The upside down of life

Atara

I was young and afraid but as a fifteen year old, the last thing I expect to feel was despondence. Due to the fact I worked as a horse caretaker for an aristocrat and his family, the commoners took pity on me. At first, I thought I knew what went in their heads but never understood the depths of it until the storming of Bastille and when all of the aristocrats were taken captive. However, before some of the aristocrats were taken captive, a bunch of them were taken out from their comfy homes and shot in public. The ones responsible for their deaths were people randomly taken from the crowd and forced to hold a gun and shoot lives that were as equal as theirs.

The day before my master, Lord Jacob, and his wife, Lady Maria, and two children were taken. I was in the stables having a nice cup of tea, which was stolen from the kitchen and served to me by the help of Lia, my master's youngest daughter. She was the most enchanting being I met in my entire life, her eyes as rich as the soil and brown hair as smooth and clean as the horses I tended to came secondary to her heart which reached out to me and mesmerized my whole entire world. She was only a year younger than me and a little bit more generous than the rest of her family but that was what made me worried the most.

Her naivety makes her suitors lustful for her and if it wasn't for me or that's how I would like to believe, she would have silently submitted to her mother's request and serve as another spoiled aristocrat's shadow for the rest of her life,

"Are you still starving?" she asked me as I longingly stared at the empty cup. We were sitting on haystacks in our night wears but mine was added with a thin sheet of her blanket, she had when she was four and which wrapped me up safe and sound. I shook my head in response and place her feeble fair hand between my coarse palms,

"Lady Lia.....,"

"Lia is my name," she interrupted me with her gentle voice and leaned in closer, an action that made my heart twitched, "and that's what you should only call me when we're alone,"

"Lia....," the word lovingly slipped out of my lips, "....I know it's not in my position to utter these words. Let alone, have these feelings for......," The next few seconds were a blur to me. The next thing I could recall was my eyes willingly shutting while returning and acknowledging a passionate kiss given by the lady, who turned my world upside down in just one simple act of making my heart falter to hers.

However, in this world. It's always 'give and take', she turned my world upside down and now I have to turn hers. Tears crawled out of my eyes as life gave me the only and most painful option of doing that deed, my hands shivered even more as I realized the aristocrat in display infront of me. Other commoners, who were unfairly chosen to shoot the aristocrats on sight despite their age eagerly pulled the trigger in satisfaction. My heart though was not aligned to theirs as the aristocrat I have to shoot was Lia herself.

She was all tied up with a rope, her clothes bedraggled and ripped from the beatings she received, her hair not losing its beautiful color but its neatness and her eyes were full of grief and not the joy that I fell in love with. Who could you blame though? The members of her family are going to meet the same faith as hers but hers is undone by the very man she loves,

"SHOOT HER!!!" the crowd encouraged me to do so, "SHOOT HER!!!" My mind lost itself and my hands loosen its grip, causing the pistol to slip half-way through my fingers. 'I can't,' my heart whispered to me, 'I just can't'. I met with her eyes and shook my head, the amount of tears she possessed didn't even compare to mine one bit, "SHOOT HER YOU LAZY BUMP!!! SHOOT HER!!!" My right foot took a step back, it was ready to make the choice of running away. It was ready to make the choice of not doing the deed she did for me.

'I couldn't protect her and she's going to die anyway so at least, let me not be the person who would end her.' That's what was going through my mind but fate had different plans,

"Do it," my heart felt as if it stopped. I tilted my chin upward to see if my ears truly heard the words, "do it." Lia's lips didn't even hesitate to say the word, tears were still pouring but I could tell that.....she was ready. 'But I can't lose you', my mind tried to take in the words she spoke while my eyes searched for people who were eager to end this in my stead,

"I want you to do it," my eyes flicked to hers and she nodded her head, "in this way I won't hold any grudges against my killer,"

"What?" I took a step forward,

"Because I......," she mouthed the words in fear my life would be in great danger, " 'love you' "

If I turned back at that moment or even hesitated, someone else would do the deed and her last wish wouldn't be fulfilled. So, with my most sincere heart, I shot her and aimed for her head so she could die painlessly. 'I'm sorry.....,' that was the only thought I had until this day while standing infront of the only grave that was made for an aristocrat, 'I'm sorry......'

I didn't want to say bye, I couldn't afford to because I knew that if I did......then it also meant accepting that she's gone forever....and no one's there by my side to accompany me in that stable, where nothing else is there but fire.