Summer love, Summer lost

Marie Markham

From the day we were born he had been my best friend. The only constant in my world of chaos. One faithful day our friendship blossom into something so much more.

Summer of 2011 (11 yrs. old)
We sat on the steps outside our apartment building, there had been a big black out, not a light in sight and just above our head there was a sky full of stars, more than we had ever seen. But, somehow my eyes couldn't move from him. He sat with his head in his hands; so, I asked him what was wrong he just shook his head and said "nothing" but I knew him better. I watched him carefully as I set my head in my hands and looked to him with a smile. His lips twitched but he quickly turned away. I moved alittle closer slightly nudged him with my elbow, a smile still spread across my face, he looked over a smirk rising. He let out a soft sigh, "I'm just...such a small part of the world. What can I do? Who could I be? I want to be more than a nobody." I looked up and thought for a moment, "Everyone want to change the world, make a difference, start a revolution. It's true, maybe you cant. Not many can, but there is so much you can do everyday to change it. Just a smile or a helping hand to someone in need can make a difference. I mean take me for example, without your smile i wouldn't get through the day. He covered my ears as my parents fought. You wipe my tears and tell me my scars showe strength, and that is a beautiful thing." He looked up with softness and a smile, "What would I do without you?" He whispered as he leaned in resting his forehead against mine. "Die" I whispered back with a giggle. He laughed and shook his head and kissed me. After that everything changed.

2014 (14 yrs. old)
My mother had been diagnosed with cancer, my father battling his anger, my stepfather had begun cheating, and my stepmother became abusive. I was the rock of my family, and the stress of it all had become to much. I started to fall into a deep depression and began a battle with an alcohol and self harm addictions. Yet, he stood by my side and when I was ready he helped me to my feet. I started therepy, as the scars healed and AA meetings and he was there whenever I asked. He held my hand the whole way.

We had 4 beautiful years, then one faithful night I lost my only heart...I lost him.

Summer of 2015 (16 yrs. old)
He had left 2 weeks before on a family vacation to Hawaii. He sat outside his hotel room, his phone delicately pressed to his ear. We had been arguing because I had been refusing to attend a freinds party of his, I thought it was a bad idea, I wasn't ready to be around that yet. I could hear his voice change, he seemed annoyed as he bickered about just wanting to go out and have fun. I argued back saying it was to much. He angrily slammed the phone closed I could hear the force of it from my side of the call. He needed to cool off, he walked around the hotel then ran across the street, a car speed around the bend from behind the trees. The last thing he saw was headlights.

September 2016 (the day of his funeral)
As the day came to an end after the sun had set. The disturbed soul beneath my feet. There were no lights in sight just above my head there was a sky full of stars, more than i had ever seen. Yet, I couldn't look away, those letters engraved into the stone. My lips formed the words and I fell to my knees as tears streamed down my cheeks as my heart shattered.

All over a dumb party.