I never got to say it

Jake Correa

This is my first time on this site and after reading some of the sad experiences, it felt right to share mine.
I'm currently 22 years and the 10 years passed without a day that I didn't think about my grandfather, Lorenzo. he died on Sept.9, 2011.
I live in my mother's house and since she works abroad, my grandparents are the ones who are taking care of me.
But ever since I was in pre-school, it was my grandfather who always brought and fetched me from school.
My grandfather was a man of a few words and he never showed his love for his children or their kids. "Cari?o Brutal" as we call it or tough love. But he was a caring man but he showed it in his own way.
On March 21, 1999. We just moved in to our new house and everyone was excited but granddad had on his signature poker face.
2 months after we moved in, 2 days after my birthday, which was May 22. We could hear his coughs from his room his moaning. My grandmother was worried but us, the grandchildren, didn't mind it at all.
A week later, after grandma accompanied him for a check-up, he was diagnosed with lung cancer and the doctor gave him only 6 months to live, when my mom found out, she flew back home and admitted granddad to the hospital, we weren't allowed to visit because of his condition, thinking that we might cause more stress.
after a week, they billed out of the hospital and granddad was bedridden. But in the back of my mind, he was gonna snap out of it.
He fought for 2 years even though the doctor only gave him 6 months, then he finally succumbed.
We cried our hearts out that night, we father of the house just left us and we were.
Forward to ten years, I asked my grandma what kind of man is grandpa when he was courting her.When grandma told me about grandpa, he was a lot different from the man I knew. Grandma said he was sweet but fierce, stone cold but with a heart of gold. Grandma even said that he only cries when they're together or he's alone, he never cried in front of us. He was an old school man.
Then grandma told me story that broke my heart, as I mentioned before, gramps was the one who brought and fetched me to school, well there was this one time that he fetched me late and while waiting for him, I cried because I thought he forgot about, i didn't know he was stuck in traffic but i still got angry with him.
From then on, every time he brought me to school, he would stay there, in the waiting area of our school, and he waited until i was dismissed from class.
And when my mom and dad separated when i was 8, I kept looking for my dad and that hurt him deeply said grandma. Grandma said that I made him cry more times than all of my cousins combined, and grandma told I was his favorite grandchild and that crushed me. Because on his deathbed, he asked for me but being the stubborn child that I was, I didn't want to.
I wish I could return to that day, on 9th of September, I would give my life away so I could tell him that I loved him so much and I appreciate all the things that he has done for me that became unnoticed.
I wish I told him.