Fool

Her

Normally I'd consider these sites as a depressing, useless waste of time that permit people to feel even more pain, but the message behind my story: it needs to be heard/read/ whatever.

So here's my sad story,
You know in middle school when you'd have that devastating crush on an older guy who'd just pass by you like you were nothing but another poster on the wall?
Lol well, same.

He was a year older, a new student, tall, very attractive, cute, with curly brown hair. During my eighth year in school, it was all still cute; just a cute little girly crush, until I reached my first year of high school. I thought moving to the building which was right across school campus where all the older people were would be the best thing ever.

Right before Christmas on my first year as a high schooler I received a dm on Instagram. It was anonymous and I had no clue who it were. "Merry xmas??????????" is what the message read. I'd been so excited to have a secret admirer! It was practically one of the best days of my life. Hoping it was 'him' I replied and thanked that person. We started talking and talked on and off for almost 3 months. That person told me that I was "different" and "special" and that i was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on. I honestly don't remember exactly what else we talked about, it was just all a dream to me. During the wonderful time talking to an unknown person I was convinced was my crush, I found out that boy and a girl from his class started dating. Devastated was an understatement. As time passed by, I started to feel anxious, who was I talking to this whole time?! I told my hacker/technology geek best friend to find out what email had been used to create that fake account~and there it was. His email. No one could wipe the smile of my face since that day; I became such a different person, such a happy soul// happier than I've ever been and I never knew why he had such an impact on my life. But still I felt confused, I had mixed emotions. I made him admit that it was him and I asked him why he'd dated her if he said that he had feelings for me: he explained that he tried getting over me because he thought id never like him back if I knew who he were. He told me that he made a huge mistake and he was going to fix it. He took my number and we texted, all day
Every day.

But when I saw him at school, he ignored me. I was heart broken everyday. I'd ask him through text why he was doing this and he'd say it was because his crazy girlfriend would hurt me if she knew.

Everytime he tried to breakup with her she pretended to faint, or totally ignored him. I didn't want to get mad at him because I never wanted to lose him. But i wanted him all to myself, so I told him to man up and talk to me live, in person, like actually people, or he'd lose me. I set a deadline but he never met it. He texted me the next day apologizing and he told me that he broken up with the psycho. But an hour after I'd ignored he posted an Instagram picture of his girlfriend captioning that he loved her. Months passed and all conversation between us stopped. I had to overcome my weakness. I had to overcome him. But after I starred in the school play I received a bouquet of flowers at my door with a letter from him. He congratulated me and wrote about the admiration he had towards me. I texted him to thank what he had done and we continued talking as friends, until I drowned into my feelings again. But still, the guy never acknowledged my presence live, he'd just smile at me secretly when no one was looking and I'd just convince myself that it was all for my own sake. Everyday he'd swear his love to me, he'd that I was the best thing in his life, he told me his personal stories and I was always there to help him. On the last day of school he promised to meet me in a public park so we could discuss what we had between us. I spent the entire day fixing myself up to impress the guy: he never showed up. I never wanted to text him again, and even if I did I couldn't because the number he'd been talking to me from was deactivated.

After I'd bawled my eyes out for hours that day I received tons of text messages from several people.
"This isn't his number!!"
"You're lying you're just trying to break the guy and his girlfriend up"
"You're delusional"
"Hun you haven't been talking to anyone but a creepy stalked this whole year"
Then I figured it out. I'd been played in such an excruciatingly painful way.
He had never broken up with her,
he'd never told anyone about us,
I was just a toy
Everything he said wasn't true.
They all thought I was a liar,
But I wasn't. I never was. It was him. and even when I showed them the proof regarding the email people thought I'd photoshopped it or something. I was a joke. To everyone. I locked myself up in my room until my parents decided to send me away to California for the summer to take a break from all this drama.
When I returned to school, most of my friends had left me, but the rest were loyal. I moved on and I became stronger since then. I became more aware of everything and everyone and Last but not least, I forced myself to walk the hallways with my head held up high. I was never the same again.

Bottom line ladies, you're more than what you think you are, so don't give in to a piece of gold when you could have the whole treasure.