I fell In Love With Him.

Katlego Mabale

I had the ideal guy all figured out. Not too tall, light in complexion, has his hair platted, muscular,big round eyes,not from a social network and lastly loves me for who I am. But that's until I met Lebo. I met him on a social network,very skinny, dark in complexion,small eyes and would never let his hair grow. Lebo was different, the opposites of what I wanted in a guy, but the was something in him that drew me closer every time we had a conversation on the network. I did not want to end up with a guy I didn't want, so I made it my duty to stay as far away from Lebo as I could.

A few weeks later I had to attend my cousin's party, I didnt want to because she was 16 and I was 17 and I would have to party with 16 year olds, but I didn't have a choice.

My cousin was the center of attention that day, another reason why i didn't want to attend the party. Everybody was having fun, dancing like no one was watching them, screaming as loud as they could when their favorite song was played. And I, I was just sitting with one of my cousins friend and just being a spectator to all of this. As I was having a chat with this guy, I thought to myself "not bad" see he was the funniest guy you could think of, not bad looking too, but he just wasn't the guy. At that moment I didn't have a choice I just wanted time to pass, so I sat there listening to this guys crazy jokes. I was enjoying the jokes but it seemed like we had nothing else to talk about, but his jokes, so I decided to make an excuse of being thirsty and wanting to go get something to drink.

I made my way through crowd, saying hi to some familiar faces. When I got to were all the drinks were, I really felt thirsty and decided to take the drink anyway. I placed my phone lightly on the table and reached out for the cup of Lemon juice. somehow my phone got knocked down to the floor, as I was reaching down for my phone I saw another pair of hands also reaching down for my phone, I decided to quickly grab my phone because I didn't really know who was trying to get my phone.
"Hi"The person said
As I looked up to see where the voice came from, I saw these tiny small eyes, looking straight to mine. This dark skinned face looking straight to my pale shocked face.
"Hi" he repeated showing a row of white teeth.
It was him, the guy i tried my best to stay away from, the dark skinned, skinny, tall,small eyes guy that I met on the social network.
"Lebo?" I asked with a complete puzzled expression on my face.
"Yeah Lebo, that's me. What, you thought I didn't exist?" He asked with his row of white teeth still displayed.
I really did think he didn't exist, i thought I would never have to deal with him anywhere else but the Social Network, but I was wrong. He existed, he was real, he was there standing next to me and he was very charming.
I spent the rest of the night chatting with him, talking about something but nothing in particular, half of the time I didn't hear what he was saying because I was in my own world thinking about how he was making me feel at that moment. It was terrific,I didn't know what it was but it was there, it was real, I was feeling it and it was controlling me.He left for a few moments and at those moments I felt lonely, I felt in need of him, I wanted him next to me, closer and everlasting. When he came back, I held on tightly to him, I didn't wanna let go, I felt so comfortable, so calmly and gently held by these dark skinned strong hands.

We spent the rest of the holiday seeing each other, I didn't mind staying at my cousins house just to be closer to Lebo. At that moment I would have done anything it took just to be closer to him.
"you really like him don't you?" My cousin asked with a smile across her face.
"Well, of course not cuz, like really now, he is not the ideal guy" I replied as convincing as I could.
"You know he has a girlfriend don't you?" And that's when I felt it, the world shutting down all the doors that I thought were opened.
"Of course I do, what do you take me for cuz?" I said to my cousin, the truth is I didn't know, maybe I did know but I decided to brush it off.
My cousin saw the disappointment on my face and decided to change the topic.

The next time he and I met, I decided to ask him about his girlfriend. And as he spoke about her, I could see the smile and passion he had when he was speaking about her, the passion that said that he was in love with her. I wanted everything to stop, I wanted him to stop talking about her, I wanted him to stop loving her, I wanted him to stop all his feelings he had for her.

I made an excuse to leave early that day, I just felt like being alone, I felt like the world could open up a big hole and suck me in. My cousin and I were both quite on the way back home, for I was thinking, thinking to myself why I was feeling that way, why I wanted him to stop loving her, why I wanted him to give his attention to me and me only. Right then and there I realized, I realized a familiar feeling that I felt some time ago with a guy called Micheal. And that's when I realized I fell in love with him.

Everything was different now, I couldn't speak to him like I used to before, I didn't want this love I had for him to grow into something uncontrollable, I didn't want him to see that I was in love with him. But I was too late, for he had already seen that i was acting different and he wanted to why.
"Whats happening Mel, you know I feel like am losing you these days?" He asked, holding my hand as tightly as he could.
"Well maybe its because You never had me Lebo, maybe its because I was never yours." I replied forcing back all the tears.
"What you talking about Mel, why you so angry?" just as he finished that line a phone call went through his phone, from his girlfriend.
And that just hit me, that I was really wasting my time here, playing around with my feelings and I wanted it to stop, I wanted everything to stop. So i didn't even say good bye that day, I left everything, everyone behind. I tried to leave my feelings behind but it was impossible for I fell in love with him. I fell in love with him and I wanted him to be mine, I wanted him closer, like the days before I knew he had a girlfriend.

Something told me it was over when i looked at him talking on the phone with her. Something deep down in my soul said cry girl(cry girl) when i saw him smiling when he called her name out loud
For days and days I was crying, thinking to myself that " I would rather go blind than to see him walk away from me"
Even though I try so hard not to think of him, I just cant stop the rain from falling. I know I could have and should have stopped this when I had the chance but I didn't have the power.

I fell in love with him that i don't wanna watch him leave me, most of all i just don't, i just don't wanna be free from him. I was just, I was just sitting here thinking of his kiss and his warm embrace, when suddenly the reflection in a glass that i held to my lips revealed those tears that were on my face.

I fell in love with him, and that wasn't the plan. But now I know that you never really have a plan for life, because life has a plan for you and that's just the way it is.

I fell in love with him, so deep that its too hard for me to come out of the love, but I know that somehow I have to forget, because its all in the past now and it was all just a dream.

I fell in love with him.
By:
Katlego Melissa Mabale