Conclusions (More Than Just Best Friends)

Den C Ti (find me on facebook)

Back when I was in high school, I was a smart kid but never really striven for high grades or perfect scores... At times, I would make sure I would get a zero on my tests and get a 100% on my exams to confuse my teachers...

One day, on my senior year, one of my math teacher announced an up coming quiz bee... Eleonor (not her real name just in case anyone actually knows me), was chosen to compete 'cause she was remarkably excellent in our math classes since our sophomore year. She needed two more students as teammates; so Jody (not her real name too) was chosen too [she volunteered herself 'coz she's Eleonor's bff]. I was listening to music using my earphones, thinking the teacher was too cooped up with the participant-choosing that she wouldn't notice me.

My conclusion was a mistake, she saw my earphones and threw a piece of chalk at me. I noticed the projectile and caught it, but that only made things worst. My teacher got mad but restrained her usual tantrum. Instead... She said "Grey! If you have so much credence to listen to music in my class, I believe you're prepared to answer the problem on the board! Now, please stand up and show your classmate how to 'x' in the first question."

She made me answer the problem she wrote a few moments ago. It was probably for Eli and Jody to practice with. I stood up and walked slowly to the board. My classmates were all dead silent, fearing they'd get sucked in my black hole of trouble too.

I looked at the question as I walked from the back row and analyzed every drop of memory I could find to relate any solution to my problem. Then, I recalled an educational show on TV I happened to pass by while channel surfing. It had the same problem and showed how to solve it. I tried to recall how it was done and when I got to the black board; I took a piece of chalk and wrote the solution. Trying to understand it myself as I went on. After a few seconds, I realized I was almost done. I underlined my answer and asked my teacher if I did it right.

She reviewed my solution. Gave me a smirk and said "Grey, you'll be part of Eleonor's team for the quiz bee."

I didn't object thinking I'll be given more punishment if I did.

My classmates cheered and whistled for me. They knew I was smart but they never expected me to embarrass a teacher in her own class the way I did.

Since then, I stayed after school hours for group studies. Sometimes I'd skip a session and just hang out with my friends at the park but Eli would come for me and drag me back to school.

Eli was a nice girl. She was my best friend since the very first day of our high school life. But she spent most of her time in front of books while I was in front of computers. She sometimes help me to make my projects, especially the essays cause she hates my handwriting. Anything I eat, she would eat and once a month we'd watch a movie. We kinda drifted when she started acting more of a girl than "just Eli".

Eli, Jody, and I studied every afternoon for an hour and a half. I stopped skipping sessions at the third time Eli came to the park to get me. The quiz bee was closing in and before we knew it, we were already competing in semi-finals. Eli was nervous when she never thought we'd be taking part for semi-finals. There were four teams left. If we won one more round we'd go to finals and if we win, we'll be participating in regional division.

I comforted her. I told her if she ever gets too nervous in the middle of a problem, she can always count on me to solve her problems for her. I thought it didn't make sense saying that but it made her feel better. Later on it made me think I just said something really cheezy.

We won finals and our teachers congratulated us at school. In a month we'd have to be ready for regional. I thought things would go smoothly from now on but I was wrong again, Jody fell and broke her leg. She had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks.

Every afternoon, Eli and I continued our studies and then brought some practice questions for Jody. We couldn't stay in the hospital for too long 'cause Eli was scared of seeing ghost (she liked reading ghost stories but was scared of any possibility of seeing a real ghost).

Afternoons with Eli were pleasant. Sometimes we'd get stuck in a question we both couldn't answer so we would just talk about random stuff. Sometimes she'd talk about her boyfriend and how great he was or how bad he was, depending on her mood. I often noticed I would sometimes prefer to change the topic when she'd open up about her boyfriend or I would feel uncomfortable thinking about him.

A week before the contest, she asked me if we could skip the studies for the afternoon. I didn't mind. It was one of my friend's birthday too so I could go there early. I was about ten feet away from the gate when I realized I forgot my calculator, so I hurried back to the classroom.

I was surprised when I saw Eli. Still sitting in the classroom where I left her. She was crying. I heard her silent sobs when I entered the room. I made no noise as I came closer.

"Eli?" I said. "Is there a problem?" I asked her. Trying to make my voice sound more sincere.
"Oh, Grey it's you." She said as she wiped her tears off her face and faced me. "Nothing's wrong. I just got some dust in my eyes. Maybe from the books. You know how sensitive my eyes are."
"You know Eli, if you ever have any problems, you can always come to me."
"This is nothing Grey."
"I know I may not have all the answers to all your problems but I'm always here to listen. I'm always here to help you in any way I can and more if possible." I told her. She burst into tears and started talking about her boyfriend. How they broke up last night. I was kinda glad they did but I placed all my emotions to the part that concerned Eli's feelings.
"Some times, we make bad decisions in life." I told her. "But what's important is we learn from them. In regards to your boyfriend, think about this: In love, you can't love a person just because he needs you. You must also need him too. Do you think you really need that much that you can't live your life without him?"
She stopped crying and said "No."
I just smiled at her.
"He probably just needed me to answer his homework anyway." She made a joke. We laughed for a moment.
It felt great to see her smile. It felt even better than great to make her smile. But she said something that made my stomach turn upside down for a split second. "Thanks Grey. You truly my best friend."

I didn't realize it until that moment that I fell in love for Eleonor. Those days I felt sicken by hearing nice things about her boyfriend, those times I'd feel excited to have another hour and a half with Eli in my day. It made sense. But she saw me as her best friend. Nothing more to that. And possibly, no probability of going further than that.

No. I said to myself. I had to know it from Eli, herself. I'll never know if I'll never tell her. I decided to tell her after winning regional's. That way, it'll be part of the celebration. I was so confident that she'd be my girl after this that I even envisioned getting a kiss from her after we get the award.

The day came when we competed in regional's. Jody's leg was already healed. We passed through elimination, then qualifying round, then it was semi-finals. The other schools were tough. Most of the time, our scores were so close. We got to finals. Our opponent was 3 points ahead of us and the last question was worth five points. If we could get the answer right, we would win. I could finally tell Eli. Sadly, the other school got the right answer first.

I didn't tell Eli how I felt. I couldn't. How could I when we lost the quiz bee? I then decided that my last two options would be prom and graduation.

She didn't go to prom though. She got sick. I went to prom, ate dinner and then left before the dancing started. I went to her house instead. Her mom let me in. I watched a movie with her until she fell asleep and I went home.

Days passed, then weeks, then a month came and another. Graduation came and I reserved all my guts to confess to her. I watched her as she gracefully received her diploma. I was clumsier than ever. My hat flew off my head and I on the stage to get it.

After we sang our graduation song, I rushed to the back stage where I hid a bouquet for her. I then looked for her. My friends got in the way with all the hugging and crying and goodbyes. I always said I'll never cry in graduation. After swimming through the crowd of teary graduates, I finally saw her. She was taking a picture with her parents. She was as beautiful as ever. Then, the guy taking their photo embraced her. Her father took the camera and took their picture. He kissed on the cheek and raised her up as he hugged her. It was clear to me that it was her ex. No, her boyfriend.

I left the bouquet on a chair and silently took my leave.

After three years, six months and two days, I went on a educational-trip with my school to a near island. On the ship, I saw Jody. We talked. She asked me why I suddenly disappeared after graduation. Why I didn't go to the "fair well" party. Why I didn't even text or email any of our classmates. Then I changed the topic and asked about Eli.

In her reply, she told me to come with her if I wanted to know how Eli was doing. I felt uncomfortable. Maybe cause if she was fine, she wouldn't have bothered me to go with her. When we arrived on the island, my school checked-in in the hotel. I asked permission from my teacher to leave the hotel for important matters. My teacher allowed me to leave but told me to come back as soon as possible.

I met up with Jody to a beach near the hotel. She drove us with a rental car to the highway. It made me scared as we passed through cemeteries. Thinking the worst possible outcome of our trip. When we stopped, we were in front of a huge hospital. She silently got out of the car. I followed her. We walked in and got on the elevator, we got off on the fourth floor.

The rooms there were classy. And the hall that gave us the way was very silent. We stopped and she told me to prepare myself. I took a deep breath and hoped Eli was just a nurse in the hospital. Maybe Jody was just having fun with all the mystery.

When she opened the door, I saw a skinny woman on a bed. She had a lot of apparatus surrounding her. She said "Hi Grey." in her usual tone, as if I was never gone for three and a half years. She told me she had Lupus Erythematosus. Eli explained to me how she knew she had lupus for quite a long time already but it never got too serious. The real reason why her boyfriend broke up with her was her disease. She told me that her disease got worst on prom night. It all connected.

Then a familiar looking man came in the room. It was the guy from graduation. Her boyfriend. He was a doctor too. I guess it made sense if he was caring for her.
"Oh, your boyfriend is here. I better give you some privacy." I said.
"Boyfriend? Him? Ew! Grey!" Eli said. Jody smiled. I was surprised by her answer. "That's Albert. My cousin!"
I felt embarrassed for a brief moment. I laughed at myself. But then I felt joy in hearing that one of my conclusions were another mistake. A mistake I was happy about.
I confessed my feelings for her. Told her how I came to realize my feelings, how I tried ever so hard to find the right moment to tell her how I felt. And tried to collect all my confidence just to walk towards her after graduation and just left after seeing her and her cousin.
She told me she felt the same way, but she was too scared to confess thinking I'd leave her too if I knew about her condition.

I felt happy she loved me too. But stricken by sadness of knowing her disease is giving her a countdown.
After I got back to my home town, I visited her every weekend. I cheered her up and that made me happy. One day I proposed, thinking it would give her the determination to see toward five more years of life and maybe get out of the hospital soon so we could get married. But instead, she insisted on having the wedding in the hospital. My brought my family to the hospital and we made exchanged our vows in the crowded room with Jody as her maid of honor. She wore a beautiful gown that allowed the apparatuses to stay on her, and it wasn't too grand to allow her to just sit on the bed. It was like her in every way; simple, elegant, and yet made it look so perfect that the gloomy hospital looked like a resort.

As we exchanged vows, her grip on my hand started to feel tighter. As I slipped on her ring, her hand slowly felt colder. We kissed our first kiss, our very first kiss. And tears fell off my eyes as her hand fell and the ring slid off from her finger. The waiting doctors and nurses moved me aside as they tended to her. But there was nothing they could have done. She held on for this day. The day where we both could see that we could be more than just best friends.