Just another sad story

Ally Mcciben

Daily life of a mistreated teen, is not really acceptable. Love? Friends? Life? Should I live another day? So many questions to this puzzle in my head. I would tell only the truth and nothing but the truth. My name is Christine Mayor. I am emotionally scarred.


Day in the life

I've always been told that school is amazing, wonderful, and "dah dah dah dah". But it's not, it’s a straight copy of hell. One reason is because everyone is very quick to judge, and they never stop judging. Girls always gossip, boys lie to get what the want. You can't trust anyone with anything what so ever. But before I changed, and everything happened, lets start from the beginning. We had to chose our connections, some type of fun thing to do other than school work.
Orchestra was one of my top picks...but sadly we start them in a few days which means I have to just basically mope. while I was in homeroom I met this girl named tiara, kind of ghetto, but very cool. Hey who cares, the more friends that I make the more I feel comfortable. On Friday, I get to go to my connections for the first time, which suddenly gave me a petrifying feeling. For the the rest of the day i was impatient and ready for Friday to come . When it came, I met three girls: Ona, Desiree, and Kamala. Who made me more excited to come to school than i ever was. Then suddenly a guy walked into the room, I was having a never ending staring session with the devil "the guy who broke my heart". Derek was his name, that guy gave me butterflies and made me nervous. I don’t know why, but it was the first time that has ever happened to me. Was I star struck? Are with an irresistible urge for him just to be mine? Am I not his type? I hope I am. From then on, my eyes were set on him. When I woke up, I was thinking about this guy I never met. A guy who made me feel something for him just by looking at me. I had fallen for a stranger. But how would I know if he fell for me also?
A few days later, Derek walked up to me and said 'hi'. Oh my… I think I was shaking. In my head I was screaming '' oh my god, oh my god, oh my god''. I said ''hey''. Then he asked me a question that made me feel so freaking happy.
''will you go out with me''
I felt as if I was crying tears of joy. I said ''sure''. Then he walked away with a smile on his face, while I felt so happy and I was shaking, a lot. The next day, I noticed something very strange, boys came up and started to ask what kind of guy I like. I said nerdy, glasses and braces. Gram was the one who asked first, I think he liked me. So everyday after that I felt like I was on top of the world, because I'm with someone who I didn’t even think I would ever be with. Then one day he walked up to me and said '"guess what day it is". I said "what". He said "its my birthday". I said "ok". In my head I was thinking " OMG how could I say ok, I just really messed up". During that whole day I was disappointed in myself for missing his birthday; like how could I… he is suppose to be my boyfriend.

Still regretting the moment I said ok I've noticed we didn’t talk much, and people started talking. What I heard was Derek was cheating on me. So a girl had to do what a girl had to do. I walked up to him, knowing I'll regret it, and said I think we need to break up. Little did I know that the reply coming in was not what I was looking for. He said "ok" and then walked away. Was I anything to him? Am I not worthy of fighting for? I still felt that nervousness when I talked to him its like he was the only thing on my mind every second. Out of the blue, do you cuss questions started erupting.

"I don’t cuss" I said to Gram and a lot of other people who wanted to be my friend.
They all thought I was a goodie-two-shoes.

During each class that I have orchestra, me and Derek have stare sessions. Lets just skip all of this and go to reality please. I fell in love with Derek… I know you guys are like in your -aww- moments right now but its not like that. I wish I never loved him like I did. We dated 11+ times and he never stopped playing me. I got into depression mode when I got home from school everyday, because I think I'm not good enough, or pretty enough, or even worth it. He use to say " maybe we're meant to be" but I cant even figure out if he was dared to date me again or he just wanted to play with me again. I gave all my trust, commitment, and love to a person that wont even give it back. Love sucks in all of its ways, until you find the right person to show it to.

I left that horrifying school to be home-schooled, alone, didn’t talk to anyone except my friend Olivia. Because everyone sucked and I don't trust them. You can say I have trust issues, because every time I get close to someone they end up hurting me. Like Amirah when I dated Christian or Derek. She told them so we could break up, and I always ended up forgiving her. Or Justin who I got really close with, well he ended up calling me a thot "that hoe over there" when I left school. But now look at me, I'm in the 9th grade and already I fell for Derek's lies again. I don’t talk to any guy like I use to, I just want to stay home and die in a peaceful way. Cause I'm tired and I am just emotionally scarred. I've been depressed for almost a year now. People may say Christine seems ok, but I feel like running away. I may laugh and hide the fact that there's no point in living when i have nothing to live for. Make out sessions in every hall makes you wish they caught aids.

Maybe not aids… but I think teenage love is a temporary thing… basically a lie. That shit only happens in movies cause in reality there's only fuck boys in high school and always will be. I wish there was such thing as a time travel so I could never date anyone because love DOES NOT EXIST.

If I were meaningful to at least one person that'll be the end of the world. Subsequently I am not worth loving or at least a second glance because I am me. Don’t feel sad for me because I learned what god wanted to teach me. I thank him because now I know that im ugly, unworthy, and stupid.

I am Christine Mayor.