7th April -The Day That Changed My Life

anonymous

Its a true story. Its my story.From where should I begin I don't know but i want to write, express my feelings into words.
I remember the date i 1st saw her it was 7 April . 1st day of my class IX. I saw her for the first time. She was not so beautiful but her simple,helpful nature, simply touched my heart . I could not stop my self watching her whole day and on my way going to my home i realized it was nothing else then love. i used to think about her all day and each day i fell more in love with her . i was a poor student in studies , my nature was also not up to the mark.I wanted to change myself so that wen i propose to her she wont get any reason to reject me. Then started a phase of my life that changed me. I was studying hard to get good marks as she was a rank holder.i worked hard and in my terminals i got just 53% . I was not happy with my performance but i wanted to do better and i again started studying hard and this time i got 55 %. Which was far below then what she got 73%. I wanted to talk to her but i couldn't as all my classmates used to tease her.I didn't like that so i stopped talking to her in the class.I had confidence in my love . And how can i forget the day that was remarkable and most cherish-able day of my life. One day we friends were playing truth and dare a game where you have to answer any question truthfully or do a act.We all friends were playing and her turn came. C took truth ( to answer a question truthfully) . a girl asked her whom you like in our class . and guess what was the answer ? IT WAS Me .i was d happiest person on this planet that day. i was full of joy n now i was sure of what i need to do.Now we were in class X i used to sit next to her row but parallel to her. i used to see her every now and then and the feeling i got was just out of the world.Den one day when everyone was busy with there work we talked.It was nice talking to her. The conversation i cant forget in my whole life. Now i wanted to convey my feelings to her but didn't have the guts to say as i feared that if she say no what will i do. how will i take that no. you may say that it was my good fortune her good friend was my best friend.I told my best friend about d feelings i had for my love but my bestie told me that she will never say a yes to u. i ignored that .I wanted a yes at any cost i just wanted her.In d mean time my studies were going good i got 61% in my internals in class X but was still far behind her. i was planing to express my feelings to her. So i told my bestie to give her hint that i loved her. i wrote a love letter but never had guts to deliver it to her.i gave my bestie to give her d letter n wen she was about to give her letter, my bad luck came into d picture and her mother was with her so my bestie couldn't give d letter to her. My 1st attempt failed. Now valentine day was coming and i decided to propose to her but still didn't get the guts to speak my heart before her .So i made a master plan i decided that i will call my bestie on valentine day she would be in conference with my love but will not inform me about d conference and will ask me that who is my valentine and i will take her name so indirectly will propose her . The master plan was ready but it wasn't executed as i backed off the last minute. my another attempt failed. Now my final exams were coming and i really wanted to convey the feeling to her as after the final we may get apart and told my bestie to tell her directly and she did but my love didn't took it seriously and ignored the message my 3rd attempt also failed.
one day i was sitting back in my home thinking about her rather then preparing for my exams.THEN suddenly i realized that one of my promises that i made to myself was to come to her level in studies and i started preparing for the exam. I did good, got 84% n just missed my target that is her marks by just 2 %.I was happy with my performance but i knew its still a long way ahead. BUT my story took a flip in class XI it was my good fortune i got the opportunity to sit beside her with d help of my bestie. That 1 year was d most rememberable year of my life. all my friends used to bunk class but i used to sit beside her just to cherish each moments with her.Now i could touch her soft skin it was something i cant express in words .The touch was like heaven for me every day i could touch her, feel the warm of her hands and her body it was the best phase of my life.Now my internal exams were good i thought i would beat her n come to her level but failed in maths just because of 2 marks . That was the most painful day of my life.I didn't talk to anyone. i was really angry with myself .I was so close to her after working so hard for 6 months i missed my target just by 2 marks.After that incident there was a feast in our school and i got the golden opportunity to dance with her.This was the moment of my life although we danced for just 1 minutes but that 1 minute was enough to feel the warm of her body. 1st time i was so close to her.i wanted to dance more swim in the river of love with her.i just wanted her so close to me.But it was my bad luck my romance lasted just 1 minute. After the distraction i was again on my mission and did more hard work.And each day i was just more in love with her.And was always day dreaming about her and our future. I was in love with her madly now i wanted her to be in my arms share the same body warm .I wanted to walk with her hand in hand .I just wanted her to be my world .i wanted to tell her each day how much i loved her.How much i wanted her but my old fear always came to my mind if c say a no will i be able to take it . I didn't want to loose her at any cost. Each day i tried and each day i failed but still i was enjoying .Her company changed my attitude, her love changed me. i was no longer the same person which i used to be before 2 years. i loved her so much that no one could have imagined.Now again my exams were coming and this time i knew i m gonna crack my aim. Which i eventually did. Now c has got no reason to reject me that was my thinking. My holidays had started and i was missing her. And this time i wanted to propose her thinking she got no reason to decline me. My another friend was her best friend so i told him about my feeling for her which turn out to be the biggest mistake of my life . i regret that moment wen i told him about my feelings.He told about my feelings to my love and this time she took it seriously. My love knew i would never propose to her so she made a plan to take the words out of my mouth. She conveyed the message through her friends that she knew everything and was very depressed and all. So that i would come to her and speak my heart as she knew i could not see her getting depressed. And i went to her.She said me that she knew everything about my feelings but told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship and her family wont allow her to have a boyfriend.And how can c trust me as i could leave her any time. I got really hurt after listening to that sentence. How can c trust me ? i have been in love with her for past 4 years n still she doubts my love .she said she couldn't have a future with me . She couldn't go against her family for anyone . i was just anyone for her..And she was my everyone. That was the diff in reality. i was about to cry then came another blunder she told me that she made plan to take the words out of my mouth and she was not depressed n all. i was feeling like i was cheated. i felt that she played with my feelings. i couldn't believe how all things changed in just one day. i was lonely.i couldn't say anything more to her.And i had to face her each and every day in my class XII .And each day her face reminded me that i lost. I couldn't have her as my love. I lost it. And this loss i will never be able to recover!!..... i still remember that day 7th of April the 1st day when i saw her...!!!