love is complicated

marrisa

This is a complicated story about ? in my whole life ..
My name is marrisa ,I had a boyfriend(call him adam) and I ? him so much ..really ,really ? him ..till' I met someone who makes me feel like a prety damn stupid ..
I met him when i was on a date with my boyfriend ..(He was my bf friends)
First impression : nothing's special,but I knew when he starring at me, that he may ? me ..
Days 2 : o my gosh ,he's so silly ..
Days 3 : still no feeling ,but I began to think he's cute ..
Days 4 : we met in chat ,,haha ..he's so funny .at least he makes me smile when I felt so bored ..
Days 5 : wooow ,I'm so happy with my bf he makes me know how much he loved me .. I ? u adam .... But ,when I goin to chat with my friends he buzz me on YM .. And we start to chat again ..
Adam : hi beauty ..
Me : hi ,u !!
Adam : what u doin ?
Me : just chat with u ..
Adam : just with me ? Wow I'm impressed ..:D me : haha
Adam : don't u chat with ur boyfriend too,do you ?
Me : haha ,I'm not .. He called me ..
Adam : how long have u been in touch ,in relationship with him ?
Me : almost 3 years .. Why ??
Don't u have a gf ??
Adam : no I don't have any girl .. 3 years hah ?!! Wow ,,u such a good girl .I loved to meet someone like u ..
(And bla .. Bla ..bla ..)
Days 6 : I'm not chat with him .. And I feel so miss him ..deep inside my heart just asked ,where is him ??
Days 7 : chat again ... And I feel so happy ,u know why ?? He calling me when we finished the chat ..
Days 8 : he say that he ? me .. I'm glad ,but I sad in another side ..because still have someone who really loved me ..*confused*
Day 9 : I still say nothing about his feeling ,when he asked about my feeling to him .."Do you ? me too ,don't u ?"
Day 10 : I quarrel with my boyfriend ,I'm crying .. I felt not good ,not well and very hurt about his behavior ..
Day 11 : he said ,u have to cooling he down ..
I know u can do it because u ? him ..
Day 12 : I was so happy to had a friend like him .. But I began to ? him I thought ..
Day 13 - 15 : no communication with him .
Day 16 : I really stress ,he urged me to answer his questions or he gotta go .
Day 17 : I met him to talk more about it ,,I just silent ,still said nothing ..just kiss him ..he was surprised .. :O
Day 18 : we have silent one another .
Day 19 : I have a good news for him ,, but not really for me because it means I try to be unfaithful .. I said I ? him ,and I consider him as my bf too .
Day 20 : we just started like a couple ..
Day 21-23 : I spend my time with adam .. I was so happy ..
Day 24 : I met him ,,and spend time with him ..he kissed me ,hug me and I just cherrish every hug .. I kiss him back ,and he said that he really ..really ? me ..I was so happy too ..
Day 25 - 27 : I just stayed at home .. And thought about everything ,blaming my self ..
Day 28 : he asked me to marry him .. Oh my god ,don't do this to me .. U know ,my bf asked me to marry him too ...
God ,please I don't want this feeling .. I ? him ,buat I ? adam too ..
Day 29 : he want me to choose ,,and finally I choose him as only bf ..
Day 30 : I have to admit somethin .. I'm not broke up with my bf ,but I really goin so far from his life ..
Day 31-35 : I quirrel with him ,because I had a litle communication with adam .. He was so jealous ..
Days 36 : I appologize him , I just say sorry ,I was wrong about everything ..u know why ? Its because I won't lose him .I ? him so mch ...
Days 37 : I ? this day .. He makes me know how much he loved me ..
Days 38 : we're broke up .... Its like the end of the day for me ...and I just crying every whole night from this day ..
Till I meet adam again ,,u know what he do ?
He asking me ,why u loved him more than u ? me ?? I loved u and always loving u in my whole life since I met u at the first ?!! Why him ? Why ..why ..
And he cried front of me .. I awake from my dream with him now .. I know ,that adam is the only one who really ? me ..
He asked me to be his gf anymore ..our ? is trust ,and I felt like take a gun and put it to his head .. I feel really guilty ,and I promise will not doin this anymore ..
But deep inside my heart ,I just still loving DANNY ..
I really loving him ,,knew him in 38 days makes me loving him forever ..
I just want him to know that I really loved him ,please don't hate me for any reason cz I knew deep inside your heart u still lovin' me too ..