What just happened?

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Anika. My best friend. My BFF! What she did could be forgotten but not easily. She betrayed me and everything I stand for. I don't understand, what did I do?? Did I hurt her somehow so she felt the need to do what she did?? I don't understand...

It was about two years ago that I met Anika. We became instant friends. Similar taste in music, similar opinions, similar style and just similarity in everything, but we never got bored of each other. We told each other everything, even super gross stuff that we did. I trusted her with my life, I think she felt the same. One day, at our hell hole of a school, we notice something immediately. A new kid. HE was gorgeous. We looked at each other and ran over to him introducing ourselves. His name was Travis, he also had similar music taste as us (which BTW, is SUPER important). We started hanging out with him all the time and he became one of our closest friends, and of course, ONE of us had to fall in love. Turns out it was me.

As weeks go by, I love him more and more. Of course Anika knows by now, she's even trying to get us together. I'm not sure what happened during that week but in the end I found out he liked me too. The happiness I felt was unbelievable. I couldn't stop smiling. The next time I saw him I was really nervous. My face was probably all red. We were together for about two months after that.

Then, I don't know what happened. I was shut out. Everyone was avoiding me, Anika, Travis and even Payton (she's one of my closest friends other than Anika and Travis). I was really sad and confused and mad. I'd listen to sad songs at night to make myself even more sad. I don't know why I did that. Maybe it made me feel better. A week passed and I was fed up. I went straight up to Anika to ask her what the hell was happening. She kinda just stared at me. Like if SHE was the one who was confused. "Didn't he tell you?" That's all she said. Then she walked away. My best friend Anika just walked away from me. TWO YEARS and she throws it all away. "Didn't he tell you?" What was she even talking about?! Obviously I had to find out what the f*** was going on. I finally went up to Travis and asked him to explain. He looked at me with a straight face. No regret. No sadness. No happiness either. His eyes were just blankly staring at me. "I don't love you anymore. You bore me and you are annoying as well. Sorry but it's true." Just let that sink in. Seems super fake but that just happened. Took me a while to let it process. Later that evening I was thinking of everything I ever did in my life. I kept thinking what he said was true. I am boring. I am annoying. I am nothing. Suicide seemed like a nice option. What would be less painful? That weekend was spent shedding tears whilst listening to every sad song I know including Led Zeppelins first album which I found sad. Monday was painful. Anika, my bestie, holding hands with you-know-who. The betrayal. She kinda looked at me and laughed. Then kissed him. *sigh* Love. I wanted to go and die. I wanted to die in a hole with my music. I just want to go. Let me go Lord. Let me die.

Summary: My ex-best friend Anika is now dating the love of my life Travis as they both laugh at my sorrow. Charming isn't it? Well life isn't perfect. Nothing is perfect.
It's life.


What's the point of living, if there's nothing to live for?