Believe Me When I Say Your Beautiful

Kenna

I was with my friend Alex,, And I got in a fight with the guy who said he loved me, We left in a furry, I walked up to the benches crying but no one noticed cause I was blinking away the tears, When,, This guy I've always liked said "Let's go on a walk.." And We got up and started on our walk.. He said
"I could tell you were going to cry,,"
Me: "I was.."
Him: "Well, was.."
...........LATER............
After I was done telling him,, the 2guys that have used me for pictures and my body.. He looked me deep in the eyes he pierced through my skin and straight through my sheild of not trusting anyone, Fast down my throat and past my lungs to my heart and lit it on fire. He said "Believe Me When I Say Your Beautiful"
Me: "I've attempted suicide..."
Him: "No that's selfish.."
Me: "How?"
Him: "Not only does that make your life done. Think of the people that actually do care and like you."
Me: "Like who?"
Him: "Me, Bryce, Alex,"
Me: "Bryce is obsessed with me."
Him "I'm goin to be completely honest with you, Even before you and Bryce, Since the day I saw you I liked you, I wanted to be all up on you just,," *Sighs*
Me: "How'd you know it was me?"
Him: "You were the shy girl, always quiet, Brown hair.."
Me: "You see that,, I used to cut,, If I was home I'd have my arms bloodied."
Him: "I used to do to that too.. It doesn't get you anywhere. Your not going to do that, That's selfish.."
...............After..............

Him: "When ever you want, I don't care what anyone has to say I will go on a walk with you."
I wanted to believe it was true and I did. I finally trusted someone after April 20th.. (The Second guy using me,, The night I found out) his image still in my head ringing around in circles, Believe Me When I Say Your Beautiful.
We all went to the bleachers,, And he took me behind the bleachers and said "Okay, Do you like me? Cause your kinda acting like you do?? Cause I really like you." I said "Yes(:" Too bad my lil broken heart didn't know what'd happen next..
We kept having "talks" Which weren't talks just lots of make out...
Later The Next Day
I said
:Fuck emotions they only fuck you over in the end.
Him: *Just looks at me and looks like he's going to cry.*
Me: *I grabbed him by the sides and looked at him in the eyes* "But,, Yours matter to me."
Me, Alex, And Him, Were on top of the weird house thing, and me and Alex kept yelling at this girl who wouldn't empty out the lawn mower bag out and we kept yelling mean stuff, and Him was like you guys are a team every time you yell something you guys get a star, When you reach 10stars you have to get your punishment, Well.. I got to 20stars and Alex got to 14, Alex got snap tapped, And Him took me around the corner and said "what's the point of yelling?"
Me: "It's fun :P"
Him: "How is it fun?"
Me: "It just is."
We didn't do that much more talking..
LATER NEXT DAY
I was with Alex, Saw Him and he didn't say anything.. Didn't even look, Ecept, Slapped my butt, And I was talking with my friend Chase, He said "IS THAT A HICKEY?!?!?!" Me: "Ummm.. Pshhhh.. No" *Looking at HIM, He gave a short smile*
NEXT DAY
Me and Alex:
me: "Is he good for me?"
Alex: "Yes you have no idea. Him is like you. One of the only people I trust. He is a great person and I would trust him with my life."
Me: "Really??(:"
Alex: "Yeah, Why don't you go out with him.."
Me: "I want too..."
Alex: "Ah shit.. I feel like a dick now"
AFTER A LOT OF AURGUING
Alex: "Him can't date you.."
Me: "...why..."
Alex: "I really don't want to hurt you but i was talking to him yesterday and I asked why he won't date you and he said there's another girl that's were he got his hickey."
Me: "No... No..."
Alex: "I know but you really liked him and maybe he would have give up that other girl for you."
Alex: "And you know what that's his loss. Your a great person and unlike the girl Him wants your not a slut and if I was as lucky as him to have you want to date me I would do anything and everything to keep you and make you happy."
Me: "I feel so fucking stupid."
Alex: "How? Cause you fell for someone and they didn't feel the same? No, that doesn't make you stupid it makes you human."
Alex: "And he is a dumb guy jacked up on hormones so he wants to go for the other girl cause she's a slut."
Me: "..."
Alex: "You know what, I'm going to be truthful about how I felt all the time i was in Buckley and I will most likely regret it later. I wanted you. I wanted to date you and treat you like a queen. But the whole Tyler thing had you all upset but I figured eventually you would just get tired of you but then you and Him and you have no idea how much that killed me. Seeing you guys kiss. Hold hands walk alone and just cuddle cause I wanted that. I wanted to be in his position and right then I though I was way too stupid but no I still feel that way. And you are a good to alot of people especially me."
Me: "How?"
Alex: "Your so much like me. Your such a amazing person. Your easy to talk to. I trusted you in two days of talking to you. Your important to me cause you remind me I'm not alone."
Next Day
I walked up to the skatepark, And the first thing I see is Him hug his "Girl" I felt my heart shatter, Break, AGAIN.. I still feel nothing...

I asked to go on a walk with Him,
Him: "Just one second"
10 Minutes Later
He walks over to a different bench, Looks at his feat the whole time while I explained what happened with my brother, (He called me a whore, slut, bitch, Cunt, And A skank.
Him:Oh,, That's gay gets up and walks away. I made it to the post office before I started crying.
He never cared, He just wanted in my pants, later I got the message from Alex, Him called me a bitch, and he and his girl he isn't even dating are all figured out. He got my trust, He got it all. And what did he do? Threw it away, never a second look, Not even a goodbye, he got me, grabbed my heart and ripped it out like a band-aid, I was just another GIRL to him....