undestined love...

svetlana....

people reading this story may think that its not right and i understand that too....but that did not stop me from falling in love with one of my students.

i was 25 years old when i started teaching in high school. i was teaching Ukrainian language. it was my first year teaching in high school and i was very nerves. when i applied for the job, they told me the same thing that i was "young and unexperienced." but since they really need the teacher, they hired me. the first day a group of boy walked in loud giving each other high-fives and laughing. i told them couple of times to take there seats as i was standing in front of the room waiting for everyone to arrive. as i said it the 3rd time one of the guys looked at me and he continued to stare and i could see surprise and some other feelings on his face, then he looked at the other boys and told them to take their seats. i felt kinda embarrassed from the way he looked at me.
as later i found out his name was landon.a senior having to take foreign language to graduate. landon was a head of the boys swimming team, very handsome. he had girls all over him. that first week i started to feel like i was treating him differently. he was kinda serious, an though girls in class where all over him he did not pay attention to them and it surprised me.it was about 2 mounts into the school. one day he was absent on the day we had a test, so he had to make it up.coming after school to my class i gave him the test. for about 15 minuets he sat quit,working. then he looked at me, i asked what was wrong, and his answer i can still remember the shok i got from it. "miss.s, dosent it bother you that the guys talk to you that way." for a minuet i could not answer then i said "what way," and he said, "the jokes they make." the guys in class did always jock with me that i was to pretty to be a teacher. i wont say im really pretty but i can tell that i am pretty attractive and i was a lot different from other teachers. not only i was the youngest, i dressed differently too. i got my suits and all clothes for school from ann-tailors. i answered saying "they dont mean it and i dont mind it, i know they are just fooling around." we continued to talk for sometime and then i remembered he still had the test and i said "finish your test, its getting late." landon just smiled and said,"im done." "really" i asked in surprise. he got a 100 on it. after that day he starting to come after school for additional help saying he needs more help. he would be the last to leave and we would often leave together to the parking lot. we talked about many things, joking around. after that day his friends, the guys in the class, did not joke around with me as much. some time passed and one day i got a phone call from the office, that there is something for me and if i would send a student or two to pick it up. i said yes and picked a girl and a boy. a girl walked minuets later all smiling and telling me to lose my eyes. i argued for some time then o agreed and i heard "bring it in." and "open your eyes." and also "wows,ohh." when i opened my eyes there was a huge buque of red roses. at that time i felt like there was probably 50, but it was 26 as for i became 26. there was ae envelope on top and when i opened it i recognized landons hand writing right away. i blushed and when i looked at him i saw that he was smiling and be winked at me. he stayed after class.'happy birthday miss.s" i blushed again and said "why did you do it?" "because its your birthday." he started to walk to the door and i asked "why to school?" he turned around and i saw a smirk on his face and he said, "wanted to assure the guys that you already have someone." and left the room. time passed, he came to my after school classes and we would talk. i new it was wrong but i could not stop my self and when i told him to stop coming because he did not need any additional help he said, "but i need you." somehow he got my cell phone number and started texting me. it would be that i would have him in the class and if there were more students he would text me. one time i burst into loud laughter when he texted me something funny, the students looked at me funnily.soon he asked me on a date and i said yes. we went out of town for ice skating and that was when he first kissed me. all the fun playing around did not last long.soon the students started talking about us. one guy said i was "i treated landon differently." and more rumors started to flow around campus. we had some hard times an then i went to the principle and i told her everything, and she only answered me "thats what i was fearing of. i didnt want to hire you not because of your unexperienced but because you are so young." she said that maybe there is a way to solve it. landon got switched out of my class. his friends and not just, started looking at me funnily. he tried to talk to me. it created scenes and then more and more rumors started to be created. i didnt know what to do. there was a meeting and before the school bored told me themselves that i should quit, i just said it in the 5 minutes of the meeting that i would quit and though its not good to leave the school without an right away replacement, it would be the best choice. they right away ushered me that there will not be problems and they will find someone and not to worried about anything, i expected that kind of answer. some of my friends teachers had tears in their eyes and i also felt like crying. i left right away. i got a good recommendation, but the principle as a friend told me to probably start teaching from middle school and later move up. i just smiled at her and she gave me a hug and started crying saying how life was not fair. in two weeks i moved away. landon still tried contacting me. he left messages and i feeling like i was going to die just erased them not wanting to be influenced bu them and agree to meet him. after i left the landowner called me and said that there was a letter in my mail box for me. i gave her an address where to send it, and in 3 days i got it. it was a letter from landon. i opened it with my shaking hands and started reading. he kept saying that he loves me and that he will never love another person as much as he loves me for his heart is forever with me. he apologized for creating troubles for me and there was also a picture of us, smiling and all happy. i cried for days. i took the rest of the year for vocation and started working in the new school year in middle school. years past. i could not date any other man, when they started flirting with me i started turning cold. about 4 years passed and a friend was getting married and asked me to come back and be her maid of honor. i was really scared thinking that i might meet him. but i still went. shopping for a dresses one day a young girl about 22,23 came to ask us if need help. when i took a closer look at her i recognized her as one of my students. trying to remember her name i was looking at her and then she turned to me and with surprise said "miss.s?" i smiled and said "yes." we started talking about how life was for her and told her a little about myself. then there was an awkward silence and she said, "dont you want to ask about landon?" and looked at her and she continued. "after he got switched out, he was so distressed wanting to talk to you and asking us to gave you letters, but you took 2 days off and then we heard that you quit. he ran to your class when he heard that you were at school and when he did not find you there he ran to the office but there also he did not find you. the look on his face when he was standing there in the office, i dont think ill ever forget it. days passed he did not come to school o lot and one day some guys started talking about you some shit, he jumped up and beat the the kind some much....it was so scary seeing him like that. after the fight he got kicked off the swimming team. he didnt do any work. the only thing that saved him was that before he took the hardest classes and had all his credits and perfect gpa. we graduated and i started hearing that he enrolled into the army. before that during the summer he was everywhere parting and stuff. he became a total playboy. a half year ago news came that he was killed in Irec.he became really engaged in the whole army thing and was making quit a career. the funeral was really big, everyone crying and saying that its hard to believe that he is gone. some talked about the two of you. one of his friend said that landon was right when one time he said that you are his first and last love." when the girl was done my cheeks were all in tires and hers also. i weeped for days and was depressed for weeks. my friend made me a favor by getting another maid of honor. and supported me a lot. two years have passed since i met that girl and sitting right now alone with 26 red roses and a picture i feel like i need to cry but no tiers come out. i feel so many regrets right now like not fighting for my love, not pertecting it like he tried to, i just gave up on him and our love. and tiers started to run down my cheeks for i knew that i will never love again like i loved landon.