endless love

B.

It all started sophomore year, when i moved to another high school, at that time he was one of my classmates boyfriend, as he said for the first time "hi" i knew that i will always feel something for him. We started talking to each other more and more each day, we started seeing each other even though he was going out with her. We started dating without anybody knowing that we wore more than just friends. One day he called me and asked if i wanted to go to his house, saying that he broke up with my classmate, i rushed over to his house and that's when it happened, that's when i lost my childhood, i gave my virginity to him, i can still remember trembling in his arms as he kissed my shoulder. I was a child then, about 16 years old, after two days i found out that he had gotten back together with my classmate, it hurt really bad i wanted to make him feel sorry for what he had done for me but what i did hurt me more than it hurt him i got into a relationship with this guy and it lasted one year and a half, as i was going out with him my first love broke up with my classmate for good and was looking for me,trying to get back with me, i didn't want to i was scared, i thought he was going to hurt me again. After my brake-up with this boy i became friends with this girl that was living near by my first love, he had seen some pictures of us and started asking her for my number, i didn't believe a word he had said, i couldn't. One day my friend and i were invited to this guy's birthday party, we went, my first love was there, i wanted to go back home, i hated him. Later that night i got really drunk and started dancing that's when he came and danced with me and then he kissed me, i tried pushing him away but i the desire of him kissing me was bigger. Since that night we started going out again, this time everybody knew, it was perfect i thought that he was the guy for me, i even tattooed his name on me, and it's been almost a year since we've gotten back together, and it doesn't work anymore, and it hurts knowing that i have been through this already, i don't know what to do, i love him with all my heart but i know that he doesn't feel the same about me, he has changed and wont admit it. Maybe we will brake-up, maybe we will still go out, but i will always know that he will be my number one love.