Used

Morgan

It's one of those days, the ones in which your the only thought bouncing in my head. Everything in my reach reminds me of you. I can not escape the fate of remembering it all. Its been months,but it feels like it was just last night.
I'm balled up in your hoodie, clinging to the last of your fragrance. I cling to my mattress for comfort as i silently sob into the sleeve. As I rub away the tears with my cold, pale hands i glance out the window. It's dreary, rainy, just like the night i left your room. As the grey light of the window shadows over my body i cower in my own existence. Everything is numb now, and the only thing i can tell myself is that eventually I'll forget. That someday you will mean nothing. But I feel as if the only memory I have of you is the minutes of life that I wish could be erased. I replay it subconsciously as I close my eyes, I remember.
Your warm touch against my stomach, and your soft kiss on my cheek. The moments seem endless as you take from me everything I have to give. I just want you to be happy, to be happy with me..
I remember when you let me rest on your chest. Your warm breath would roll over my neck as you whispered into my ear. You swore I was the only thing on your mind. I believed every word that escaped your lips. The bond between us left me craving to be attached. I don't want to seem weak, all I want is you. I let you in because I had no one else to lean on. I didn't think it would get this far.
I began to doubt you, as you slowly grew distance from me. Lonely and empty I sought for care from your loving arms. That is when you told me you still loved her. I had never been enough. I was a piece on your game board that no longer held use.
That was the night I held together my pride, and walked away from you. All our memories weighing me down like stones, every kiss leaving me with a scar. Forever. Sometimes I see you. Every time my heart stops beating, the air gets to thin to breath, and the confidence I hold inside me cracks like fault lines. My wide eyes hold back tears until you turn your back on me. You don't even take a second glance, which tears me apart. Why you never fought for me I will never understand. You're bullet proof ego and cold-hearted ways are to complex for my comprehension. I am so young, and naive. I'm broken and spread in pieces on the ground. I pray to the god I don't believe exists to guide me to just a glimmer of compassion. All I wanted was love. All you could give, was the actions that place me in a new state of being.
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