Love You Forever

Theresa Path

I moved to a small town in Southern Ontario when I was 9 years old. I was nervous when I started the 4th grade. I hated change, because I've always been such a shy person. My parents were hard on me and my siblings and I found that there tough love method of parenting made me lack a lot of self-confidence.

On the first day of school no one talked to me. I sat alone during lunch and played by myself behind the trees during recess. I've never felt so lonely before in my life. Unfortunately, the lonliness continued. I never made any friends and I could see that no one was interested in getting to know me as well.

During my childhood I suffered from ulcers because I was always so stressed. The life at home kept me stress because Mom and Dad were constantly fighting. School was stressful because I had no friends and because of that when it was time to pair up for an assignment I never seem to have a partner.

When school ended I felt such a great relief. But of course all good things must come to an end. September came and I was entering the 5th grade. I remember before I walked into my class I said a quick prayer to God to help me make friends.

When the bell rang we all sat down and Mr. C started to read the attendance. I looked around and was disappointed. Half of the people in my class were from my 4th grade. They were the same people who didn't want to have anything to do with me. Then when Mr. C called out Eli, I looked over and there I saw him. A handsome boy with dark wavy hair. When he spoke he had a very distint rusty voice. A cute boy like him would never talk to a girl like me I thought, but I was wrong.

As days went by Eli and I got a chance to sit next to each other. To my surprise he was not what I expected at all. He was sweet, nonjudgemental, playful and most importantly he wanted to get to know me. I always loved it when Mr. C made us sit next to each other. Eli would always find something to say to me to get me upset. He knew that when I got mad I would punch, pinch and hit him. He loved my reaction because he always had a big smile on his face. I had so much fun that year mainly because I got to see Eli everyday, talked to him, play with him and laugh with him.

At the end of the 5th grade I received a letter from my school stating that I will be going to a new school that was built close to my home. I was heartbroken, because I wasn't sure if I was going to see Eli again. Even though I was only a kid, but I shared a spiritual love with him. A love based on purity.

Three years went by and I was finally entering highschool. I knew there was going to be a chance Eli and I will meet again. I was excited and anxious. The morning went by and to my disappointment there was no sign of Eli. Then after lunch I went to my next class which was Drama. I walked in and sat on the floor as instructed by the teacher. Everyone was walking in and talking amongst each other. Then there I saw him. He was sitting on the floor across from me. Instantly I waved hi to him and excitedly went over and said "Hi Eli". He excited said hi to me too. I started asking him if he remembered how he used to always bothered me and I would always hit him. He looked at me in denial and shook his head no. I saw that he was different. He wasn't the same sweet Eli anymore. I could see that he cared a lot about what his peers thought about him. I felt rejected and because of my pride I avoided him throughout my highschool years.

Upon graduating from high school I found myself pondering whether I should reveal my feelings to him. But we haven't spoken since the first day of high school. So I told myself that I have my whole life a head of me. One day I will meet my Prince Charm, fall in love, get married and I won't even remember who Eli was anymore.

After I graduated from University I met a really good man. His name is Alex. For the first time in my life someone looked at me like I was the most beautiful and most amazing person in the world. Alex was head over heels for me. I loved him because he loved me and was good to me.

Alex and I dated for 15 months and there he popped the question. I happily said yes to his marriage proposal. I felt so flattered that someone would love me so much that they would want to spend the rest of their life with me.

During the next few months of planning our wedding I found Eli crossing my mind a lot. Especially during the weeks leading to the wedding. I remember one night I woke up thinking maybe I should call off the wedding and go and find Eli and finally tell him how I feel. But that was a stupid idea. Here I have a wonderful man who wants to give me the life I've always wanted just so that I can go and persue someone who showed no interest in me.

Alex and I got married in the fall. We were very excited about starting our life together as husband and wife. Our first year together was tough. We had to make a lot of adjustment to make our marriage work.

After one year of marriage Alex and I started trying for a family. He knew I was not content with our current life. We bought a new car, new house and I truly believed that having a baby was going to make me happy.

Five years later we gave birth to our daughter. We both were so happy and for the first time in my life I felt complete. One year later we found out we were expecting another child.

During my third trimester I was getting sick so I had to go to the drugstore to get some medicine. After getting my medicine I sat in my car for a whilr just to get some quiet time to myself. Next thing I know a crazy fast driver drove in and parked his car next to mine. Being a mom I was annoyed and had to see who this crazy person was. He walked out of his car and instantly I felt my heart drop. It was Eli and he looked so handsome. I wanted to run to him and hug him forever, but the last time he saw me I was a young 18 year old girl. It had been 14 years since we graduated from high school. So I watched him walked into the store and when he disappeared I drove away. When I got home I cried. I cried all night because I realized why I was never content with Alex. It was because I had always been in love with Eli.
Three years since I saw Eli at the drugstore I finally told him everything. I told him that I had always had feelings for him since we were little 10 year olds. I told him I thought about him after high school and even after I got married. But I also told him that I accept that I can never be with him, but I needed him to know that no matter what happens in life he will always be my cute Eli.

Its been a while since Eli and I spoke. He never told me how he felt. He was speechless. Sometimes I feel like our feelings are mutual, but he is a good person and would never breakup a marriage. I know that I can only dream about him, that's all.
He is my first love and I hope that he will be my last. I love you forever my cute Eli.