One-Sided Love

Caleb Jackson

It started over the summer of 2017, A boy met this girl at a party a friend of his mother was hosting. She was cute and she was very quite, she eventually started talking to him after he was playing around with the small children. He found out her name and age, turned out she was a few years younger than him. That night when he was in the car driving home, he thought about her through out that car ride and the rest of the night. A few days, her mother came over to ask him and his sister to come to their house and play with the girl and her little sister. This happened throughout the summer, eventually school started again and he was starting his junior year in high school.

One morning he was working on a project and saw her class go by his classroom, that day was the day her class was going to have a tour of the school. Around February the boy was attending a birthday party and the girl arrived, throughout that night, both of them talked and played around. He found out that night that the girl had a crush on him when they met at that party over the summer. A few days later, she came over to his house and they talked and joked around before she left. That night, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. After that night, they started texting each other everyday and stayed up late at night. Eventually the girl confessed to him that she had feelings for him, he was shocked and extremely nervous. He didn’t know what to say, a few months back, the girl he had been crushing on for years got a boyfriend, her boyfriend was a friend of his. Eventually she asked him out and he said yes, not out of pity, but out of how much he cared about her. Not long after, her friends started bombarding him with questions, he didn’t mind because they were his girlfriend’s friends. They weren’t able to hang out much, the boy couldn’t drive and she didn’t live within walking distance. When they had the chance, the boy felt happy for the first time in a long time, she made him feel happy and he loved her with all of his heart.

Though her friend thought he was cheesy, he meant every word he told her. She always called herself “Ugly”, “Stupid”, “Undeserving”, “Bratty” and more, but he always told her he never saw her that way. He told her it didn’t matter what she said she was or what she said about herself, he would always love her because she was always herself. As everyday passed, his love for her grew bigger and bigger and he really thought she was the one. He worked harder and took better care of himself because he never wanted her to worry about him. They shared their dreams, thoughts on the future, and more with each other. Her friend always asked him weird questions about the relationship, and he always answered honestly. He woke up every morning and told her “Good Morning”, he went to bed every night telling her “Good Night”. She was never off his mind, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Months went by, he loved her more than ever but she started talking to him less. He didn’t mind, he didn’t want to suffocate her. She started ignoring a few things he said, but he looked passed it because her friends and her were always talking.

Mother’s Day came around, he woke up and said “Good morning!” like he always had for the past few months, but got a text from her friend asking him about what he would do if him and his girlfriend were to break up. He answered honestly and she continued with questions on that subject. After a while, she told him “She might be breaking up with you soon, just a heads up”. He read that and his face dropped. She told him that his girlfriend found him to be too nice and cheesy for her and it was too much. He couldn’t understand, he didn’t know why. Her friend told him that his girlfriend wanted someone more mature. He was hit with waves of emotions, he went to church with nothing but that conversation in his mind. He didn’t know what to think, he got on his knees and prayed for it to be a joke. As he got home, he had a short conversation with his girlfriend

Boy- Hey, I heard there was something you wanted to talk to me about.

Girl- Yeah...

Boy- Well, whatever you have to say, go ahead, I’m listening.

Girl- Listen, I’m being completely blunt here, but I don’t think this relationship is working out.

Boy- I know, I heard from [Friend’s Name]

Girl- oh, I’ll talk to her later about this, but I’m talking to you rn

Boy- if that’s all you have you say, ok I understand

Girl- Are you sure? You’re ok with this?

Boy- Thank you. Thank you for that small time of relief. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine after a while.

Girl- Ok

The next day, he asked her if she was ok and told her that even though they couldn’t be a couple anymore, they could still be friends. He got a text later from her friend telling him that she didn’t love him or wanted anything to do with him anymore. He was heartbroken, he still really loved her and she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. He spiraled into depression and he cried from time to time, every time someone mentioned her name, he fought back the tears. He told her he was fine but he lied, he didn’t want her to get back with him because of pity. He questioned if she ever really loved or cared about him, he thought if she cared about the relationship at all, she would’ve tried to work it out and talk to him, instead of just leaving. His was never really the same after the breakup, He smiled less, woke up feeling like he had no purpose, put on a fake smile everyday at school, laughing wasn’t really the same, and became very void of emotions. The breakup broke him mentally, he wasn’t really ever happy, sad, or angry. One day he asked a close friend “Which is worse, feeling sad or feeling nothing after a sad event?”. His friend told him that feeling nothing was worse, he thought the same. I wished every night she could’ve told me everything herself, maybe I wouldn’t be in so much pain. I still love her and still can’t stop thinking about her. My only sin was loving too much. If you ever read this, I’m so sorry.