For them. For the one they ever were.

Theacter

My true story:
I loved them. I was their good captain and their funny friend, and their sweet sister. We were really one team. We played together for 2 years. At the end of the year we all had to fill in a paper, about your next year. Everyone filled in : we want to stay together. But one day before the summer holiday, one girl got a call. If she wanted to go one team higher. She said no, cause she wanted to stay together, and because she didn't know the people in that team. But that team needed one extra player. So one of us needed to go to that team, Nobody wanted to go, so the caller would choose a random name. But that girl really didn't want. So me as a captain said: I'll go. That was a hard desicion, but I made it, for my team, for her.
At the beginning of the new season, they trained on the field next to mem so I cycled forth and back with my old cyclesquad. Every week when my old team saw me, they screamed my name and came to hug me. My new team was nice to me, so everything was not that bad. But after a couple weeks, they didn't hug me anymore, they didn't even talk to me anymore, they just ignored me. And if they said something it was stuff like
Hey you are ugly
Hey you are fat
BWeh I thought you were gone but I still have to see you everytime.
What the fuck are you doing here you don't belong here.
We're happy that you're gone and not someone else.
They posted pictures on social media without me and said, Best team EVER! Love you!!!

It made me feel sad, alone and ugly. I also started to believed it. I missed them, I still do. I miss the old them, when they looked against me and not looked down at me.
One day my new team and I played a game against my old team without me. At one point, a girl from my old team could no longer take part of it cause she fell, so I played in their team in her place. My team had one player more so it was right. They all started to say the things I just told you they say. At the end they said I was too bad for them and that I've always been and that their new captain a much better one is than I was.
That day lay in tears in bed all night. I always was a strong girl, I was the one who cried last if she had pain or she was sad, I never showed it when I was sad. I didn't have to cause I was always happy. Even the girls on school started to look for me during the breaks, and say stupid things to me. My new team thought I chose my old team above them. So they still were nice, but they saw me in a different light. I came home from school or training crying many more times. I became quiter. I didn't had that flame in my eyes anymore. As soon as I was alone, I started to feel sad and cried a lot, had trouble sleeping and to concentrate. People asked me many times if something was wrong. I always smiled and said no. I am so tired of fake smiles. And fake friends. And fake no's.

When I'm sad, I call it black. I get black more and more. I used to hate being alone, listen to happy music, laugh to everyone and everything. I now love being alone, listen to sad music, just sitting on the floor, staring to nothing.


Thank you.