the love i never had

blanche

i met him through chat, it was during those times that i already given up my hope that finding real & true was just a mere fantasy. he was nice and sweet, a type of guy that could actually swept you off your feet. he has the looks, physique, intelligence and a character that no woman can refuse.

we decided to give it a try, i was emotionally broken that time,at first there was no connection, no spark at the first meeting though i cannot deny the fact that there was something mysterious about him, after that i never expected anything from him, cause i felt nothing special is going to happen.

but to my surprise he called me that night, telling me that he wanted to go out with me again and he also wants to know me better, so i said to my self why not give myself another chance hoping that this time might be my luck.

so as days pass by, we started treating each other special, we always go out on a date and spend time together, i started to build my world and dreams around him, hoping that this time i finally found the right person.

but there's one thing missing, he never told me that he loves me, though were exclusively dating he never told me what he really feels for me, so i though it was normal or it was based on his character he was actually a man of few words.

one day i asked him what he truly feels for me, even-though i was prepared for his answer, still it slowly killed me when he told me that he still doesn't feel anything for me, he likes me a lot and for him i was the most special girl in his life but he doesn't love me.

every night before i go to bed i would always cry my heart out because of that reality, but just like any other girl i was blindly in love with him, so what the heck I'll do my very best just to make him love me.

as months gone by i was still hoping that somehow he will learn to love me the way i want him to, but i guess we can never really teach the heart what to feel.

i woke up one day realizing that no matter what i do i can't have him love me. so for the last time i asked him where do i stand in his life, i got the most painful answer i was never expected to get from him. he told me that I'm just "a special friend" now everything was clear to me, no matter how long i stayed in his life he will never love me, because he was not trying to...

until now i was still crying for that love i never had, and silently hoping that one day he will find it in his heart to give my love a chance...

i don't know if i will be able to love again...

all i know is his my life and my world still revolves around him...