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Athram

My story is a long one. At fist, I started messaging a guy on Facebook. We started flirting in January, 2011. After awhile, He seemed uninterested in me. I felt crushed because he meant the world to me, he was always there for me. And then he wasn't. He's changed a lot this year. He got an ear piercing, and his whole character has changed. It's almost like I never knew him.
There's this other guy fro Spain that's been talking to me this summer, but he's getting bored, and that hurts my feelings. It's like I can't be good enough for anyone. I found out at school yesterday from some other girls that he's done the same thing to them. I felt so tricked. I'm mad at him, I can't believe he did that to me. Even worse, hes coming back to Texas from Spain, and I had said I'd hang out with him. I have NO idea what I'm going to do.
Everyone tells me I'm beautiful, my mom even is more protective over me than my sister because they think I'm prettier. My mom told me I'm beautiful, but when she gets mad at me ( which happens a lot ) she hits me, pulls my hair, and tells me I'm ugly. That's ruined my feelings about myself. Every time someone tells me I'm pretty, I say thanks, but it doesn't mean anything to me.
There's is this one guy that I've liked ever since 6th grade, and now I'm a freshmen in high school. He's one year ahead of me, and he just got his license for his motorcycle. Honestly, though I talked to those other guys, I've always liked this one guy. And I found out recently that he's liked me long long time too. I feel different about this guy, I can't put my finger on it.
This past Wednesday night, I wrote my best friend a not about all that I told you about him. If he ever said I'm beautiful, or if he loved me as deeply as I love him, I feel like that would fill up the hole in my chest, I didn't want him to see the note, but she showed it to him. She doesn't know I know that though... I know this because she told one of my other friends. The guy I like, she told me he didn't want me to know, but he does love me back. But she didn't tell me about the note. So now he knows everything. Which, I'm happy he does, but I wish he didn't know. At school, I've caught him looking at me. I don't know what to do. But I'll just go on casually, because he doesn't know that I know he saw the note.
Please please tell me what you think I should do. I love this guy more than anything, and I'd do anything for him. I even want my first kiss to be with him. So I'm saving it for him. If he died, or disappeared or anything, my world would crash into a black hole. Please please write me. Thanks for reading my happening story - athram. My email is: marthacoates93@yahoo.com