One sided Love Hurts

AJR

I was surfing the net about how to get over one sided love and I found this site. I read a couple of stories here and felt a bit light.I am really sorry for all those who have passed through hard times.

The story that I am going to write is based on my true life. Please pardon me if the story is not structured properly as i am just venting out for the first time

I work in a multinational company in the finance sector. After my last relation which broke up in a bad way that was 6 years ago (long tym). After that experience I just wanted to concentrate on my career. Everything was going well for 4 years and then one day there is this girl who joined my organisation (the twist starts here and i never saw this coming). I never used to speak to anyone as I just used to complete my work and leave like every career oriented guy does. She saw me for the first time and with an excuse of borrowing a cigarette came up and spoke to me. I am generally polite with people i gave her the cigarette but never had the urge to speak to her again. The next day again she called on my extension with some work excuse and spoke to me. This continued for some days until the the ice broke. Later we started talking casually started messaging each other after work hours. She told me she had a boyfriend and at that time i used to just consider her as a colleague and nothing more than that. So after a few months the bond of the friendship became deeper, i used to drop her home after work we used to go to have coffees meet on weekends but still just as a friend. Her boyfriend used to never care about her and always used to take her for granted. As a friend i advised her that her relation was going to the dogs and explained to her the practical aspect what she is getting into.

Few months later her boyfriend goes abroad for further studies and then starts their long distance relationship. Our bond strengthened during this phase everything seem good she started sharing everything below the earth and we laughed together, had fights, make each other feel important and all that two people used to do in a relationship.She had become so emotionally attached to me that every morning and night we used to talk message. She used to miss me like hell. There were sweet messages exchanged between us but i just did not understand when did i fall in love with her. She was having a stressful time at work. I used to go out of my way help her try to make her feel happy. Even though her entire team was against her I stood by her and never allowed any harm even whisk her. I really cared a lot about her. Whenever she was sad i used to be low and try to cheer her up. Then i thought of expressing my love to her after one and a half years. I gathered all the courage to say the three words and her answer was "I HAVE A BF". I was heartbroken that day after i dropped her home i wept like a baby but then i controlled myself. She messaged me and spoke to me that night. The next day again we were back to normal. Whenever we used to fight she used to call back(n number of times) as if she is losing someone important.

After a few days one night she called and said her boyfriend broke up with her. She spoke to me about it and i supported her during that time. I made sure i was always with her so that she is not hurt, i used to take her to places which makes her happy. Then a few months later when we were drinking together i just expressed to her that I want to marry you and she was like yes if it converts into marriage I am OK with it I was super-happy after hearing her reply. So we started the relation which lasted for 2 weeks because her so called guy was back to India. Now she tells me she wants to give that relation another try. Its really difficult to let go of a person who you have done and taken the effort to make her happy for the past 2 years and was there in her bad times when no one was there.
I told her you talk about him now where was he when you were having a bad time, where was he when you were crying and just because he is back you just sidelined me. She did not say a word i was rude to her I told her things that were really bad so that she does not come and speak to me but she still comes back. I do not know how to avoid her have tried all the ways but she wants me in her life. She states give me some time have faith everything will be fine. I am trying to be strong that even though i see her face i should not get affected and just smile and talk to her.

I just ask god as to WHY did she ask for the first cigarette and why did she come to my life. Am i soo unlucky in life that after 5 years i fell in love and this is what i get. How can people not think about who were there with them and who were not. Presently i speak to her and try not to be affected. I just hope this does not last long because i haven't slept peacefully for months now and am always in a sad zone. It kills me every time i am trying for jobs now so that i can just be away from her, its affected my personality my job and the worst part is I am not able to concentrate on anything. I have started meditating and chanting so that i can have a control on my mind.