Biology (Humor)

Elise Harvey

It started as a normal year.
My freshman year of high school.
I made two new friends that year. Let's just call them... Angelica and Xiemma.
We had a blast. The first half of my freshman year was pretty fun. (I had another crush but he's a different story)
And then I met you.
You had just transferred high schools. You were the new kid. And boy, were you shy.
But you made friends. Just like me.
I remember meeting you for the first time. I was talking to Xiemma by my locker. Some kid tripped, and dropped his biology???? binder.
Without thinking, I reached down to pick it up.
Then I looked up to give it to him... and he was you. I nearly screamed. Damn,you were hot.
You jumped back when you saw me too. Looking back on it, you probably jumped back because I recoiled from you like you had the zit the size of a Dorito on your forehead. But at that time, I thought it meant true love.
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.
I looked up at Xiemma, and she was staring at me with another one of her "Oh snap, you talked to a boy!" looks.
Like, seriously. I ask a boy to borrow a pencil, I get the look. I bump into a boy, I get the look.
That was one of the only discovered bad qualities of Xiemma at that time.
Two weeks later, I tell Angelica and Xiemma about my little "Thing" for you.
One second later, they are threatening to tell you. And as you know, long story short, they did.
They did it in front of me.

It just happened to be biology???? class.
Angelica and Xiemma came in the door. I was busy fiddling with my sneaker, and failed to notice, that instead of sitting with me, they sat on either sides of you.
I also failed to notice Xiemma tapping you on the shoulder.
I only realized what you had done when I heard Angelica's sticky voice saying three words I had been preventing from exiting her mouth for a long time.
"Joannaleia likes you."
My heart shriveled up and faded to dust like meh boi spider man in the "Infinity War".
"Who?" You said.
They screamed my name about ten thousand more times, making sure everyone in the entire classroom EXCEPT you hears.
Finally, Angelica gives up. "Jo. Jo likes you."
"Jo?" You say. You turn around, and ****, your face and my face are inches apart. Amazing.
And then, you say something I never thought you would say.
"Hi."
And then the frickin bell rings. I hate my life.
I could have stayed and talked. Started a conversation or something, but I'm Joannaleia (JO-HAN-EH-LEY-A) Prince, and I am an official screw up.
So I bolt out of there like the flash on coffee.
We never talked again.

So, recently, I searched you up on Instagram. You have a wife. and kids. at the age of twenty-five. Congrats.
Believe it or not, i did NOT blame this accident on Angelica or Xiemma. Well, that much.
Angelica is still my friend, and married a few weeks ago. (Angie, If you know who you are, Congratz again!)
Ye, I was a bridesmaid. It was fun. very fun. Anyway, what was I talking about? oh yeah.
I really have to blame myself for this. I wasn't paying attention to my friends. I didn't say hi back. Oh, and also, congrats on your new job. A biology???? professor.
I swear I am cursed with biology.