OK... this is a story that starts when I first entered high school... I was a 13 teen year old bisexual girl who was happy and joyous all the time. One day I met this amazing girl who, I have to admit... id fallen in love with... she was beautiful... brown eyes, long brown hair down to her butt, amazing smile, (for this story ill call her "Kate") So on that day I decided to become friends with her. A couple weeks later I had never felt so in love and hypnotized by this one girl so I asked (at the time I did know if she was gay or bi ) "w-will you go out with me?" She stared at me and laughed before saying "we should be wifeys" (of course that's what she said... in other words "no!") Weeks had past and she started teasing me... she said... [Read More]
Tags: Hurt, Heartbroken, Tears, Regret, Girlfriend, Hate, Love HurtsTable Of Contents Chapter 1: An Orphan Chapter 2: Friends Chapter 3: The Pariah Chapter 4: Forbidden Desire Chapter 5: Love Chapter 6: Self Hatred Chapter 7: Painful Memories Chapter 8: Demons From the Past Chapter 1: An Orphan 1: There was once a humble family who lived in Ireland. They were called the O'Neals. There was man named Brian, his wife named Ida, and their two children, a son named Dillon and a daughter named Claire. They were a poor family, but they were all honest, hard-working folk who all loved one-another dearly. Sadly, they suffered many abuses from their English landlords who stole their land and forced them to pay heavy taxes so that they were always poor. 2: Then came the great famine, and many people in Ireland began to starve. At first the O’Neals tried to make the best of things, but at length they fled... [Read More]
Tags: Love, Hate, Good, Evil, Kindness, Cruelty, Peace, War, Romance, Heartache, Depression, Hurt, Pain, Loss, SadI don't really remember a time when I haven't experienced suicidal thoughts; they've been flooding my mind on and off for the past few years. It seems natural to say that I never really experienced an urge to live. I never understood how other people could say "I want to live forever" or "I don't want to die" and mean it. On the 4th of April 2015 at around 2:00pm I did something that I have been hesitant about for weeks. I don't even know the reason as to why I did it, I wasn't really feeling down or suicidal, instead I felt cruelly happy to hold the power to take my own life, as pathetic as it may sound. I held the morphine pills in my hand; thoughts racing through my head 'what will others think?' 'will they cry?' 'what does death feel like?'...I remained calm and open to... [Read More]
Tags: Resuscitated, Suicide, Death, Guilt, RegretToday is December 23rd 2014, and I have finally broken. November 15th 2014, Science day at a local university. I arrived on my own gathered my things, got my schedule and sat down in the assembly hall, not thinking that today would be the day I met the girl who would haunt my thoughts for the rest of my miserable, lonely life. Opening excersizes were quick, they explained their color coordination system well and I understood where I was supposed to go, I had three classses that day. Each with a different color, you followed the trail with that same color of your class. My first class was a Human Anatomy class, labeled red. So I followed the red path leading to the red building and entered into the class... only it was the wrong class... I didnt realize that the color was actually pink, and in my defense... I... [Read More]
Tags: Regret, Love Loss, Missed OpportunitySummer of 2004, I was 16 years old a sophomore in high school.. My friends called me and told me they would be going down to the beach for a bonfire and asked if i would like to join... Well i didn't have anything to do so i said sure lets go... Little did i know i would meet someone that day that would change my life for ever... His name was Andrew he was also a sophomore... Might as well state now that he was not my type, haha.. He was white/mexican, bald head, baggy clothes, and a weed smoker (Hey i was fun, but at that time i definitely had not experimented with any drugs), pretty much what people would call a "gangster" except he did not claim a set.. Andrew had shown up with some friends.. One of them was dating one of the friends i showed... [Read More]
Tags: Lost, Heartbreak, Sad, Lonely, True Love, Mistakes, Missing, Miss You, Love, Relationship, Broken, HeartbrokenI remember the day I first met you. I remember the first word you said to me. I remember it all, but I bet you don’t remember. I remember the conversation we once had about doughnuts. I even remember the first time you said I love you. But I also remember how we fell apart. We had been together almost 5 months. It was the first day of school but it was also the day my heart died. I woke up feeling happy making sure to send you a good morning text and to remind you how much I love and care for you. Getting on the bus to find a seat was ok. I got to the school slowly feeling the dread of last year’s demons coming back. Me getting called fat and ugly while wishing and hoping for someone to hold me to help me fight my demons... [Read More]
Tags: Sad, Lost, Regret, Painful, Unfaithfulness, Cheating, Unloved, Broken Heart, Death, Hurt, Betrayal, Tears, MemorEvery one who reads this please give me your honest opinion. My name is Carter Douglas Mullins. And my whole life has been swaying to both sides. You may have read before a story I write called Mason and I. Well if you read it all you would know that for a lot of my life I have been a suicidal. It really sucks how all these people want to help sometimes because somewhat they are giving me even more reasons. Yes I have loving parents, and other family and yes I take a pill called paxel to help me get happy. And yes I used to have a therapist. And now though it has become exceedingly harder to move on. I cant help to look back at my parents and my family to see what they have been through. So far I have lost my twin, a couple of... [Read More]
Tags: Suicide, Suicidal, Love, Hurt, Regret, Pain, Memories, FamilyWhen I was little, my mother told me that I was the happiest little girl in the world. Wrong. It was all wrong. I was always alone in this world. Never once have I've told to be myself. Sit up straight, be polite, talk to others when spoken to, don't stay up late, and what not. Rules, rules, rules, it's all I've ever known. Years pass by, and so many times we moved from state to state, house to house, and school to school. I was broken, shattered so many times that I'll never be that little girl again. All of a sudden I'm in high school. The years always dragged, but I find myself as a freshmen too soon. Seven years have passed since I realized that no one really cared for me. Seven years I was alone, pretending to be happy, pretending to be someone's friend. I've been... [Read More]
Tags: Love Hurts, Lonely, Tears, Pain, Regret, Real, True Love, Young Love, Shattered, First Love, Gone, Heartache, HiWe can all say we have had one true person in our life. The one that listens,cares, and loves us. Mine was my grandpa, He was always there for me. When I was younger and I felt like no one cared, he always did. He never told me his heart was failing and he was in pain most of the time. Never told me, never showed it, never complained. He was always happy and tried his best to get me everything I wanted and to make me happy. I could tell him anything and everything he never judged me. I always thought he would be there and I never thought he would pass away. The day my parents told me he died I felt like my heart shattered. I burst into tears and couldn't stop crying I put my head in my knees and cried on my parents floor I... [Read More]
Tags: Regret, Care, Love, Chances, Death, Sad, FamilyI had a brother he was in a gang but decided to change. He never went back to the gang so they were looking for him to kill him. He found out about this and our whole family moved including me. After our 3 months of living in the new house we got used to it and all of us made new friends. So I woke up one day and I noticed that I didn't have my 5 dollars on the counter no more and I asked my brother and he said that he had gotten it and bought a soda and chips with that money when he was going going to the club last night . But said he would pay me back as soon as possible . I didn't agree because he went in my room and got it and I told him to not ever go in... [Read More]
Tags: Regret, Hurt, Brother, Family, Sad