My Life

Nirmal Shah

Hey Guys! I just went on surfing the net & found this website. I haven't read any of the stories until now and just saw that this page actually lets you share your stories to the people so I just started to write my own one.

Well It all started when I was of 15. My family were running under a financial crisis & we had to face the hardest time of life which one couldn't imagine. But still my mother grew me up very well & I was very supportive & my parent's last hope for happy living. I was good at studies and It was SSC Matriculation year & my parents didn't wanted to take any risk on that. So they decided to arrange tuitions for me & it was my first time when I was going outside for studying as until now I used to only school & home environments for that. I was very serious in nature i.e not fun loving. you may find this in my writing style. And it was very first time, I had a crush on class mate. The only girl in our batch. I have never been with such cute and silent girl in my life. She was not that beautiful, wore specs, a pony tail on her head; simple walking style. No one would admire her as I was in my thoughts but I couldn't tell her that as I was very suppressed, feeling terrible because my financial problems. So I couldn't tell her or anyone anything. As until now I only knew that having a girlfriend means expensive gifts & other expenses for enjoying with her. I also wanted to give her all kind of happiness that one could have.

But after a month I found out one of my friend was also in love with her from a long time. I also imagined that she could be more happy with him. At that time I could easily trust anyone. So I stepped out from her life but couldn't keep her out of my mind. And after a year I found out that I was wrong at that as she left my friend for no reason. And then we met again in the same tuitions after a year and now she was the girlfriend of my same friend's brother. So I decided to forget her as a past.

And I moved on. Got a job. Than another one, than another and so on until the day I saw a new girl with a first sight so catchy that could erase my past crush with the smallest blow of breath. I was there for an Interview for Job. And after seeing her I decided to crack this gig. I got that job even after ignoring many flaw in my job descriptions just for her. Initially I was very shy as usual, but after 2 months I got casual to all staff. I also found her a little bit interested in me. She used to talk with me her fancies and all. Sometimes I found that fancies a little flirty too.

Also a day came when I was so overwhelmed and excited for the entire day when I was on leave from office and still chatting with her whole day. But it also came to an end.

And my heart broke on the day just six days after the above conversation day. I sneaked in her personal photos stored in my office pc by copying them at my home in a pendrive. There I saw a guy hugging her on the day of valentines with a red heart shaped balloon. I was so annoyed & hurt but still tried to explain my mind that it may be her past and nothing as such at present. But to my satisfaction, I asked her directly on Whatsapp about that guy. She first tried to ignore the question being rude & then what she said still hurts me even after a year. She wrote the words as "Not talk on personal just only officially talk plzzz kkk".

On that day I realized that I was nothing but a microphone or just a statue with no emotions for her to whom she can talk whatever she wants to. Ask for any kind of help that she wants and even after a year she cannot trust for sharing anything from her personal life. And even after anything you don't owe anything but sticking to her words. Yes she said sorry after typing the above words to me on the same day but the question is - Did she really mean it? - or just for sake of escaping her arrogance.

I don't know what was on her mind, but I know that she didn't allowed me in her any kind of personal talk.

I noted it to myself and exactly a year after that day I realized that the time I spend a year ago & the year completed in remembering her, caring for her; was all in vain as she couldn't see my other side that I wished to show her and no one else. As of now everyone knows me as super genius, cool guy who can never fell in love or ask out any girl. But they are only true at the first and last quality.

So here I stand as a guy who had no guts to fight for himself at the right time and was rather dependent on others for many of such moments, a guy with a lot of sleepiness but still can't have that a peaceful night, a guy with so much care but no one to take care of.

If you like my story then message me on facebook page at https"//www.facebook.com/nirmalshah9981