Some boys

Clary Barns

I wake up not ready to face another day, not ready to go to hell known as school, not ready to face him. I slowly stumble out of bed and into my bathroom, i look into the reflection to see a girl. She doesn't look like me. Her hazel eyes look tired and puffy, her blonde long hair looks flat and ugly, and her smile isn't there anymore, just a frown. I look away and undress myself. I step into the hot shower and stand there, letting the drops of water lightly burn my skin. I feel a tear fall from my eye as i think of what HE did. I turn the water off, wanting to forget about that. I make my way to get dressed and some how prepare for the day.

I dressed in a pair of blue jeans, an old navy t-shirt and my converse. I look into the mirror and sigh. I put my blonde hair up into a pony tail and leave, feeling somewhat satisfied with how i look. I grab my bag and make my way towards the bus stop.

I stop walking when i get to the bus stop. I see HIM. Laughing, smiling, acting as if nothing happened. As if he didn't hurt me. I slowly walk toward the bus stop and stand there queitly. "Hey babe, how was your weekend?" he comes up to me and puts his arm around me. I flinch and step back. "I..it was fine Zach" I say. "Cold?" he asks, with that smirk, the smirk he had on him when he..he raped me. "Stay away from me" I say coldly, trying to keep my cool. "excuse me?" he asked confused. "I..I said stay away. we're done" I reply. I hear a few oohs from the other students there. Before he can do anything the bus arrives. I sigh in relief and step on sitting next to my friend Rebecca. "Hey you okay, you look scared." Rebecca asks. "Yeah I'm fine." i reply with a small smile.

I'm sitting in class when my thoughts go back to the other night. HIM pushing me down after i said no, him slapping me across the face, sending tears to my eyes. HIM ripping my clothes off, and hitting me again after i tried to get away, him entering me and calling me names, me going unconcious. I feel another tear fall and quickly wipe it away. How could he do this, I thought he was trustworthy, i gave him my heart and he..he shattered it. The bell rings dismissing us for lunch. I wait for the other students to scurry out of the class and I wave i quite goodbye to the teacher. I make my way to my locker when i stop in my tracks. Zach is leaning against my locker door. His brown hair falling over is blue eyes. I remember when i fell in love with that boy. And now, I fear him. I slowly start to turn when i hear his voice. "Stop right there" he says, anger in his tone. I cringe and slowly turn to face the monster that hurt me. "W..what?" I stutter. "What makes you think you can dump me you whore?" he asks, approaching me. I back away and end up tripping. "Because of what you did to me." I say. "Yeah? and what might that be, ya gonna tell the whole school?" he asks, as he pins me to the floor. Tears begin to form in my eyes. I knee him in his junk and quickly get up. "Stay away....you're a..a rapist." I yell. His eyes widen and he gets up to hit me? I don't know but he is stopped by a teacher who want's to know what the ruckus is. "Fuck you you bitch" he says coldly. I run to the girls bathroom and fall against the door. I cry and cry before I hear the bell ring. Two more classes, just two more.

School ends and I decide to walk home, to mainly avoid him. I am five minutes away from home, when it begins to rain. This day just gets better and better. I make it home and run to my room, dramatically throwing my self onto the bed (something Disney princesses taught me). I change into my PJs and lay back down. My thoughts wander back to the other day again. I curse myself for thinking about that and slowly drift to sleep.

I wake up and get ready. I make my way to the bus stop and luckily HE isn't there. But someone new is. I slowly stop, not wanting to get close to a guy. He turns to me and smiles a charming smile. "Hello I'm Xavier" he says, putting his hand out. I hesitate but give in, he's just being nice. "I'm Lilyan, you can call me Lily." i say, smiling. We sit there in silence and wait for the bus, when HE shows up. "Hey you bitch.already replace me?" Zach says gesturing to Xavier. "Leave me alone Zach" i say, attempting not to cry. Why does he have to be this way? "Shut up bitch" he says getting closer. He reaches to grab my ass but Xavier stops him. I look up at him, wide-eyed. "She said to leave her alone" Xavier says. Zach smirks, i cringe at the smirk and turn away, more bad memory's. "Is this your new body guard?" Zach says, his voice angry. "No I'm just someone who thinks you should respect a girls boundry's" Xavier replys. "Fuck off new kid" Zach says, warning in his tone. "Guys stop, you ecpesially, Zach" I say glaring at him. Zach frowns and backs away."Thanks" i whisper to Xavier. He smiles.

School flies by, no problems today with Zach other than the bus this morning. Zach walked me home and gave me his number, I hesitated but accepted it anyways. Today was better than the last.

I wake up to a hand over my mouth, i panic and try to scream, but hte are muffled by the hand. I begin to cry when the person leans in. "Shh babe, I'm here." I recongnize the voice, it's Zach. I cry harder and try to hit, but soon notice my hands and feet are tied to my bed post. He slowly peels my panties down and touches me. I cry harder. "Shh I got you sweet." he whispers. I bite his hand and he pulls away. "Why you little-" he slaps my across the face. I wince in pain. He slowly unbuckles his belt and pulls it off. He wraps it around my mouth, making a gag. He pulls down his pants and enters me hard. I wince in pain. He pounds into me and slaps me when i struggle.

I wake up the next day to me naked, and him gone. I cry hard, remembering last night. How could he do that? again? I get up and stumble to put some clothes on. I wash my face an make my my way to school. I decided to walk. I get to my locker. Xavier comes up to me and I jump. "Hey you okay?" he asks. I fall to my knees, something about him makes me want to tell him everything. So I do. He sits there and listens. I finish, tears still falling. I look up to see anger. "I'm gonna fucking kill him" he whispers. "NO he..he'll get to me if he knows I told you." I say, fear written on my features. Xavier stands up and I follow. "He deserves to get hurt, what he did was wrong, you don't deserve that treatment." Xavier yells. His face contorted in anger. I walk towards him and hug his waist. He loosens up and hugs back running his hand down my back. What is this boy doing to me? I just met him. "I really like you" I say out of know where. "And thanks for caring." He looks down at me and smiles. He kisses my cheek. "I like you too" I blush and back away. "Haha umm I have to get to class...um see you soon" I smile and walk to class. I really like him.

I get out of school. Xavier decided to walk me again. "So tell me about you" I say. He looks down. "Not much to know...Umm My mom died of breast cancer, my dad moved here, and suffers from depression, I have leukemia. I stopped treatment." I stop walking. "What?" I ask, tears forming at my eyes. "Yeah, it's too late for me to recover, so I kinda gave up. I have no reason to live." He shrugs like it's no big deal. But it is, it is to me, I need him here. "No you have to stay" I say, fighting my tears. "Look i would love to stay woth you Lily, but i have no reason, other than you, and besides it's to late. So thats it, i get to know him, like him and he is gonna leave me? "Then we shall full fill whatever is left of your precious life." I say

2 months past and Xavier and I have done a lot, he beat up Zach, and we turned him in. We have been on several dates, we are now officialy a couple. We went to the zoo, had a picnic at the beach. I met his father, he met my family. He is getting sicker.
4 months pass. I'm sitting in his car with him and he kisses me. I pull him closer, savoring the kiss. His tongue runs across my lips, asking for entrance. I let him in and I kiss him deeper, not wanting to let him go. He pulls away. "Lets go to my place" he suggests. "Okay"
We get to his house and go to his room. I sit on the bed and he takes his shoes off, as do I. He gets closer, now I'm okay with it, I'm used to him. I want this. I pull him down onto me and he kisses me deeply. But this time there is passion in the kiss. I pull his shirt off and then mine. I moan lightly as he kisses my sweet spot on my neck. I want him, all of him, while I have him. "You sure about this love?" he asks. I nod. I pull his pants off and he slowly works at mine. Kissing my stomach, thighs, and i moan with each kiss. He is leaning over me, breathing heavily. "I love you Lilyan" He breathes. I smile, biting my lip. "I love you too Xavier." He crashes his lips down onto mine. That was the most amazing night I ever had with him.

7 months past. Xavier is a lot sicker. He has passed out a lot. I'm with him constantly. "Lily, my love. Never forget me, I'm sorry things couldn't be different. You were the first girl I have ever loved. Thank you for bringing that love into my meaningless life, and giving it meaning." Xavier slowly breathes out. Tears are falling from my eyes. "I love you" he says. "I love you too." I reply. Then he dies. That night i cried hard, losing my breathe.

10 months pass after his death. I'm married now. Two kids. A boy named Xavier, and A girl named Josie. I Know he wanted me to move on, it took awhile, but i sorta did. He lives in my memory, and stays in my heart, I'llnever forget him. I love you Xavier.