Some Good Things Never Last

Fly N Dance

It's been one long hour she?s been staring at the window. It?s one gloomy morning she thought. She just arrived from Paris the night before. She?s still jet-lagged but she has already slept a bit. She hurried to the door when she heard Ciara approaching.

?Hi Mom, you?re up already??
?Of course baby, I missed you.?, she gave her daughter a big hug. ?Can we go out today??
?Mom, you?re wrong timing eh. We?re going out today with Tita Anne. She?s teaching me with horseback riding. Daddy?s downstairs waiting for me. Can we just go out tomorrow? I have to go na mom. Love you Mom?, then she kissed her and walked out the door.

She can?t help but noticed that her baby is already a grown up. She?s already 12 years old. She had her when she?s barely 19. She hadn?t finished her studies yet. She was so young and so in love with Jake who is by that time starting with his business. Jake?s four years older than her and with so many dreams. He got her pregnant and they were not ready for it. Nevertheless, he married her. Their first year of marriage is perfect. She thought she?s the luckiest and happiest girl in the world especially when she gave birth to Ciara. She became a full housewife. She didn?t complain a bit, she was happy doing all the chores. Jake is her life, what more could she ask for.

On their fourth year of marriage, Jake is struggling with his business due to crisis in the economy and pressure with competition. One fateful day of August, while she was strolling around the mall with Ciara, an agent approached her asking if she?s interested in modeling. She has the face and the height. She cannot believe it first but she always wanted to become a model since then. It?s her impossible dream, and it?s here come knocking on her door. It?s time for her to have a career. She somewhat feels insecure whenever she learns her friends were already successful.

She talked with Jake about it that night. She persuaded him to support her since she can help him raise money to help with his business. After a long discussion and compromise that she?ll still take care of their daughter, he agreed. After a week, she contacted the agent and right after she signed up for a 6-mos contract for different modeling stints. After all, it?s just domestic.

With the big money she?s earning, she has helped Jake stabilize their business. Ciara is already schooling so she signed up again for a 1-year contract. But she makes it a point that when she?s on leave she?s the one taking care of Ciara. However, she and Jake were often busy they seldom see each other. When she?s at home, Jake is in a conference and vice versa. That?s the time when they had started to have fights. One time, she?s in a modeling stint in Hong Kong that Ciara was hospitalized due to pneumonia. If only he knows that she felt like dying that time. She flew back right away to Manila and when she arrived, Ciara was already discharged. It was one of the worst fight they ever had.

From then on, Jake is always demanding for her time sometimes too unreasonable. She has just signed up for a 2-year contract and Jake is forcing her to quit but she can?t coz she might get sued for breach of contract. But she promised Jake that she?ll just finish it then she?ll quit.

Within that time, out of the country fashion shows had become more frequent. Sometimes it took her a month before can leave one series of shows. She?s been away a lot of times but she said to herself that in months, she?s done with it. She can give up her career for Jake so they can work out their marriage.

A month before her contract expires, Jake called saying that he?s filing for an annulment. She can?t believed what he said. He told her he doesn?t need a ghost wife. She said that it?s only a matter of days, it?s not that long to wait. But he said that she should come right away or he?ll go on with the annulment. She didn?t believe that her husband can do that, after all she knows that they still love each other. She couldn?t understand how Jake can be so unreasonable. She knows he cannot do that for the sake of Ciara.

After a week, while still in New York, her mom called that Jake has already filed the papers. She was so hurt and shocked. With her ego badly bruised, she signed up for another 2-year contract and Jake can go on with the annulment as if she cares, though she?s worried about Ciara. She called her daughter and ask her how she feels. For a 9 year old, she can?t believe her daughter could be so understanding, mature and smart. She still remembers their conversation.

?Hi baby, how are you??
?I?m okay Mom, when are you coming back??, she hints a sense of longing in her voice.
?Don?t worry baby, I?ll be back soon.?, then she doesn?t know how to say it. ?hmm, baby, you know that your Dad and I are separating right. I want to know baby how are you coping with it, I know how it is hard for you. Please tell mommy.??
There?s a moment of silence then she said. ?Honestly I?m sad mom. Of course I want you too be together but if you both not happy and you just fight then I?m okay with it. I know that you still love me right??
She?s startled when she asks ?Mom is it okay if I stay with Dad, will you be happy??. She said yes. She lied to her own daughter.


Their annulment on her amazement quickly progressed. After year, their annulment was granted. If there?s for any consolation, she and Jake became civil and friends if that?s what you call it when two people call each other about the welfare of their daughter. Their off-court settlement is Ciara stays with her dad and she can have her when she?s at home. If vacation, she can take Ciara to her fashion shows abroad with Jake agreement of course. She may not be the best mother but she tried hard to be a good one.

One day, her daughter told her that her dad is dating someone. It took months before Ciara told her, she said that she?s afraid she might get hurt. She told her that?s she?s okay with it, lying to her daughter. Ciara finds her nice and with breeding, and she can never forget when she told her that she?s a good candidate to be her step-mom. She?s hurt with the idea. Her daughter is now fond of someone else and that happens to be a GF of his ex husband. She said her name is Anne and she is so pretty and she already loves her.

Whenever they talked on the phone, her daughter never failed to tell her about her day like they had a swimming or they went to Star City or they had picnic in the park. She knows, when Ciara said ?they? it means the three of them. Her daughter is so discreet she avoids to tell her about her dad?s GF Anne. So, she?s the one who asks, then Ciara would tell how patient Anne is teaching her Math and other stuffs. She dismissed the pricking in her heart. She thought she?s already used to it, she?s wrong. She never will.

After a year of going back and forth, she haven?t met her. She refused to. Jake didn?t even bother, maybe out of respect to her. One evening, Jake made an overseas call . ?Janine, hmmm..? he?s speechless on the other end.
?Yes, what it is Jake??
?It?s been two years since we separated? and you know that I?ve been with Anne for more than a year now. So I guess it?s time fo me to settle down again. I proposed to her and she said yes. So?we?re getting married next month?. I hope you could come .?.but if you can?t, I?ll understand.?
There?s a moment of silence as she?s holding back the tears on the other line but then she managed to say, ?of course, I?d love to come?.

And now she?s here in her room, the gloomy day sympathizes with her feelings. She promised Jake that she?ll attend his wedding. That?s the reason why she?s here. Of course she has to take care of Ciara while Jake is on his honeymoon.

It takes a lot of willpower and composure to dress herself, go and enter the cathedral. The place is so beautiful, reminded her of her wedding though they were just married in the Mayor?s office. She smiled to all the familiar faces she saw. It?s her mask, she?s been wearing for over years now. Pretense is her best suit especially with Jake. He can?t have him see her hurting. And Jake, she saw how handsome he is, as ever. The he saw her and when their eyes met, for a fleeting moment, she saw something in his eyes, something when they part ways after their annulment papers were signed. Regret..loss.. maybe. As the ceremony went on, pieces of memories came flashing back. In a matter of minute, she know she?ll break down and she couldn?t afford it so she better get out of the church. It?s right before they said I Dos, perhaps to spare from more pain.

She stayed for a day but she?ll be back until Ciara finished her grade school and can be with her for the entire vacation.

The next day, she decided to head back to New York. It?ll will hurt her more if she?ll stay longer. It?s nice of Jake to take her to the airport. Before she left, he hugged her as he whispered

?I still love you Janine but you see, we have different lives now?.

There were mists in his eyes. There was a moment of silence. She didn?t know what to say.

Then she walked away, boarded the plane and shed tears. That?s the price she has to pay.