Rose between the thorns

Lonerguy

Hi everyone. This is my first story so please dont mind the grammatical errors and the long story. I read many stories in this site n they are all great. I dont know if this story even qualify as an ok one but i am not writing this for ratings but to try and get over these feelings i have.
I was in 8 std when it happened I was a shy, silent boy. It was another boring first day in school after summer break and i was sitting there thinking what to do at school. Then like a bolt from the blue the teacher walk in with a girl, a girl that will change me forever. The teacher introduced her to us. She was the rose,she wasthe prettiest girl i have ever seen. And on seeing her suddenly these feelings,ones i have never felt before came to me. At first i thought she was this popular girl,talkative girl. But i found out she was a silent, shy girl with the most beautiful smile i have ever seen.Thats when i fell in love with her. She was different than everyone one i have met. She would always stand out like a rose between the thorns and bushes.

Many of my so called "friends" said they liked her and started exchanging letters with her. I was jealous all but i just kept it to myself. Then from that day onwards she was the only thing on my mind. I dreamt about her every night. I go to school just to see her smiling face but she never did seem to notice me. If shes absent i would get really upset as it would be just another boring day at school.She was the only reason i went to school. One day a friendcaught me looking at her and what he said that i would never be good enough for her. It hurt me till this day.Those words kept me from telling anyone that i like her. But it wasnt enough to make me forget her.

Some of my friends sometimes insulted her behind her back but i tried to defend her all i can but that no one could know i like her. I wanted to talk to her and i cant control it anymore. One day i prepared myself to go and talk to her. But i found out she was already dating my friend. I felt like a knife went riht through my heart and i was about to fall.But i just kept it to myself the pain. That night i found a song (losing you-deadbyapril)and listened to it for weeks and it helped me. I started built up a wall inside my heart that block all feelings about any other girls. One day i was sitting in class when my teacher called me but i didnt hear him. She touched my hand to alert me.It was like a shock through my nerves and i couldnt breathe as i felt that soft warm hand touch me. The wall i built just fell down at that instant.

I was in love with her for 5 years but never said anything to her as i made a promise to never fall in love with my any of my friends' girlfriends and also i cannot handle to be rejected by her. Ater 10th std. all of us would go to different schools and this made me happy and sad also that i could never see her again and forget her.I dont know how it happened but she ended up in the same college as me. Now i see her everyday but cant do anything as the thorns would not permit me to get the rose. I started wanting to be alone shutting out many people from my life keeping everyone at a distant.

So during break i never got out of the class anymore as i dont want to see her as she would tear down the wall again and not to be in this kind of situation again. At this moment i ask myself do i love her. If yes then why cant i speak to her. And if no why am i unable to breathe everytime i see her. Here i am trying to succed at something i failed at for 5 yrs that is to forget her, the rose between the thorns.