I can't let go

Manda

We were too young for loves I thought, I never really thought about boys until Jay attends my church he came in with his big brown eyes that could make any girl tremble. We were only 8 years old and it was summer where we would have a program for our church and he happen to come too, I never really noticed him, to me he was cocky and a show off he tried to impress me with running really fast and showing me how athletic he was but he noticed that I wasn't impressed. At the same time he realized I was athletic as well so we competed against each other sometimes we were on the same team. As years went on I started to see how immature he was becoming until I heard him sing it was like heaven on earth as if I was falling in love with him and the room became empty and no one was there just jay and I. I pretend like I didn't like him when I was madly in love with him as years went on he noticed that I loved him and he loved me back we became close until the worst thing on earth happened HIGH SCHOOL we lived far way from each other but we still attends the same church he stopped attending youth service and bible studies, I never felt so alone but every Sunday morning I knew he would be there. I knew we drew further apart he didn't sing as much but when he did I cherished every note he sang. As we drifted my best friend told me he had a girlfriend Alexa my heart sank I felt as if the world was going to end right there and then. My heart stopped and everyone knew I was in love with him, they told me to move on but I couldn't we were about13 or 14 can't remember but I could never forget the pain I felt as if someone had knocked the wind out of my actually that would feel better than the pain I felt I can't really explain it just think about the worst thing that hurts the most then times it by infinity. I had to take it day by day, week by week, month by month. They broke up a few times but they got back together, I still loved him he just didn't know and I didn't want him to know if this is what made him happy then so be it. They finally broke up and my feelings for him drifted and I don't think they will come back. Now I am 18 and I still love him and he still doesn't know. I hope you hold on to the one you love and don't let them go because if you do you will regret it.