London love story

dawood

I was in a foreign country in my 6th semester of university . I get a facebook friend request and after much scepticism i went on to the bring it on mode.(accepted it)

She was a beautiful girl , just like i always dreamt . I told her later too that she was my dream girl . The messenger texts turned into phone calls and phone calls turned into video calls. The night seemed to pass by in mins while talking to her on phone and then the normal schedule continued the rest of the day . She would call before exams and give good luck kisses which i believed to work somehow. Well she lived in a different country so 5 months into talking i flew to her country of residence and we met . It felt like an achievement . Just there I saw a fast food restaurant and couldn't stop the hunger i had for her and the burger . We ate and we kissed and full blown affair started . i was with her for an entire month after extending my return ticket and it was marvelous. I got back to my foreign country and I was out of school that semester because of the trip i made to her . Vowing to take summer classes and get back in full action mode of studies. I had left a good old friend in her country of residence( texas holdem- NL poker ) and it was very kind to me there . i quickly made an online account on a site that turned out to be full of scams . In meantime while trying to get rich quick i dedicated my time to the game including some pot(wee) and liquor occasionally.

Those 5 months were nothing short of misery because i had lost all my money or let me call it gambled away ($30k) . I return back to school and there was no way i was studying here , i said . i was missing her and was brain fogged. I went into severe depression and after a night of drinking i called family back home to send me one way ticket to my mother country or homeland( Pak) . i was home after a year and half and was delighted to see family. Much to my notice they were not proud of what i had made of myself . Little did they know about my affair and the trip i took to hers . Well luck struck to my side and i convinced family to send me to study to her country of residence .
Dream come true for me . We finally met after a year and could not be more happy to see each other . i was in that country for a year and managed to fail my last semester . You heard it right , i did not graduate and left 2 courses failed . I found this out when i was back home to my country of residence assuming i will be celebrating my graduation via degree mailed . Nothing went according to plan . i got a job at a bank, hardly paying any money and she and i were full blown to get married the current year. Since we belonged to the same racial and ethnic background she convinced her mom to visit my country (also hers but they were expatriates) .Our families met and the first time i realised my family wasn't that simple that i always assumed they were . There were a lot of ups and down while her visit lasted and finally her mom decided not to get us married . In few days she got engaged to another man in my country , obviously arranged by her parents . i had completely lost it by then and was on substance abuse . we met one last time after she got engaged and it was over . She flew back to her country of residence and i stayed at mine . i had lost it . Full blown substance abuse , alcohol and cigarettes . i had nearly lost 40 pounds in 2 months . While i was suffering with my breakup , the heart was still in denial . She called me to ask how i was and i couldn't stop crying over the phone . In meantime my alcohol abuse had led me to be very violent and getting into a lot of trouble . I was regularly getting into bloody fights and beating people even with the shortest eye balling . i needed help and my parents realised it . My family took me to a well established psychiatrist who diagnosed me to be bipolar . He put me on medications for three months after my parents rejected the idea of leaving me in the psychiatric ward . Mostly i used to sleep and take medications and eat and sleep and smoke cigarettes . Longest time i had not touched alcohol or any sleeping pill. Months passed by and i was getting better while talking to my ex gf over the phone occasionally. My father wanted me to settle down and he decided to invest in a food venture that i can take care of . IT took us 6 months to construct the diner and we launched it full blown . i was gifted a luxurious car , top of the line and i could not be more happier . The business was running and i was making money .Few months down the line i was talking to my ex and she said that i won't hear from her for a few days as she going out of the country . It was the third day when i had not talked to her and i received a call from a familiar number. It was her and she was in my country . we quickly met in an hour and i was at her home by that night for a meet and greet . we talked on her green lawn (inside her house, yes she still owns a house in my country ). I dont know how but i randomly started taking pictures with her to which she opposed . i was out to my home that night and insisted on meeting her again . Little did i know she was there to finalise her wedding dresses and prepare for a full blown wedding festival ( some cultures have multiple parties for a wedding). I got drunk the other night and went outside her house and kept banging her door since she would not open . She came outside her front door still behind her fenced gate with extreme nerves and she said “ go from here , i am a married women now” . My heart shattered , tears started pouring because i still thought she would break the engagement and marry me. Well i requested her to shake my hand one last time from behind the fenced gate to which she harshly rejected and asked me to leave . i left and went home , told everything to my mother and cried my balls out .( not good when you are drunk and in love , either cry with rage or fight). I got extremely upset and decided to not care anymore and go for a vacation to another country where my cousin/brother lived. Before i left i sent all her texts of the current trip with the pictures i took at her house to her fiance , hoping to make her look bad . i flew to my cousin and within days i am enjoying my life again. I get a text from her fiance “ handle your bitch “.That day Someone called me and said their engagement got called off and i was the happiest person alive . i still cherish that day . she emailed me after a few days while i was with my cousin enjoying my life out and once again we started talking . I go back to my country of residence and start plans to sell the business since we were moving to United states of America. Now it is 2013 going to 2014 . I currently live here. I don't know how to say but she had few siblings all living in states and in the same city as i was gonna live in . We started talking while i was in states and she decided to see her siblings and of course me . Life is good again . we meet and express our love to each other and she meets my parents again with a commitment to get married soon . Now she has left states and i am wanting to go to her country of residence to get married to her . In all those times of substance abuse and alcohol , i had developed a severe anemia and anxiety problems . topping on the ice was i had no health insurance . After she left states i was destined to go to her country with my mom and do the wedding in a traditional but simple way . The twist came when one night i went out and enjoyed myself only to realise i broke both my feets while jumping from a gate to the pool . I was bedridden for two months and all the bills were accumulating . I had left my job and was drinking heavily again . she was frustrated and cries everytime she called . I was not giving attention to her and she seemed to notice it . She called my parents and asked about our wedding to which my mom had a very cold reply and my ex took it offensively . Her mom called my mom the next day and rejected the proposal again and said they were not interested anymore. I tried contacting her but she was cold , so cold that i had not seen her like that before. She wanted to forget me . In a few days after my fail attempts of getting her back , my aunt called to let me know that she was getting married to another guy in states and in the same city i lived in . I could not believe my destiny . I immediately booked air tickets to her country of residence to meet her and was to fly the next day . I mistakenly sent her the air ticket pictures . As i got ready to leave and waited for my ride to the airport someone called me . It was her father . He insisted not to come and that their decision was not gonna change. I was stubborn and did not want to listen but then something occurred to me that she might not even be in that country . She might be in states , very close to where i lived , lived her siblings as well . I called and canceled my air tickets and hotel reservations , left the bag and came back in to my house . I think i had accepted defeat by then , not on face but in heart. In matter of time i saw her facebook and she was engaged to the guy . In a matter of days she was religiously her bride now . Everything shattered, it hurt real bad . It was me and my old friend again (alcohol). Drinking myself to death .

I travelled back to homeland after a year to visit extended family . I heard she has a baby now . I am writing this story after 3 years of the date it happened and even though we live in same city i never ran close by her . I changed my life , at least tried to in these 3 years . I got in good shape , good career , no smoking and rarely i meet with my old friend now . I am 30 years old now . it all started when i was 21 and it ended when i was 27 . I am not blaming anything on her but life has given me many lessons . If you love someone and truly want to be with them , pursue them aggressively or leave the blanks open for someone else . This scar might never go away and truly i don't want it to go away . it always make me realise how not to make stupid life decisions. I have dated several girls after her but i am unable to fall in love with anyone( i dated girls that were 9 or more so 10). In the end I would like to dedicated a poem to her. It is not original and i have changed some words of it .

If tears could make a stairway and memory a lane
I would walk up to you and bring you home again

No GOODBYES said , No farewells were made
I don't know why but you were gone before i knew it

My heart still aches with pain and silent tears flow
No one can ever know , in how much suffering i still glowed

If we meet again in the run of life , i shall stare you until the end of time
Life is temporary, the real beginnings are on the other side!
Left by god , loved by you , i swear to be crucified once again for you .


Lots of love !
I have not named the country where i was studying but the two other can be guessed.