Vote +13

lost innocence

ashlee secor

22 May, 2011 10:28 PM

June 29, 2009, 4 days after my 15th birthday, I was just getting off of work. I had to take my dog for a walk. Mom and dad weren't home. I walked on the lonely dirt road. A man in a red sweatshirt was in the distance coming towards me. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone. But I didn't know who he was. The closer he got the more I realized I couldn't see his face. Only his piercing black eyes. He watched me with every step I took. When he finally reached me he stole my dog from me and hit her over the head. The next thing I know I am on the ground and he is on top of me ripping my pants of. His dirty scarred hand covering my mouth. I could feel the tears running down my face. I remember thinking that this was not the way I wanted to lose my virginity. But then I blacked out due to so much pain shooting between my legs. Suddenly I cam to and he said to me in a deep voice that I will never forget, "If u tell anyone about this, I WILL find u. And I WILL kill u" he ran off and I ran home. I was in so much pain it was unbearable. Nobody was home still so I got in the shower and cleaned my clothes. When I told my mom it was too late. 2 months had already gone by. Will I ever be able to trust a mans loving touch? Or will I be scarred forever?

Tags: Pain, Rape, Fear
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daysi says:
28 May, 2011 01:17 AM

Aaaawww ! :/

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Olivia says:
28 May, 2011 02:43 PM

oh my god im so sorry to hear :( almost the same thing happened to me but it was by my brother and for 7 years. i just recently am doing something about it. and trust me, you will trust another man again you just need to find someone whos willing to take it slowly with you because he understands. stay strong and keep your head up.
sincerely,Olivia

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Kate says:
05 Jun, 2011 10:53 AM

omg!!! thats horrid!!!

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Salena C says:
20 Jun, 2011 07:13 PM

The same thing happened to me it was my uncle but t was also to protect my 3 lil cousins but trust me u will find a guy tht u will trust i have inthis past couple months that i trust wth my heart but stay strong and never give up hope or faith

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kayla j says:
01 Jul, 2011 01:33 AM

idk you guys but i love you guys and i feel horrible... i wanna kick these dudes in thee bals 10000 times.. no woman deserves to be treated this way

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Kate says:
30 Jul, 2011 10:58 PM

Omg that's terrible! Yah some guys just need to be kicked in the balls until they cry for their mothers. I'm not usually a spiteful person, but that guy totally deserves it and the rest of the evil men in the world. Hang in there, you'll be okay. Stay strong!

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love hate no more says:
24 Nov, 2011 08:21 AM

the same thing happened to me nd i am crying so hard rite now nd all i can say iz sorry

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maya says:
19 Dec, 2011 07:04 AM

aw,you need to know that there are people out there for you and if i could iwould just hug you

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ashlee secor says:
20 Dec, 2011 08:41 PM

Thank you guys so much for these comments. They help me know that there r people out there who understand me. So when I have bad thoughts and memories, I look at these and they make me see someone cares. Thank u so much. I love youguys even though I have no idea who you are.

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Kimberly Frizzell says:
26 Dec, 2011 09:24 PM

the same thing happened to me it happened to me last year 2010 and im still not over i told my mother to late but i still hate to get close to a guy my boy friend broke up with me whenever i rufused to kiss him but then i told him and he understood but i cant even get close to a guy or be alone with one bc im so scared

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caring says:
31 Jan, 2012 01:19 AM

Thats such a sad story..tk care..i wish u all good luck in lyf!!its ok u dint loose anything..try to forget it..

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HASZ CRUNCHZ says:
08 Jun, 2012 08:44 AM

OMG! i am so sorry for you even though i have never been raped or abused i think i know how you feel i juss wanna hug you. donts worry there are people who will understan. there are bad people and good people in life but you just need to trust the good people and try to forget what happened. dont let any one take your happiness and chances in life.

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Fox lady says:
24 Sep, 2012 11:31 PM

I now the feeling and it hurts u always ask ur self questions like why did it happen 2 me u feel alone and worthless i never told any1 my story cause im afraid no 1 will believe me but u hav courage i hpoe 1 dday i will be strong enough 2 tell my story

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