my guardian angels

josie

my story starts when i was in the 2nd grade.
my best friend erin and i were on our way to dallas to visit her cousin max and aunt kathy.the drive there was terribly long.once we arrived to her aunt's house we raced inside to find her cousin.we walked to a room with a deep purple door with musical stickers everywhere.we stepped in to find her cousin reading a book,he looked up and a smile spread across his perfect face.his eyes lit up,then slowly wandered to me.i got nervous and quickly hid behind erin.erin sidestepped and introduced me to max and vise versa.i said hi then resumed hiding behind erin.i stayed quiet the entire first day we were there.we went out for dinner then came home and played a few games.after washing up before bed i went to erin and told her that i had a crush on max,her face lit up and she grinned,she told me that max was the reason she invited me.she had it in her determined little head that me and max would become a forever lasting couple.when i woke up the next morning no one else was awake but max and i.i went to his room and sat on the floor and started talking to him.within moments max and i were talking like we had been friends since the beginning of time.that day i spent it right next to max.erin was with us but on the other side of max.we spent the whole 2 weeks like that.the day we were leaving dallas max asked me if i would want to be his girlfriend i said ok then ran outside to the car to tell erin.the ride home i spent talking about max and thanking erin for inviting me.when i got home i wrote it in my journal. a few days later at school erin told me that max was moving to corpus.i spent the whole day smiling and jumping around with excitement.when max finally moved to corpus i found out that he moved 2 houses over,so each morning the three of us walked to school talking and laughing and being little 8 year old. erin is the one who lit up the room as soon as she walked in and could put a smile on just about anyone's face,max was the comedian of the three cracking jokes left and right,and i was the songbird,as max would say,i would always be singing or humming or writing songs.we blended perfectly together.max,erin and i were inseparable.after school max and i walked erin home 6 blocks away from our houses,then would walk home together hand in hand.one day erin didn't come to school,i asked max where she was,he had no clue.the next day max didnt show up so i decided to go to erin's house.i knocked on the door and erin's aunt kathy answered it.i asked where erin was.then i noticed that she was crying.i asked what was wrong but max came up and whispered in my ear that erin's deadbeat dad took erin away and raped her and beat her.i stared at him with tears in my eyes i ran to kathy and hugged her and just cried max joined in crying tears of his own and comforting his mom and me.erin got to go home after her dad was put away and the doctor's said she was ok.erin's mom took erin out of school and started her on homeschooling.max and i went to see her everyday.erin seemed fine but i knew something about her was off.during summer max told me he was moving back to dallas and that we'd have to break up,i was sad when he left cuz i didnt have any other friends at school,so 3rd grade i spent by myself.erin told me one day before 4th grade started that max was moving back to corpus.i was happy but was still really worried about erin.January 13th was one of the best days of my life.it was my 10th birthday and max gave me his favorite pair of converse with happy birthday and our names all over them,and a necklace with a j&m on it.that was the day max told me he loved me and promised me he would be the one i married and grew old with.i ran to erin's and told her and showed her my gifts.in the fifth grade max spent half the school year in corpus and the other in dallas but this time we stayed together.finally in sixth erin was back in school and was by my side again.but in 7th grade erin started skipping school,missed classes and started hang out with all the trouble makers.halfway in the year max calledv and said that he's coming back to corpus.when he was back erin was still acting up but added getting in fights,smoking and cutting herself to her list.one day erin didnt come to school and niether did max,worried that erin's dad was back i went to erin's after school, found the door open so i walked inside.i found erin's relatives filling the house and pictures of erin as a kid and as a teen out everywhere.i noticed that everyone was crying.i then came to reality and it set in that they were mourning the death of someone.finally found max in erin's room knealt down on the floor crying terribly.i hugged him and asked who died.already knowing who but needed confirmation.he confirmed by saying erin came home and slit her wrists.we sat there next to her bed and cried till the house started to empty.we started to walk home but decided to stay at a friend's house who was out of town for the weekend.max's friend left his window open like he usually did for us.that night max and i fell in love with each other in a deeper level.that night max and i took our relationship to the next level and slept together.a month later we found out that i was pregnant.we knew we wanted to keep her but our mother's wanted different.max and i ultimately made the decision to keep her. on april 4th 2008 we welcomed our daughter jesika erin emiliano on her proud daddy's birthday.she was our pride and joy.the day jesika was born max and i fell in love all over again.a few months later jesika was diagnosed with a disease called biliary atresia which affects the liver.max and i did all we could to help our little jesika but nothing could be done.April 10th 2009 our little jesika passed away in the hospital.max got a tattoo of jesika's foot prints and name on his chest next to erin and my name.2 weeks shy of freshman year max moved back to dallas with his mom and left me here in corpus.max and i broke up the night before freshman year started,my first day went terrible i came home and cried i lost my baby,my best friend,and my boyfriend.max and i stopped talking and separated from each other.max called me in august and told me he missed me and missed being with me.he asked me to be his girlfriend again.i said of course and we talked everyday on the phone,or used video chat,and texted each other all the time.october 22nd max and i were on the phone having a discussion about erin and it turned into a heated argument,within moments max and i were yelling at each other.i told him its over and to never speak to me again and i hung up.the next day in homeroom my cell phone went off and i went to the hallway to answer it.it was kathy,max's mom trying to talk through tears,i asked what was wrong and her words still ring in my ear."josie,my baby,my max is gone!my baby's gone!he was hit in his car head on by a drunk truck driver on his way to school.my baby!" i fell to the floor and cried curled up in a ball.i cried until my teacher came out and found me sprawled on the hallway floor crying and yelling hysterically.he helped me to the school" counselor's office.i stayed there until my mom came to pick me up.once i was home i crawled into bed grabbed a pair of max's old shoes,put them on,got erin's friendship necklace,put it on,and jesika's stuffed unicorn.i walked down to the bay front and stayed the night there.sometime in the night i heard voices and a baby crying i woke up and looked around i saw 2 people and a baby about 2 or 3 feet away from me.i saw their faces and my jaw dropped it was erin and max holding baby jesika in his arms.they all looked so pure and brilliant erin bared no marks of her death neither did max and jesika looked like she had never been sick a day in her entire life just stared in disbelief.max broke the silence by saying sorry for leaving me alone and for the fight and for not saying goodbye and how much he loves and misses me.erin was after him apologizing for not talking to me and telling me her problems and for not saying how much she loves me and what i mean to her.then jesika laughed her adorable innocent laugh which said all i needed to hear.i told max i was sorry for the argument and the things i told him and not saying how much i love him and breaking up with him.and i told erin that I'm sorry for letting her act out that i should've done something and how much i love her and what she means to me.and i told Jessica that i love her with all my heart and i'm sorry she got sick.after max said that they had to leave but that they had to see me again.i asked them if they would watch over me but they gave me no answer.they slowly faded away and i just started crying again.hugging Jessica's unicorn.i went home the next morning wondering if seeing them was just a dream.i missed a week of school.when i went back i was being suffocated by people telling me their sorry for my loss.i just wanted to be by myself so i faded into the background.i felt alone and i just didn't care anymore.i started smoking weed,drinking,cutting myself,skipping school,got into fights,failed most of my classes,got fired from my job,and got arrested a few times.one night i heard a voice i looked around my room hoping to find erin,max,and my baby girl.this time only max was here at the foot of my bed.he told me that this is not what any of them wanted for me,that i needed to get my act together,and stop hurting myself.he made me promise him i would.after i did he told me that he also wanted me to started pursuing my dream of being a singer,that he wanted his songbird to sing again.to focus on what mattered most.then he left.i got out of bed threw away all my weed,blades,and alcohol and started to study.the next morning i went to school aced my tests,applied for a job,and went home to apologized to my mom for the hell i put her through.a few weeks later i was in a car accident that should've killed me but only gave me a few bruises and a sprained wrist.that was the day i realized the three most important people in my life were now my guardian angels.