIME steps up to me with a pissed off look in his eyes for no apparent reason whatsoever and says that he needed to talk to me. I of course was a bit intimidated, why? this guy was ripped and I wasn't in the best shape of my life but I could give him the challenge...anyways. He tells me "Do you like my sister"? I asked him "Who the hell is your sister? I don't even know you". He gets even more serious and tells me "You know the pale girl that's always around me"? I answered "hold up...." She's your sister?! I thought she was your girlfriend?!" He started laughing in my face saying "No dude she's my sister but enough joking around"....then the air got all tense again and ALL of my thoughts were "This guy is going to beat me up for God knows what reason... just my luck". So he presses on and tells me again "Do you like my sister??" I was afraid to answer but what the hell. I answered "yea, what about it?"

He steps back, clenches his fists and takes off his glasses and IMMEDIATELY my thoughts screamed out (OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!.... Then out of nowhere this guys starts laughing, screaming, jumping, running and I'm standing there with a dumbfounded look on my face and he comes back and hugs me and says "Dude my sister friggin likes you and she's waiting for you to talk to her on the other building!"... I swear I lost 10 years of my life just by that little stunt.

I'm going to sum it up a bit from here on...

So I went over to where she was and as nervous as I was I asked her out. We were the school couple. The ONLY rocker/emo couple in school. Everybody that hated the emo's went up to us and said that we looked perfect for each other that they were happy for us.

I'm not going to lie to you (the readers of my story) I was the happiest kid alive. She was everything I could ask for in my life...but I got full of myself. I thought that I wasn't going to lose her for anything in the world. Things that happened to her happened and I wasn't there for her when she needed me the most and I acted like an ass. Several weeks passed and we were on a school trip and almost on the way back to the bus I saw this gorgeous ring and that ring made me think about her on how special she is to me and my life. On how she improved it so much that it wasn't even funny. I bought the ring with the intent of saying how sorry I was for the way I've treated her so far. Next day in school I was looking for her happy with ring in my pocket and with the intention of saying and spilling my heart she steps up and say's with tears all over her face "It's over"... My heart dropped, broke. That space was filled with anger and pride (something that makes me want punch myself every time i think about it) and instead of telling her how I felt, I just went with it and backed away...

4 years passed. One day a friend of mine pulls out a picture and says do you know who this is? I answered "Not really, why"? He said "Look carefully into the picture bro". I looked into the picture and my heart did something it hadn't done in such a long time. It started beating like never before. I was...happy just to see her even if it was a picture I was sooooo happy but...I saw carefully into this picture and I told my friend she is not happy. I can notice just by seeing her face... I gave him the picture back and forgot about her because I made so many mistakes. I was with someone I didn't want to be with and she was pregnant with my child so I couldn't leave up and not assume any responsibility over my child. My heart ached, my mind couldn't and can't forget about her. 3 more years passed and I couldn't take it anymore. I tried searching for her to tell her everything

(I will explain. God gave me visions on things that would happen but its up to me whether I want to do something about it or not)

So I Finally found her... She grew up to be even more beautiful than she was before. I wanted to cry so much. Knowing that she was finally in front of me, the woman of my dreams but I walked up to her and she gave such a threatening look that it scared me but I couldn't back away, not again...I told her everything well almost everything including my dreams of the tings that were going to happen to her... (I know, I'm stupid) She told me don't worry everything that your telling me happened to me already. I was devastated to hear that but she paused and said "Thanks to God nothing happened well, nothing bad at least". I tried EVERYTHING to get back with her but she wont see me for the person I am now, she still thinks of me as the immature kid from back then...

One day I got angry at myself and decided to tell her EVERYTHING I hadn't said before. I talk to her and just when I was going to tell her she says something that literally took everything out of me... Every single word that she said were the words that I was going to tell her but she was talking about another guy... I couldn't cry in front of her. I couldn't bring myself any more shame than I already had.

It's up to this day that I still think about her and how I messed up everything that I could have had with her. I live my life with regret because I can't seem to live without thinking about her.

To all of those who read my story. Please don't make the same mistakes I did. It is said that you don't know what you have until you have lost it, and you know what? It's true. Be grateful for that one love you know you can't live without because I know I can't...