Still Breathing

Shelisha

It all started at 6. It was stormin and my mom had to get more beer as usual. Then she met a "friend". We ended up going to his house. My mom,little sister, and his son sat together on the big couch. I had to sit by her friend on the small couch. I had a million Barney books in my hand, and he looked at me and said, which book is this, while he grabbed my vagina. It kinda hurt, but I was scared out of my mind. I felt like I was falling outta my skin, like I was gonna puke. But wen we left I told, mom went back and cussed him out.

The second time, was my first night in foster care. I had to sleep in the basement with the foster lady's son. My bed was across from his. When I was about to go to sleep he asked me did I wanna play a game,(I was 7) so I said yes. Then he said we were gonna play doctor. And I was the patient, I remember his hands roaming my little body, then he started trying to finger me and I had told him no, because doctors don't do that. Then he got mad and threw me down to the floor, I remember scraping my knee, while I was falling down. It started to bleed bad but he didn't care,so I just layed down and cried . then a few mins later he apologized and said this time I should be the doctor. So I began doing to him as doctors do to patients and as mine had done to me wen I got physicals. Then I asked him where was he hurt, and he grabbed my hands and put them in his pants and said right here, I felt him getting aroused by this and moved my hands. Then he pushed me down again, and this time I just sat were I was, my an has began hurting again. Then he undid his pants and brought himself closer to my face, I backed away a little, my knee wasn't letting me go far, then he shoved himself into my mouth, I immediately took him out of my mouth, and he grabbed my hair, and held it tight and forced my head back up to himself, I didn't open my mouth. Then he pulled my head back, and it stung my scalp, then he shoved himself back into my mouth. I could only cry, wishin my mom would get herself together so I could leave this place. Then he started moving himself around in my mouth, then he stopped and I felt him throbbing on my tongue, I tried to move myself off of him, but he grabbed my face and slapped me, and he looked me in my eyes and said, ur gonna drink this load. Then he did it, I was spitting if all out but he slapped me again, and he dropped some more on my tongue and made me swallow it. I was so hurt, broken,afraid, and disgusted. I crawled into bed, my knee was killin me but I didn't even care anymore, my knee pain was not worse than the pain in my heart. The events from that night continued on for another day or two, he was gonna rape me one night, but I left that day, I was never so happy to see my mom