my date with death

chris

I'm just putting my first name so maybe it will be remember. i have a mental illness and deal with sadness,depression and suicidal thoughts on a daily basis. i was at a low point when i first made this, but i hope you can see the beauty deep within

falling...falling into darkness...it feels like i have been falling for days,with no end. i land gently on my back, finally an end.where am i...to dark to see...but something to hear. a kaw. a crow lands gently on my shoulder. some say that help lost spirits find the path to the afterlife...now i understand where i am, and a shiver runs down my spine. the crow, watch keeper of the fallen, starts to fly away. "wait for me!", i yell in a frightened and panicked state. i follow the crow for what seemed for miles, the only life that could stray my fear of being alone. kaw, kaw, the crow finally lands. out of breath, panting, i finally catch my breath. it stopped in front of a large door. a door? how is something could something like this be in a pitch black world? it opens and i peek inside... it reminds me of a giant gothic castle, where great masquerade balls are held and only the wealthy attend. i grab the handle and slowly open the door, what did i have to loose? walking inside i see a room with a dazzling ivory floor and giant onyx walls. stairs of hematite and granite lead to an alter with a throne of skull and bones. it finally dawns in me...this is the lair of death itself. ?oh, your early, and I was just finishing up?. the voice of death?! my heart beats faster and faster. i can only imagine his grim appearance. the stories of writers and poets of the world explain his appearance as a a skeletal figure, in a black hooded robe, wielding a sickle meant to reap life itself. i can only imagine the look on their faces if they could see what i had with their own eyes?and there was death. I couldn?t stop shaking, but i saw a figure not as i imagined. all the grim stories of death had been fiction all along. standing in the candle light before me was not a spectator with a life reaping sickle, but a beautiful woman. she had pale skin like the moon and long swaying black hair. with eyes ocean blue and crimson lips, painted in blood. what caught my attention most was her dress. a black flowing shimmering in the candle light, like spider silk. the most beautiful woman i have ever seen was the same one that struck fear into the hearts of mortals. ?whats wrong, you act like you've never seen a lady before?? she said as she descended her thrown with a childish giggle. i started shake,but couldn't decide whether it was from fear or being lovestruck. lovestruck?! she strikes fear in the hearts of men everyday and all i can do is marvel at her beauty. i started rambling with questions, unable to make a single sentence.?how did i...where am...but you are...?. ?hey, hey, slow down!? the beauty said with encouragement. ?every time a new one walks through that door... ugh, why don't we talk over a drink.? a drink? well, i guess it would calm my nerves. i was handed on onyx goblet with the freshest smelling wine, ?a toast, to new friends and a clear head?,?cheers!?. i only took a sip, but the time i was done, she had finished the whole goblet, and licked the remains from her crimson lips. ?Ahh, ya know, i don't get visitors very often.? what did she mean...was i supposed to be here? ?sometimes poor souls like you get lost on their way to sleep,and get very...er...lets go with emotional.? emotional? ?then they cant sleep at all, so i throw them a ?pick-me-up-party?!? party...ugh,im starting to feel...tired...?looks like its time for you to go,...oh well, i enjoyed your company.? she slowly approached with her arms spread out...what was she doing? why is she coming near me? i want to run...to scream...to do anything, but I'm shaking to much. wrapping her arms around me in a hug, felt like being a child in a mothers arms. kissing my forehead, i fell into a state of relaxed and secure i have never felt before. ?time for bed, my sweet.? my body goes limp...my eyes are heavy...i think i will rest for a while...