it hurts when a best friend says goodbye

mike

So I'm that kind of guy who doesn't have friends and like being along though I have 2 or three friends but not good one. I always put other before myself I always think best of other and never have think bad for anyone. I do anything for my friend even if they think bad about me. my friend have always make fun of me in the group about financial they are rich and I'm not they always make fun about it what I can't afford and they have it but I think it's okay if insulting me in front of other makes them happy then I'm happy.I was always there for them but they never were there when I needed them but still they were my friend even if they are bad to me but they friend so. that's how I am.

Goodbye story starts from here. So usually don't talk to people because I think if talking to them I will get to attached to them it will be hard for me if they ever leave.Which happened but more of it later.so when i lost all hope for nice people there was this girl on Facebook she posted her pic with the band member's and she was getting negative comments about being a vain snobby person and I took her side I don't know why but when people are mean to other for no reason it kind kills me.so I took her side and tried to convenience other that she did nothing wrong why is she getting so much hatred. Then she took that post down and messaged me. Thank you for liking the post but I took it down. Then I said

You did nothing wrong. Then she was like "you're sweet I don't know how people could be like that but you're sweet you're cool and nice"from this point our friendship started we started to talk to each other on daily basis we were miles apart but we use to get time to talk. we always tell each other how our days went and how we are.we always use to say good morning and goodnight to each other.we use to leave messages even if we werent online. We cared about each other so much.she had a dog named Lucy.one day Lucy got sick and she told me about it and she started to cry when she was telling me that Lucy was sick then it made my emotions come out to cuz when dogs are in pain it hurts me.so I tried to comfort her it was morning where she was living and it was night were I was living. So I told her I know you're fine right know but somehow you will get emotional again so I will wake up all night to stop you from crying and comfort you.so i stayed up all night.

Then she told me that I'm the nicest,sweetest,kindest, polite and awesome friend she ever had and that she was glad to have me as friend. She use say that to me everyday and she was nice and kind friend I ever had.so one day I said to her if my daily messages disturb you.she said "don't ever say that you dont disturb me okay they are necessary beside talking to you everyday make me happy and bring up smile on my face and there only 3 people I like to talk to on daily basis including you.she even said you important and special part of my life she said don't ever leave me.I said i won't you may leave me at some point or other but i wont.Just so you know she was married and had a kid of my age.she even told about me to her son and said we need more people like you.I felt very special.I know she was married and I never thought anything bad about her she was a great and awesome friend.her husband use you tell her not to use Facebook but she messaged me anyone. I even told her if her husband doesn't like then maybe we should not talk too much.she no talking to you makes me.then I was if she's happy then I'm happy I would anything for friends.

One day she accidentally broke her back which honestly made me cry.I was like take care of yourself.she was like thank you for caring you truly are my best friend.

Then I stopped getting messages
From her.but I use to message her everyday but she only replied few of them.then I told her you don't like me messaging everyday? She was no they are necessary. Then I said why you've stopped messaging. It was Christmas time she said"its Christmas time I've been busy lately beside its hard to talk to you around my husband" then I was like okay I understand.
Then thing started to get worse everybody on Facebook started to make band collages and dedicated them to there friends and her too.it made me jealous that her friends are making collage and I as a friends never did.then I also started to make collages for her and others as well.she use to love them she said"that I'm the most thoughtful individual it was heartfelt and I'm the sweetest Eva".
I once told her that I'm atheist.then she one day she told me that her very good friend is Ill.then I was like oh I'm sorry I pray for him to get quick recovery

Then one day she said to me"I know you mean well but these collages are getting me unwanted attention and you told me once that you were atheist they don't pray to gods "then i told her that its not like dont believe in god I only say that I'm atheist cuz If i Will totally believe in god then i will stop myself from doing hardwork.then I was like I'm sorry for that I never wanted anything to happen to cuz of me I'm sorry for bringing that on her.I didn't knew that making collages for you will bring this up on you.I'm so sorry I can take them down if you want she said"no not necessary they are already there I went private"then I was like I'm sorry for this it made me cry.
Then her last reply came she said"I wish best for you.I don't have time for drama.I hope you will find happiness one day.but I need to say goodbye. Hope you understand. I don't understand what you say to me" it was like the entire world just shattered. It broke me when she said goodbye. After saying goodbye she blocked me and there this guy who use to follow me he also blocked the same day she did.from that day I don't understand what I did that made our friendship came to an end or somebody said something to her that made her do that.

But if she doesn't wants to be friend to me I understand her privacy. But she was my first best friend I ever had she may have forgotten me but I didn't I still think about her and it makes me cry that she was my first best friend and I will never forget her.if she ever reads this I would just like to tell her that we may not be friends and we may not talk to each other but she was and will always be my first best friend and I will never forget her. If she's happy for leaving me like this then I'm happy if she gets happiness for hurting me then its all good I wish that she gets happiness in her life even the happiness I'm getting goes to her.