he betrayed me because his ex betrayed him

aahna

20th April 2011, I got answers for all my questions.
Akash , a guy in my college, just sent me a random message on facebook.it was 9th Feb. 2011. (I feel sorry to say but ya I do remember all the dates) a few months later he was in my friend list. We used to chat just once in the blue moon. Sometimes he used to flirt. One day he asked my number. I tried to refuse, but then he forced me a little n since I don?t really know how to say no, and he had an excuse he wanted to talk about project, I gave him my number on 19th September. Then he started flirting even more and more. Then he told me he liked me. I didn?t had any doubt on this. Everybody liked me in the college and everybody wanted to talk to me, so I just believed it.
Not Many a times he asked me to meet him. He asked just twice or thrice and then refused himself. On asking he told me he is just a little shy, same was the opinion of my friends. He used to text me, and flirt in a very sophisticated way. I liked it but I never knew that one mistake of my life, would make me stand here! So, the story continued and we used to chat on texts, he used to flirt and I liked it. But we never met. He used to disappear for 2, 3 days, then again text me. I don?t know why but those 2, 3 days were actually the toughest to survive. I feel ashamed to say maybe I was getting attached to him or whatever! For about a month it went on like this and in between he disappeared many a times. And then he disappeared for more 5 than days and then I realized he is just playing around or something. Not just he used to disappear but there was something mysterious about his behavior, we never talked on the phone and neither did he ever used to call me up. I and my friends again took it as he is a bit shy. On October 9, he stopped texting even I dint text him then. The next message I got from his was on 16th October then 29th October. Thank God I was strong enough to control myself not to reply to him. We then had a chat of 2, 3 messages in November. Then he texted me on New Year I replied with same to you message. 21st of January, a company came to our campus, I didn?t get selected. He texted me in the evening and he was concerned and tried to cheer me up. I liked the fact that he was concerned for me. The thing that actually had a soft corner for him in my heart was that every time he used to see me in the college, he used to text me and his eyes were on me. Obviously he was not alone in the crowd looking at me, but since I had illusions in my mind, I thought he actually likes me.
In March, he saw me, texted me and we had a healthy chat. I don?t know what came to my mind after that, I started trusting him. Then it started again. Every day we used to chat, a good one actually, he used to pamper me a lot and I liked it. He treated me like a princess. Then after discussing with my friends, I decided to actually reply to him in a positive way and show signs. And I did. Then he told me he loved me. I believed him. Since September, he always asked me to be his girlfriend and yes, now I was his ?so called girlfriend? and he was my ?so called boyfriend?. I?ve used ?So called? just because we still dint used to talk on the phone. We did sometimes, but just for 2 minutes in 2, 3 days. Yes its mysterious, but now I trusted him and loved him so my heart had an excuse to make, he is shy. Now the relationship was started and I had expectations just that he greet me with a goodnight and a good morning message at least. But he never did so. Now he knew that I actually love him. Maybe this was the thing he was waiting for. And the game was over for him.
15th April he text me he didn?t wanted to continue with the ?so called relationship? because we don?t talk and we don?t meet. He had an excuse to make that whenever he calls me my phone is busy. This thing he took as an excuse and it was over for him. He told me about his past. His ex dumped him. Her phone was also always busy and she had reasons. He said he don?t want the same thing to happen with him again. So we should be just friends. I couldn?t believe it. I thought he is just angry or being possessive. But he is going to be fine in a day. I tried hard with many sorry and apologies. I wasn?t even guilty still I apologized just because I dint want to loose him. But he had decided. I called him the whole night. He dint pick a single call of mine. The next morning got a simple text, sorry I slept last night. 16th April the whole day, I again tried hard to make him fine but I got no response. At night he again told me he just wanted to be friends. On asking him clearly, he told me that ?you are a psycho and mad who keeps on talking on phone with friends at night but I am not like you. I sleep on time and wake up on time?. I was broken after listening to what he said. 2 days back I was his smile, a princess with whom he could spend his life with. Today I am a psycho and mad. That night again I dint sleep at all. The whole night I spent texting him and explaining him about my feelings for him and only him and no other guy was in my life. It?s only him. I thought he would change his mind now since I?ve explained him about my feelings. But in the morning I received a text saying he still wants to be just friends. I got angry and text him leave me alone forever. That was in anger that I wrote such a text. I thought he would be back. I got a reply ill talk to you later. Until last night I was still waiting for ?I?ll talk to you later? thing. Missing him so much, I shouldn?t have had, but I again texted him with a cute message but dint got any reply. Maybe he was just waiting for me to say such a thing to him ?leave me alone forever? and he succeeded. I had already said that. And he actually left me alone forever.
Last night, 19th April, I was reading articles on how to get over someone, I came to know about this book ?he?s not that into you- the no excuses book to understanding guys.? I got answers to all my questions. If I wouldn?t have got this book last night, I would have kept on waiting for his reply and text him again and again and he would always reply with a same answer. Because I realized ?he was not that into me actually?. Now I know why he never called me up if he loved me, why he never wanted to meet me if he loved me, how could he disappear for so song if he loved me!!! More than 100 times, I said sorry to him for no reason, he abused me but I was the one to text him again. But I got no response. All these questions of mine have been answered in that book. He actually didn?t love me is the answer. Thanks to that book that now I know that I should not waste a single second thinking about him and waiting for his text. Because he would never do that. He would never be back.
You all must be wondering why he did all that with me. I have an answer for that also. He wanted to take revenge. His girlfriend left him for some other guy. He was frustrated with this thought. Being a Taurus, more than his heart, his ego was hurt. Being immature (he is 2 years younger to me) he wanted to cheat on any girl and hurt any girl or maybe every girl out there just because of the fact that he trusted a girl and was being cheated by her.
I am telling my story to all you girls because what I went through in these 8 months, I don?t want any bastard to do the same with you. If I had this book earlier this thing wouldn?t have happened with me ever. I had questions but no one to answer. My mind and heart just made excuses to feel good. Just because of him, today I hate every single guy in this whole world. But just because I have been fooled by a bastard, I will not go and fool other innocent guys (if there are any) just to take revenge. If I do the same, then what would be the difference between him and me?
Yes I am hurt.ill not smile for a few months. It would take a long time for my tears to dry up. I wonder why me? I never did anything wrong with anybody ever. Maybe God knows that some other girl might just end up losing hope for life but I am the strongest of all the girls and I can get over it. I am strong enough to bear this pain.