One Sided Crush

LK

Although it's not as sad as other stories posted on this website, I just really want to put out my feelings, and let it go.

The first time I met him was in journalism class. Even though I'm a freshman, I still can have classes with upperclassmen in electives such as this one.

I haven't really thought of the upperclassmen, I felt that they were people I didn't really need to associate with because we were in different grades. But I talked to some of them, by connecting with golf, and some funny stories, until I talked to him.

He's a great guy, smart, funny, someone I know is really mature. But I realized that he was 17/18, I was really sad, what kind of senior would go out with a freshman right?

But I still talked to him, IMed him, and just plain enjoyed myself when I'm with him. I asked him a few personal questions on form spring, and he found out, and it's awkward.

And when I realized he had someone he liked, I felt pretty crushed.

The worst part is where I also have another elective (graphic design) with some upperclassmen, and I sit next to his friend. We talked and he realized somewhat are partially that I like him. He told me that he would ask me out on a date on Saturday. Of course, before I had graphic design, I had journalism, but the guy I liked had no mention about this whatsoever.

But then again, we couldn't really talk a lot, because our assigned seats put us far away. To make things more clearer, we could talk a lot because this class is in a Mac Lab, and we sat next to each other and talked a lot. With assigned seats we couldn't talk a lot, but I still went up to him and talked about random things such as Halloween costumes for our school assembly.

It just crushed me. I've never met a guy like him, and he's someone I would really feel like would make a great friend, and companion. But it might just be me. I've never felt this strongly about a person before, and previous crushes never felt like this.

I know it's not as sad as some of you think, but to me, I feel that I couldn't have felt worse. I've never had a boyfriend before, I never had my first kiss, I was hoping that it could have been him.

I know I shouldn't even look at him like that because he's a senior. Sooner or later I will move on, but on this website, I just wanted to write down how I feel and let it go.

I'm sure it'll be a stepping stone to find someone that I will truly like. One day, one day.