My Love

natalia

so, we have all herd about "love at first sight". well that's what happened for me. it took one night to know that he was the best thing in my life. he went to my school, & we had met on spring break. we became the best of friends. we would talk EVERY day. i could tell that kid anything, he knew me better then anyone else. then it was may or juneish when we both knew it was meant to be. June 8th 2010 was the day he became my boyfriend. i was so in love, he was the best thing that has ever happened to me. my life was perfect! we did things, like we would "take care" of each other, if you know what i mean. i would do ANYTHING for him, just to make him happy. i loved him so much, i would stay up all night because for once in my life my reality was better then my dreams. i knew he meant everything to me because my father left me at a young age & i haven't seen him for 12 years now... i would cry all the time because of this, but HE was the only person who EVER took that pain away and made me feel like nothing could hurt me when i was in his arms. & when we would kiss it was magic, i fell head over heels for him. he would look me in the eyes and say " baby, i love you so much, your the best girlfriend I've ever had!" then he would kiss me. haha & for some reason right after that he would pick me up, carry me around & lay me on his lap. he made me the happiest person, so happy that if i were to die right then and there in his arms i would die a VERY happy person. i knew we wouldn't last forever but i thought we would last longer then 2 and months. the night he broke up with me i was laying in the middle of the street wait for a car to hit me, i was on the phone with my best friend crying my eyes out. i wanted so much for a car to hit me but of course they didn't even come close i was outside on the phone at 11:30 pm screaming and crying. when he broke up with me i really couldn't even breath, it felt like someone stabbing me in my windpipe over and over and over again. i cried for 22 hours straight. & now he likes one of my best friends who thank god dislikes him ALOT. and would never in a billion years go out with him, but i want him to be so happy that i tried to make her go out with him. it was so hard, every night i cry myself to sleep, i don't cut myself but i burn myself all the time, to make the pain go away. I'm trying so hard to get over him that i have made out with 4 other guys and had another boyfriend besides him, but it NEVER work when i kiss another guy I'm in pain because its not him, when i date someone else i feel empty cause it not the guy i want. i still scream into my pillow everyday I'm VERY depressed because of him. and he makes me feel like i can never move on. many people think he used me but deep down i know he would never do that to me. & the funny thing is that if he wanted me back, i would forget that i burn myself and cry everyday and wanna die because of him & i would run into his arms and remind myself of how much i love him & that he is my superman and I'm his louis lane ...
but then again it may never happen. I'm still heartbroken & i don't believe that i will ever love someone as much as i love him... </3