A Part Of My Life
Jenny98
02 Sep, 2015 01:02 PM
Sadness is not only about being heart broken by a boy or a girl, it is not only about going through a bad relationship. Sadness can be of various types. It can be of different categories and my one falls in one of them.
I'm a girl and I have a hidden pain inside me which I wasn't not being able to share with anyone till now.
I feel anxious. I feel anxious and scared when I'm standing alone in a crowded room. My whole body starts to shiver and I start to sweat. I feel very weak. And nearly collapse every time. I used to hate my life. I felt so sick all the time. I cried for endless hours and spent sleepless nights alone in my room. I used to feel very alone and scared. I just was not able to share this pain I felt with anyone, this made everything worse.
One day I went to school and saw that none of my friends came. I saw that I was standing alone and all the other people where having fun in groups. I started shivering and I nearly collapsed. Drops of sweat poured down from my forehead and i was just to weak to even stand properly. My vision got blurry and I started feeling dizzy. I wanted to cry but was too scared. Thankfully my mom came to pick me up early that day. I was saved.
After that day I stopped going out much. I never went to any parties. I felt too detached from the world. I felt so depressed all the time as I always thought that I'm not normal like other people. I always felt different and a bit left out for this, because I'm not that good at socializing either.
I know that there are lots of people out there who suffer from the same thing that I'm suffering from but just can't tell anyone because it's hard for people to understand. And maybe all these people cant share this hidden pain they have within them with anyone, just like me.
Yes, this was my pain; that I couldn't tell anyone about how I felt and what I was suffering through. I cant keep it within myself anymore so i took the courage to tell it to you guys. And I'm no more ashamed of sharing it that I have anxiety.
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Comments
Post a Comment27 Sep, 2015 04:22 PM
I am sorry you feel this way. But from everything you have said I can't seem to understand what the problem is. Why did you start feeling this way? Stop killing yourself softly. You need to be courageous and stop creating a fear which does not exist within you. You"ll destroy yourself if you don't. Pray to God to stregthen and help you through this. You can also speak with your parents so that they can help you. Don't keep it all to yourself. That is why they are your parents, confide in them. May the world not ensnare or change you from who you are. Good luck with life
30 Sep, 2015 12:30 AM
It's easy for people who have never gone through something like this to say you should just get over what you are feeling, and If it were that simple a lot of folks would. (I know I would) There are a lot of people in the world that wake up in the mornings and just can't figure out why they feel so sad, depressed, alone or scared.
I Use to feel this way every single day, It was so bad that my mom almost had me locked up in the nut house lol. I use to have Anxiety attacks and its like the worse feeling in the world, when i would have these attack that seemed to come out of nowhere I felt like I couldn't breath- Like I was drowning under water. I also couldn't think or focus because I had all of these thoughts rushing through my mind.
I totally understand what you mean when you say you feel detached from the world and have problems socializing because you feel different, I felt the exact same way so I closed myself off from the world.
I started seeing a Therapist because I found that it was easier to talk to a stranger than it was with my family or the few friends I still have left. I was diagnosed with depression, Anxiety, ADD and borderline Bipolar
Now that I'm older and a little bit wiser I am able to deal with Life and people a little bit better, I still have problems with crowds but I have overcome a lot. I'm not cured but I'm better and I Think you will get better too- It's just going to take time... You are writing about how you feel and that's a good thing. I would also like to say STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE people, they will only drag you down.
Wishing you well...
01 Oct, 2015 10:44 PM
I feel so bad for you dear. Your normal person like us. You don't need to fear, God is with you,. Be confident, Don't worry God will take you out from this problem trust in him, I'll Pray for you,. Jesus loves you & you are so special for him,. In Bible 6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."Deuteronomy 31:6 God bless you,
Always keep smiling
02 Oct, 2015 07:21 PM
We all go through breaking points but what matters is what you do to try fix them. Hala if uu wanna talk eyy!
05 Oct, 2015 11:05 PM
Yea as kate said: don't discreet something inside you no matter what happens
19 Oct, 2015 07:20 PM
I feel you girl because I have the same thing depression anxiety and sadnesses on my life