Just Keep Hope

Dylan

If you clicked to this story and counted on reading it, I'd like to thank you sincerely for taking your time to read this, I hope to give you a valuable message and also talk about what I've gone through in my life. Again, thank you for reading my story and remember to hold on to hope and not let it go.

It's about 5:25am at the time of me typing this. I couldn't sleep...and there are many reasons for why, because of the many thoughts in my mind, the nights where doubt my own strengths, the feelings I get when I feel all alone in this world, maybe it's just the times I see myself differently than anyone else, but the worst ...is the sharp but empty pains in my chest I get at times. These nights have been going on for months and on now, and I think I have come to getting used to them by now, after so long. I think that enough rambling, let me get on with this story.

Once, there was a boy, a very amazing boy, a boy who always stood out of crowd, but always to shy to take any sort of stand for himself, but always stood up and cared for others, no matter what. He doesn't think he is awesome or great or special really... because he knows he is. He loves his family, he loves his friends, he loves everything, he cares about others, he was lively, he loved his life and what was yet to come to him later on. He was happy. It's now the end of summer, the boy is now going into 7th grade, he never cared for his middle school, but he always stayed happy because he had friends to look forward to seeing everyday, and as for him, he was glad he had good friends at the time. Before, the boy had dealt with bullies I'm his elementary, he was called names, left alone at recess with no one, felt shoved away from all the other kids, he felt unwanted and disrespected by the kids, later he realized, those kids mean nothing and he knows he is awesome and a great person that he is now in middle school. The boys 7th grade years go by faster than he could have thought. Mid-year, the boy felt happy as always...then he starts to feel the changes happening to him, the changes a young boy starts to feel around the sametime he is now in. Those changes causes so much to happen, he gets more thoughts in his mind, more feelings, more strengths, more challenges. Maybe it was the struggles of an everyday middle school kid, so he goes about his life like these were never so worrisome. The months role by, summer is here again, the boy gets ready for 8th grade next school year, he couldn't wait. Until, the summer took a turn for the worst...his parents had a divorce, the boy was devastated and felt sad for weeks, even thinking that it was some of his fault, that he never achieved good enough or never the perfect son. It's was a hard summer for the boy, he tries his best to hold back his emotions about his, just to say to himself, "just keep hope, be happy and everything will be alright". This always made the boy stay okay and always keep a smile on his face. The summer ends, 8th grade begins and the boy was feeling alot better. He felt great...then the months in school role by and the boy, starts to feel more of those changes happening. He was so confused at the time of how to see this through, he always had his doubts now and he could barely focus on his school works because of these feelings that have creeped up into his life. I never understood these feelings he felt, so he then thinks, he try to see these through then...he gets it, he had feelings towards girls, feelings towards being a somebody to someone. Being a special person to someone he saw was special too. So, the months go on by, the boy is feeling good, not much stress in 8th grade year, he overcame hard challenges and saw them through easily. Although, he was bung up on these feelings he felt. He was always never to talk to someone he never met, because he was always shy, so he never new what to do, until he built up tons of courage, confidence and bravery to talk to girls. He was always so friendly, nice and sweet towards girls, he always tried to be kind and gentleman like too, because that's what he is always good at. Still, the boy never new what "love" felt like, he always tried to narrow it down, but couldn't. Then, one day, he notices a girl, a girl he has be friends with since 6th grade, walk by and he never new what he just felt, it instantly fell onto him, he never saw it coming...he liked her, after that day he builds up as much courage as he could to see her and tell her how he felt about her, and that spring morning in school, he decides to give it his all and ask her out...he goes up to her, nervous and worried inside, they greet each other and talk about school and subjects they both like, he even tries making her laugh, to get the nervousness out of him and stay calm, he then opens his thoughts about her and says how he feels, the boy felt great, he thought everything would be great and he could be very happy with her....but, the girl saw things another way, she left him with a good apologie, a hug and goodbye...they never spoken after that. The boy, oh how he felt was, he couldn't believe what happened, he was shocked, confused, and sad. He open his feelings for her out and he she left, the boy didn't know what to think, or what to do, but he new how he felt. Upset, sad, disappointed, confused, and sorry. Feelings he have never felt so much of before. The boy felt down and sad after the days went on by and he couldn't bare to let his life go on acting like this, so he picked himself up and told himself "just keep hope, be happy and it will be okay", he than saw that there is more to a rejection, he felt great, brave that he did what he was so scared to do and he did it, the boy then moved on and got over her, for the better.

So, months go by, exams go by and summer is here once more, and the boy has couldn't be better. He is having a great time with family and spend awesome times with the friends he kept after middle school. Though, the boy always had his thoughts and his dreams to keep him company when he was alone. It is now the start of highschool, freshman year, and he couldn't be more excited to start in the big leagues. Although, being a freshman had its ups and downs but he never saw to downs and always kept his head up. He made many new friends and met cool people too. Until...he always sees pretty girls walk by, he never seemed noticeable and never saw that he was often alone. He notices one day, the most beautiful girl he ever saw, was in his class, he always looked at her and smiled because of her beauty. She looked so nice and friendly and had a great personality. The girl although had guys eyes on her all the time, and the boy then had more doubts that a girl like her would never have a future with him, but it never hurt him to try. After awhile of the boy talking to her as much as he could, he decides to make a note for her, summarizing on how he sees her, how he felt and how much he feelings when she's with him. He thought it was sweet and decided to give her the note the last period of the day, where they had class together. The girl notices the note and starts to gaze through it. The boy felt so nervous at what her response is, and some students new what was going on too. He felt anxious and so scared at what she may do. Then...she responds,her response...she throws away the note and giggled...as seconds go by, the boy excuses himself from class to the boys room, and rushed to an open toilet stall. He couldn't believe what he saw, he couldn't believe what just occurred, he was in shock. Worst of all, his heart suck, it felt empty, it felt abused and ripped to shreds. He never saw that coming. He start to tier up and sits in grief. The bell rings, it's the end of the day and he leaves the boys from and noticed the girl walking by, he got her attention and she rejected him and told him to leave her alone from now on, and walked off. The boy than rides the bus home, trying his best to hold back his tiers...before going home to then cry on his pillow. Luckily, it was the weekend and he needed some time alone to think, he always had his thoughts with him. That Saturday morning was terrible, he couldn't sleep, he stayed up late looking back at all the mistakes he made in his life, all the actions he did. He thought of the girl, why she did what she did and why she told him to leave. It made him even more sad than he can feel, he never understood. He felt...awful, rejected, moronic, unwanted, confused...never in his life has this happened, he was so effected be all that has happened to him, he couldn't explain why this happens to him. It was like something changed about him. After a few months go by, the boy is doing well, but not himself. He noticed that people at school saw him differently, calling names and some hateful words appeared. The boy then seemed down alot, he felt emotionless, unhappy, and really misunderstood. He never saw things differently anymore, and he began trying to shove his friends away, but who else could he turn to. He kept his friendships strong and close to him as much as he could. With all he had left in him, who else was there to listen and be there for him. The boy still going strong, is know seeing why people say those about him, because he never puts himself out of the crowd like he always did before. He decides to change that and pick himself up again. He had a spike of motivation to care on through this, he was determined to be himself again. He always kept hope alive. Many months now going by, freshman year ends, suer starts and life is good for the boy again, he is happy. Skipping ahead to junior year, the boy is all good, he is getting his work done in school and he is doing the best he can to stay stress free. He still gets the names and the words thrown to him, but he ignores them all, no matter what amount of hate his directed towards him, he always stayed positive and never looked crossed about it. He was still the caring, kind guy he is growing up to become. The boys junior year is going by well and at home, things couldn't be as well as they are now...until the boy starts to think again...he then notices things are occurring around him, things he never saw coming until they actually did. He noticed, he lost most of his friends through the time he has been alone, he lost his parents trust, his heart has been toyed with, beat up emotionally, and torn up inside. He never saw these coming, he new he screwed up and he could barely help himself through this. The boy he saw himself as, the boy he thought he knew, has changed...he wasn't the outgoing, dorky boy who made people laugh and smile a bit, he changed. All the horrible things that happened to him in his past, really effected him and he wasn't that boy anymore. He become drained and motionless for a while, he had no one to talk to, he made many attempts to talk to his lasting friends but the never seemed sympathetic of him. He often felt sharp pains in his chest, and daily headaches that escalated everyday. Constant doubts in his mind, arguments with his parents have been something he got used to after a while. This effect his performance in school, he thought tries to help himself and ask to go out with friends and have alittle time with them, but his parents always kept him from leaving the house because they never trust him to be responsible enough. He struggles to make the best of himself and tried to get a job to get him out of the house, but it never worked out well for him. He never exceeded to his parents expectations for him and he felt like a failure. The boy really changed, he never thought this would ever happen to him, he never expected the worst, but that's what life was a about and he faced it, he still tried his best to keep everything together, and always keep hope...for himself and for the people around him, as best as he could. Even though his soul was nearly shriveled to death and lacked to survive, he still had a heart. His heart was in severe pain from all the things in his life ceiling down around him, everything falling apart, all he thought was could to live for wasn't worth trying anymore, it's like he fell in deep, depressive hole, with no way out. He was alone, stressed, exhausted, and depressed. After all of that, the summer before his senior year, and he had no plans yet for his future...and...he felt sorry, for every trouble he caused to everyone and all the damaged he caused the them and for himself as well. He learned to except it and take the consequences to face them. To teach himself a lesson, to be better to just keep trying, to just keep hoping and having faith, and he did.

The boy learned to just let everything out, we now are in the present and the boy still struggles to keep his head up high. His summer, before senior year, he wanted to make it his goal to heal from all that has happened, to recover and become the boy he once new and be what he was before, to change, for the better. Miraculous, the boy had a change of heart, he realized that it's summer and it's a time to be happy and have fun. He wanted to show to his friends and family that he can change back, to the boy the used to know, and he wanted to do everything he could to make it happen. He couldn't give up and he can't give up, and as these thoughts run through his mind, he starts to smile...he hadn't smiled like he did in such a long time and he new from there that it's time to go back to normal. He goes back on all the horrible things that occurred in the past, and then thinks of them differently, he puts himself in a positive state of mind and gives these events that happened and he just changed his ways. He thanks his parents for his support and love and starts to appreciate them more, and less of giving them attitude and criticize them before, and he regrets everything he has caused to them and has learned to never do it again. He tried his hardest to keep up his relationships with his friends, because he always appreciated them and never let them down, he always helped them with their problems and he always listened and cared about them, he always valued his friendships and never looked at them differently. Has hard as it was for the boy to change and recover from all his pain, he still carried himself till the end and did not give up on trying to be happy again. He was so deep in his thoughts and he thought he could lift up his spirit more than ever. He kept his hope. The boy now still keeps trusting in himself, takes care for himself and cares for others the same way. He tries his best to make good impressions and always learns from his mistakes and he still feels lonely at times, and he understands that he should not force love on himself all the time, he should value the time he has in his life. He can wait till love can find its way in to his life and he will cherish it like he always wanted to. He never was, or wanted, one of the bad guys, the ones who would go and cheats and lies, the ones who never respects the ones the fell in love with, he always respected and cared for others. He always made the best of it when he was alone and he always made up ways to feel better about himself. He never wanted what happened to him to last forever, so he didn't, he left all the mistakes he made, the trouble he caused and the heartaches, the mess ups, everything bad, let it stay in the past...and he never looked back. He took care of himself, he cared for others, he rejoiced himself again, he made mistakes and learned from them, he entertained himself and others again. He changed again, in a good way this time. He loved others and he learned to love himself again, he wasn't going to let other peoples opinions get him down or let people tell him who to be, he wanted to be himself again and that's all he wanted, he wanted everyone to see him as him again. It's was the most difficult, unbelievable, complicated times of his life, and it all worked out in the end because all he did...was keep hope, and faith and trusted that everything would turn out well, and hopefully he keeps hope all through out his life. Hopefully, everything works out in the end for the rest of his life, but now, he tries not to worry about love and all that, he focuses more on finding a job, caring for his family, and hard studies during his senior and finding colleges opportunities for himself. He finally experienced what hard times are like, he realized that more people have experienced worst time than him and he understands that, and he is very humble to feel sympathy for those who have been through alot worse, and he is very lucky to have what he has now. He couldn't be more better than he is today. This was his story of great accomplishments, rundowns, depressing times, recovery and a life lesson learned well, to always carry on and never give up on yourself. Keep hope, never lose it, and no matter what happens, he always keeps hope. He has a great heart, he always stays out side the box, he always stayed strong, he stayed tough and calm, and learned it was better just to be yourself. He is proud of what he has done and will never forget to have hope, and will forever stay true to himself, like he always has. To spread the message, just keep hope, no matter how hard you try and no matter how many people get you down, always keep your head up. Try something new, and keep sticking to what you are good at and always try to do better than you're already doing now. There is always a time in someones life for happiness, he never gave up, and you shouldn't either, just keep hope and try to be as happy as you can, think of all the bad and remember the good. Then keep the bad in the past and treasure the happy times, and if you keep hoping and keeping faith, everything works out and your life will be more valuable than you think. Trust me, the writer to this story.

If you read this entire story, than I thank you. This was really thought and had great detail to it all, and I'm so greatful and glad you read my story. Yes, you might have thought it out by now, or not but, this is true because I am the boy in this story, me the writer of my journey in this story. I really hope you enjoyed it and felt alittle of what I have gone through, it happens in life and it's okay, because you just got to keep going on and keeping your head up through these challenges and over come them. I know, I think I may have over done this entire thing but, I just love writing and I always wanted to share the truth about me and my struggles and show everyone that it all works out and changes for the better. At the time of me rapping this up, it's 9:45pm, the next day. I thank you again for reading this story and I should probably get going. Remember that, life isnt easy, there will be challenges and they are made to be in your way, and challenges are made to be overcome, so never give up on yourself and try your best to be the best you can be. I may not be much help for you, but I know how it feels and how hard it is too, but I did it and you should too. I'm just a regular, lazy, lame 17 year old kid, who overcame hard times and always kept hope and believed in himself, and it all worked out, and I hope it will for you too. I hope you enjoyed this story again, and thanks again for reading, it means a ton, and I'm glad I helped you if I did.

=) HAVE A GREAT DAY AND TAKE CARE =)