Depression Love

Weronika

It may seem like I'm always happy, but what no one does know is that anyone can fake a simple smile. My name is Kate, I am 15 years old. Many people say that young people cannot be depressed which is a clear lie. I'm young and I'm, well, I guess yeah I am depressed. Every morning I lie in my bed, blankly staring at my ceiling wondering what it'd be like if I was gone. Wouldn't it be fun to die? I sleep most of the time because I don't understand why anyone would want to get up and do anything. Some people ask me if Ive ever cut. I always answer no. But that's a lie too. My hands are full of scars and I don't regret anything. I want to tell you a part of my life which kind of got me thinking. Let's move back to when I was 13.

I strolled along the school hallway getting shoved and pushed from side to side. I never was popular. I never was liked. I had One friend, my dog. And I guess my mum sometimes, if she wasn't out partying and drinking and having, she'd be a great mother. Anyway, I walked along the hallway until I reached my destination, my locker. I opened it and found a small note.
'Its beautiful. Sometimes I wonder, what it looks like in reality. I bet its even more beautiful. I will find out One day. ~Unknown'

I stared at it after reading it. I didn't understand what it meant, but whatever it was, I hid it in my pocket safely. A small teardrop rolled down my cold cheek. I wiped it off. I still didn't understand why anyone would want to live such a life like this. I wondered what the world looked like of someone else's point of view.
That night, I was in bed but I couldn't sleep. I turned from side to side to get into a comfortable position but it was impossible. I sighed. My left leg moved and reached the floor as my right leg followed. I walked over to my bag. I took the note out and walked back over to the bed. I read it slowly trying to catch up with every word I'm saying. What's beautiful? Reality? What? None of it made sense. I put it under my pillow and fell asleep.

Next morning I woke up and realised the note was gone. Instead, on its place was a golden ring. It was beautiful. It was pure blinding. I touched it with my weak fingers. It was so hard but so soft. I didn't know how it appeared there.
The next day when I went to school, I saw a teenage boy looking and smiling at me. He was cute, I had to admit. I smiled back. I turned away to look at the noise on the road. But when I turned back at him, he was gone. I felt my heart being ripped and torn apart. From then, my depression has become stronger and more painful.

~Weronika Szpak