story that has no ending

kea

Hi I'm L, and this is my story that doesn't have an ending.

It all started at my grand-uncle's wedding anniversary. I was a member of his entourage. I don'e have a partner, so my aunt said that my partner would be Chase. Chase is the niece of grand-uncle's wife. Chase and I already met, we even play basketball back then. And i don't like him, not until, the wedding anniversary. After that weeding, i already had a secret crush on him. Years have past, and whenever i see him, my cousins would just tease me. They would say that Chase has a crush on me.

December 31, I was on vacation at my cousins house. I've been friends with Chase's friends, but i never had the guts to talk to him. His friends asked for my cellphone number and i gave it to them, hoping that Chase would text me. they wrote my number on a 20 peso bill.

January, I was already at our house, my phone's charger was broken and battery is almost dead. When suddenly someone texted me saying "hi ate L." I replied asking who is it, i even tried calling that person, but he doesn't answer. then finally he replied saying that he was Chase. I felt so excited and happy that i ran at the nearest cellphone store to buy a new charger. That's were it all started.

days, weeks, and even month passes by. we've been textmates and we even call each other every night. All of his friends were already teasing him, they said that after he got my number, he bought a new sim card and asked for a phone from his parents.

It was his birthday, and unexpectedly my mom told us that we will be spending the night at my cousin's house: Chase was their neighbor. He bought me some junk foods and softdrinks. His friends tease him saying "wow naglabas ng pera, ngaun ka lng nanlibre ah." I felt so special whenever I'm with him.

4th year HS.
we joined an inter-school competition,after the competition, i went at Mcdonalds to meet Chase. That was our first date, we hardly talked to each other, we just look into each others eyes and smile. he hold my hand and i felt those stupid butterflies in my stomach.

college..
finally we were in a relationship, though its not official but we both know that his my boyfriend and I'm his girlfriend, that we love each other so dearly.we always see each other after my class, and he often times skip classes just to be with me.

whenever i want someone to be with, i would just text or call him, and he will be there right away, he would abandon anything just to be with me. that's how special i was to him.

he would even tie my shoes at the mall, and whenever i feel like playing hide and sick, i would leave him at the mall, and then he knows exactly where to find me.

he is not sweet nor gentle. he doesn't speak to much. but i know he loves me and his doing everything he knows just to take care of me. he even cried in front of me when he hurt me so badly.he cried asking for an apology, he cried because he hurt me, and sometimes he cried because i hurt him.he is not the kind of guy who actually cries, i'm the only person that could make him cry. even his closest friends could not picture him out crying. and that's how he loves me. he is willing to change, he let me to be part of his life, he let me see his soft side. he open his heat for me.

Summer
my cousin lost my phone, it was the only connection that we have. since my parents and some of my relatives doesn't like him. so the only connection that we had is the internet and telephone, in which i could not use every time. he felt that i don't have time for him.

June
i had new set of blockmates, i was in the point of adjusting. And I admit, i don't have time for him.

...
I saw a text message from his phone saying "hon." i got the number of that person and started texting her, asking things like if Chase and her were in a relationship. the girl admitted that Chase is her boyfriend though they haven't seen each other in person. i felt cheated, i was so hurt. i just cry and cry and cry. then i told Chase that there's no more us. that he could move on with his girlfriend. he then went to see me and asked for forgiveness, oh how i love him so much that with just one kiss i already forgave him already.

one day...
he broke up with me. he said he was tired and all that. i don't want to lose him. i went to his school and texted him, asking where he was and that i'm waiting in front of his school. he then said that he was on his way home that i should go home too. he never see me since then, and i was so hurt. then one day i had a hunch that he already had a girlfriend and that it was one of my best pal. so i asked him if he already has a new girlfriend, and if it was my friend, Jane. He said no, and i wanted to believe him but i really had this bad feeling that he was just lying.

another one day...
Jane viewed me from his friendster account and i was so mystified that i checked her account, and there i saw her pictures holding a paper saying mrs. Chase. i was so hurt, and then i cried. once again i asked Chase if Jane and him were in a relationship. he said yes, i asked him since when? he said Oct. 1. in my mind i was like what the f*ck we just broke up back then. not even a week a have past and you already have a new girlfriend!!!! i collected myself and ask him why??and how?and why her? he said to me "because i knew she likes me, i had a better chance."

Chase and Jane in a relationship.
I was stranded at some place near Chases's house. i was feeling very sick that day. and texted his friends: whom became my friends, that if they could pick me up. they gave me Chase's number and told me to text him. having no other choice i texted him. asking if he could fetch me. right away, like before, he came with his white car and fetch me. his always been like that, my knight-in-shining-armor. even though his in a relationship with some other girl, he still cares for me, we still hug and kiss each other. i often times tease him and say harsh words to him in front of his friends. that was like my revenge to him for hurting me. and as my knight, he just accepted those harsh words.

alone in the car with Chase.
L: do you love Jane?
Chase: I don't know.
L: do you love me?
Chase: yes!
L:whom do you love more, me or Jane?
Chase: you?
L: then broke up with her and let's start all over again!
Chase: i can't.
L:why not? you said you love me more than her.
Chase: because she didn't do anything.she didn't hurt me. and i don't want to hurt her.
L: and it's okay for you to hurt me, the person that you love, instead of her!

after that conversation, i started moving on. i became a different person, i became bitch, i drink, i smoke cigar and sometimes weed. i kissed a lot of guys. then i had one serious boyfriend.

September hurricane ketsana
He texted me.
Chase: where were you. go home already, are you okay? you might get stranded so go home.
L: who are you?<he changed his numbers>
Chase: secret!
L: ohh,, i know you. why do you care. I'm at my boyfriends house!
Chase: stop fooling me L, we both know that you don't have a boyfriend.
L: k.

January
my whole family spent our new years eve at Chase's house. days have past we went to a club. it's like we still love each other.
L: what if i told you that i won't broke up with my boyfriend but i also want you?
Chase: it fine. "basta siya ung kabet"
L: give me 1 year, James and I will brake up, just wait for me.
Chase: lets see.

i am decided that i would leave my new boyfriend.
conversation between me and my boyfriend.
L: i'm sorry but there is a thing between me and my ex. i will accept it if you want to brake up with me.
James: i won't brake up with you. it okay, just don't do it again.let's forget about it.

i was like what the hell did just happen. i was in between of choosing a guy who hurt me so many times and the guy i hurt so hard.so i chose James, i felt my conscience, that i could not leave him, not today.so i what i did is that i texted Chase.
L: leave me alone, i'm already having a good time, i already have a peaceful life and there you are again ruining everything. ( i cursed him in this message, i said a lot of painful words because in that way, he will move on and forget about me. i was crying when I'm texting him this message. and yeah he did move on)

one F*cking day came
i felt that i still love Chase, that i want him in my life that i really love James. that i should end it know. not because i wanted to be with Chase but because i don't love James as my boyfriend. and so i broke up with James. i went to see Chase but his avoiding me and he keeps on pushing me away.

he kept on saying that he doesn't love me anymore, that i should move on and I'm just hurting myself. maybe i was just hurting myself, but i would just fool myself if i will tell him that i don't love him anymore.

my knight..
he said he doesn't love me anymore, but he still took me home.

he said to his friends that he loves me but he doesn't want to get hurt. and he knows that if we would be together, we would end up fighting everyday.

i want to tell him that i already change, that i still love him that if still loves me he should fight for me.

my family doesn't like him, his family doesn't like me too.

and all i can do is to move on. he might not be the right guy for me, he might only be the guy who taught me a lot about love. and we were no meant for each other.