Those 3 words.
Melissaa
12 Oct, 2010 07:16 AM
Well first of all, if you read my first story ;On the dance floor then you would understand how much this situation abit more, if not well.. lets just say a friendship was ruined, a heart shattered and regret all 'round on the dance floor that night.
Typing in my MSN password i was hoping only one name would pop on at the side of my screen saying 'he' is online.
There he was, online as always.
Jeremy was online.
I clicked his name, but stopped. Should I say hello first? Would i seem annoying? Or too obbsessed? Better leave it. I clicked the X and instead clicked on my best friends name.
Me-"YO MA NIGGAH! HOWS YOU KAAARMEN?!"
Karmen-"Hey hey ma homiee, pre good, you?"
Me- "Crap."
Karmen-"Jeremy. You need to get over him! Hes hurt you so many times! Its braking you into pieces mel!"
Me- "I just cant."
Well after a massive convo about him, incidentally he said hey mel, smiling i said hello babe! Now instead of asking how i was, or how my day was.. or anything else.. he had to ask "who do you fancy ?"
me- "Oh no one atm'
Jeremy- "Me ayee ;) "
me- "Yeaaa fully!" *If only you knew :/*
Well chris logged on, and well he was the kind of guy all the girls fell for and he had no clue.
Of course he said "MELISSAAAAAA! :)"
you just couldnt ignore his cuteness, after asking how i was, how my day was, if i had any problems.. (for some reason he really cared how i felt throughout the day :S)
He added karmen to the convo, i was like LOL jeremy thinks i 'fancy him'
of course karmen said well hes a stupid mut that doesnt even consider how you feel and well.. he has no clue how much you love him!
Chris was different i hate what hes done to you, you still love him, if i ever came face to face to him i would murder him
Karmen had to add him to the conversation.
After talking about cheese (Yeah we were that bored we talked about cheese :L )
Jeremy asked who chris was, and Chris's fast reply was "MELS BOYFRIEND MATE"
Karmen had to be like YEAAH
Jeremy instantly asked how old he was.
Chris & Karmen- 15!
Jeremy- so mels gone onto older guys now i see.
Me- UHM jeremy hes not that much older then me!
Karmen- jeremy you date younger girls then you aye
Me- Technically yeaah, he dated me derr :L
Jeremy- who ?
me- you!
now these next 3 words stopped my heart, i literally froze, and seconds later i cried so hard.
Jeremy- No. I. Never.
Chris went skits at him, karmen was so angry she could barely spell the words she was sending, but none of that seemed to matter because what he said, what he said was.. so painful i was in physical pain, literally couldn't breathe, every breath i took hurt, i cried so hard, harder then i have ever in my life, that i suddenly stopped and stopped breathing altogether.
All i could do was stare at the computer screen.
I left the convoy instantly and called karmen, i cried on the phone to her.
Chris- OMG are you ok melissa!
Me- yes..
Chris- No your not, what a stupid question, please stop crying, please?
Me- i cant, that hurt me so much.
Chris- Its ok, I love you.
Me- I love you too :)
Chris- Mel next time i see you, im gonna give you the biggest hug, and kiss you..
I froze.. Chris. Liked. Me.
WTF!
Me- ook.
FACEBOOK -
Jeremy kept trying to talk to me, he begged me to say at least one word, finally when i gathered my self i typed "WHAT?"
This next paragraph changed my whole life.
Jeremy- "Mel i was joking, i would never, ever, EVER, say something like that, i know you hate me, but you cant be upset, it was a joke! But who cares anymore.. i wont be able to speak to you in a couple weeks anyway."
Me- "what, what do you mean ?!"
Jeremy- "Im getting kicked out, im going somewhere else, i don't know where yet, but im leaving Woodridge, going far, far away."
Me- "OMG, no, please dont go.. jeremy, beg your parents.. please dont go."
Jeremy-"Who cares anymore. My life is so stuffed up!"
He went offline.
I just sat there crying.
The rest of the night chris and karmen cheered me up.
I didnt tell anyone that jeremy was leaving, i couldn't stand to admit that it was real.
NEXT DAY;
Msn, i logged in, it was after school, and seeing everyone made me forget about him for awhile.
Jeremy- "Mel, are you still angry at me?"
Me- "Not angry, its ok if you want to forget about everything we had, i dont blame you, im a bad person, it just hurt me that you would say that to me. :/ "
Jeremy - WHAT, melissa, dont be upset!
Me- why do you care if i'm upset, not like it makes a difference in your life, you shouldn't care about me! Why even bother?!"
Jeremy-" Think what you want, im out, i need time to get my self together, goodbye mel x"
Now, i haven't talked to him since, and i don't know what to do, should i just lose all contact with him, and move on?
Or should i try and fix things? And chris.. what about him? Do i move onto him?
I love jeremy with all my heart, but i think im falling for chris, is it possible to love two people at once?
I'm so confused and hurt, i don't know what to think.
Please help me?
x
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Comments
Post a Comment23 Oct, 2010 07:08 AM
whoa..yes,it is possible to love two people at once..u think u falling in love with chris..girl u gotta know if u falling in love with him..aww,jeremy say that cause im gessing he was kind of hurt..u gotta tell me first do u think or know that u falling in love with chris???if u tell me i might(i repeat might)be able to help u more..btw how far is jeremy moving??
30 Oct, 2010 02:55 AM
Everything worked out, me and jeremy are friends now, and chris and I are together and happy.
But i've done some bad things, and i dont know what to do about them :S
Chris is so much better then jeremy, but i cant help but feel that twinge of pain everytime i see him, that bit of love i still have for him.
</3
I guess i love both of them.
01 Nov, 2010 01:52 PM
awww..if chris is better than jeremy...maybe u have to let go of the part that love jeremy..im sorry,but that how love is..u gotta pick one then hurt the other one..even tho u dont mean too..for that pain u have when u see him..just try to smile....but if u do love both of them..listen to ur heart..which one of them make ur heart jump?which one make u more happy?
well,this is my advise or something like that haha..im not sure it going to help..but i do wish u GOOD LUCK AND THE BEST!
take care,xoxoxoxo
02 Nov, 2010 06:59 PM
Hey Melissa, i just want to say how amazed i was by your courageous effort in pouring yourself out to the world. I feel you so bad i know what its like to love 2 people at once ive been there done that but i never knew who to chose. It sounds to me like Jeremy is one of those guys that talks but no action. I believe that Chris might be that someone you never thought he would be. To say that to you (Jeremy), was not cool but i refer to what Chris had said to you after your convo with Jeremy. I beleive that in my heart you deserve someone better than Jeremy. Try Chris for one, he seems amazing even though it was a joke he actually meant what he said about you that he would hug and kiss you.. That meant something. Chris is in LOVE with you. You need to take a risk if it;s Jeremy than it's your choice but as a "friend" i just want to say you need to look deeper inside you , find who your willing to let go and to love, you only make one choice and chose one person. Best wishes . God Bless !
04 Jan, 2011 11:37 PM
Thank you guys, for all the advice and help.
It really helped me.
:)